[Page 126—Riddles And Catches]
Riddles And Catches
Which is the greatest peer that England ever produced? Shakespeare.
What is the grandest verse in existence? The universe.
What is the greatest stand ever made for civilisation? The inkstand.
What is that which, although black itself, enlightens the world? Ink.
What is that which is full of knowledge, and yet knows nothing? A book-case.
What is that which you and every living man have seen, but can never see again? Yesterday.
What is that which no man ever did see, which never was, but always is to be? To-morrow.
What thing is that that is lower with a head than without one? A pillow.
What volume is sure to bring tears to your eyes? A volume of smoke.
What is that which has form without substance, and size without weight? A shadow.
Name me and you break me. Silence.
What is that which renders life inert, and yet restores it? Sleep.
Formed long ago, yet made today, Employed while others sleep, What few would like to give away, Nor any wish to keep. A bed.
What is that which flies high, flies low, wears shoes, and has no feet? Dust.
What is that of which the common sort is best? Sense.
What is that which we often return yet never borrow? Thanks.
Name that bird which, if you do not, you must die? Swallow.
What is that which you cannot hold for ten minutes although it is "as light as a feather?" Your breath.
What is that which never was seen, felt, nor heard, never was and never will be, and yet has a name? Nothing.
What is that which Adam never saw, never possessed, and yet gave two to each of his children? Parents.
What is that we wish for, and when we have obtained we never know we have it? Sleep.
When is it that a person ought not to keep his temper? When it is a bad one.
What is yours, and is used by others more than yourself? Your name.
Can a man's pocket be empty when he's got something in it? Yes: when he's got a big hole in it.
What is better than presence of mind in a railway accident? Absence of body.
Melbourne, Hotham, Collingwood, Prahran, Richmond, Emerald Hill, and Cole's Book Arcade, all begins with an A.
Why is a penny like a black cat at Cole's Book Arcade? Because it has a head and a tail.
Why is Cole's Book Arcade like a Crocodile? Because it can't jump over the moon.
Why is Cole's Book Arcade like a learned man? Because it is well stocked with literature.
What is that which goes every morning at eight o'clock from the Post Office to Cole's Book Arcade, and every evening at six o'clock from the Parliament House to Cole's Book Arcade, without moving? Bourke Street.
How many sides are there to Cole's Book Arcade? Four. 1st, the right side; 2nd, the left side; 3rd, the outside; and 4th, the inside, where the 80,000 sorts of books are.
What are the oldest tops in the world? Mountain tops.
Which is the oldest table in the world? The multiplication table.
What kind of ship has two mates and no captain? A courtship.
What is that which is lengthened by being cut at both ends? A ditch.
What is that which one can divide, but cannot see where it has been divided? Water.
What is that which gives a cold, cures a cold, and pays the doctor? A draft.
What is the worst kind of fare for a man to live on? Warfare.
What vice is it that the greatest criminals shun? Ad-vice.
What is that which is often found where it is not? Fault.
What is that which we often catch hold of, and yet never see? A passing remark.
What is that which is often brought to the table, often cut, but never eaten? A pack of cards.
What is that which is full of holes and yet holds water? A sponge.
What window in your house is like the sun? The skylight.
What word is it of five letters, of which two being removed one only one will remain? St-one.
What is that from which if the whole be taken some will remain? The word "wholesome".
What word contains all the vowels in their proper order? Facetious.
How would you express in one word having met a doctor of medicine? Metaphysician.
Why is a nobleman like a book? Because he has a title.
Why is the alphabet like the mail? Because it consists of letters.
Why is a book like a tree? Because it has many leaves.
The idea of a machine to go by perpetual motion is perpetual nonsense. Multitudes of boys and men have wasted much valuable time in trying to find it, but they never can, as it is contrary to natural laws, and therefore impossible; but one certainty of the future is, that a million useful flying machines will flit hither and thither; and one certainty of the present is, that while Cole's Book Arcade contains 80,000 sorts of books, not a single person has yet been able to come to it for a supply in a flying machine.—Laggard inventors, think of this! N.B.—Cole once invented a flying machine, but it wouldn't work!
[Page 127—Riddles And Catches]
Riddles And Catches
If a man has twenty sick (six) sheep and one of them dies, how many will remain? Nineteen.
Can a leopard change his spots? Yes: when he is tired of one spot he can go to another.
Why does a piebald pony never pay a toll? Because his master pays it for him.
Where are you sure to find pity in the worst of misfortunes? In the dictionary.
Where did the witch of Endor live? At Endor.
What is most like a cat's tail? A kitten's tail.
What is that which no other animal but a cat possesses? Kittens.
What is the colour of a green-plot covered with snow? Green.
When is a man not a man? When he is a muff.
If a stone were thrown at you and fell into the water, what would it become? Wet.
What is the oldest tree in Australia? The Elder.
What trees bear the most fruit for the Market? The axle-trees.
Why is a clock not wound up, like a mile-stone? Because it stands still.
What is the easiest thing for a nigger to do? Keep dark.
How can you make a currant cake without currants? Put only one currant into it.
Which letters are never out of fashion? F A S H I O N.
Why is your nose like St. Paul's? Because it is flesh and blood.
Why do white sheep furnish more wool than the black ones? Because there are more of them.
What makes a pair of boots? Two.
What did Adam first plant in his garden? His foot.
How can a boy make his jacket last? By making his coat and waistcoat first.
She was plump and beautiful, and he was wildly fond of her; she hated him, yet woman-like, she strove to catch him. What was he? He was a flea.
What is the difference between six dozen dozen and half a dozen dozen? One is six gross and the other is six dozen.
What is that which a man can put into his right hand but never into his left? His left elbow.
What is that which a man with two eyes cannot see with one? T'other eye.
Spell and pronounce the word Pot, without saying Teapot?
Cautiously start a conversation about coins, and the ask, "Did you ever see any of those coins two of which make eighteen pence?" Of course they will say "no"; then show them a shilling and a sixpence, and you "have" them.
Would you rather an elephant killed you or a gorilla? Rather the elephant killed the gorilla.
When Shall We Three Meet Again?
One donkey has met another donkey and now there are two donkeys, as you see and you have to guess where the third donkey is: if you cannot guess it, some kind friend will tell you.
There was a donkey on one side of a river and some hay on the other side. The donkey wanted the hay, but he couldn't swim over the river, jump over it, nor cross the bridge. How could he manage it? Do you give up? Yes. Answer—That is what the other donkey did.
REPEAT THIS WITH A FRIEND 1. I went up one pair of stairs; 2. Just like me. 1. I went up two pair of stairs; 2. Just like me. 1. I went into a room; 2. Just like me. 1. I looked out of a window; 2. Just like me. 1. And there I saw a donkey; 2. Just like me.
"Around the rugged rocks the ragged rascals ran a truly rural race." Repeat this five times quickly without a mistake and see what it will come to?
A room with eight corners had a cat in each corner seven cats before each cat and a cat on every cat's tail. What was the total number of cats? Eight cats.
Speaking of persons who have educated themselves, I once knew a person who educated himself, and guess how the fellow spelt "Cat." You could not guess in a year? Answer.—"Kat," No. "Catt," No. "Katt," No. Give it up? Yes. "Cat."
Why is a cow's tail like a swan's bosom? Because it grows down.
When is a horse's head where it's tail should be? When his tail is towards the manger.
What should a clergyman preach about? About half-an-hour.
Although I've neither legs not feet, I'm only useful when I go; I have no tongue, but yet I tell What hundreds want to know.
My sides are firmly laced about, Yet nothing have within; You'll find my head is straight indeed, 'Tis nothing else but skin.
REPEAT THIS WITH A FRIEND 1. I am a gold lock; 2. I am a gold key. 1. I am a silver lock; 2. I am a silver key. 1. I am a brass lock; 2. I am a brass key. 1. I am a lead lock; 2. I am a lead key. 1. I am a monk lock; 2. I am a monk key.
MIND YOUR PUNCTUATION
King Charles 1. spoke half-an-hour after his head was cut off.
Every lady in this land Has twenty nails upon each hand Five and twenty hands and feet All this is true without deceit.
I saw a peacock with fiery tail I saw a blazing comet drop down hail I saw a cloud wrapped with ivy round I saw an oak creep upon the ground I saw a monkey swallow up a whale I saw the sea brimful of ale I saw an ale glass full fifteen feet deep I saw a well full of men's tears that weep I saw red eyes all of a flaming fire I saw a house bigger than the moon and higher I saw the sun at twelve o'clock at night I saw the man that saw this wondrous sight.
The Husband's Petition
Come hither my heart's darling, come sit upon my knee And listen while I whisper a boon I ask of thee. I felt a bitter craving—a dark and deep desire That glows beneath my bosom like coals of kindled fire. Nay, dearest, do not doubt me, though madly this I speak— I feel thine arms about me, thy tresses on my cheek; I know the sweet devotion that links thy heart with mine— I know my soul's emotion is doubly felt by thine.
And deem not that a shadow has fallen across my love; No, sweet, my love is shadowless as yonder heaven above. Oh, then, do not deny me my first and fond request, I pray thee, by the memory of all we cherish best— By that great vow that made thee my darling and my bride; Thou wilt not fail nor falter, but bend thee to the task. Put buttons on my shirt love—that's all the boon I ask!
To the inhabitants of the World! Will be published shortly by E. W. COLE, if he can see his way clear, a volume containing all that has ever been written, said, or thought by mankind. Price 1s. Also, a second volume, containing all that has NOT been written, said, or thought by mankind. Price 1s.
If the work can be successfully be brought out it will be a VERY, VERY, instructive one, and place E. W. COLE at the head of the literary world. To secure a copy of this valuable work Orders should be sent without delay, to COLE'S Book Arcade, Melbourne; or, to the Branch Establishments, at Sydney or Adelaide.
[Page 128—Ten Picture Puzzles]
Ten Picture Puzzles
He or She is Clever Who Discovers Nine of them,
[Page 129—Ten Picture Puzzles]
Ten Picture Puzzles
and Exceedingly Clever Who Finds Out the Whole Ten.
[Page 130—Picture Puzzle Land]
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[Page 136—Picture Puzzle Land]
B one day drove a flock of geese, And met with Farmer A: Says Farmer A, "How much a piece For this flock did you pay?" Says B, "I paid for all I drive Just six pounds and a crown; And I'm going to sell them, all but five, At yonder market town; When fifteen pence a head I'll charge Above what they cost me, And thus obtain a sum as large As I gave for all you see."
How many geese did B buy? How much did he give for each? and What price did he ask? He bought 25 geese at 5s each, and meant to ask 6s 3d each.
Oft sought in the country, much prized in the town? Like a king, above all, I can boast of a crown; If not found in the palace, I grace the chateau; Both the peer and the peasant my usefulness know. When I've not seen six months I am said to be old; Though exalted by nobles, I'm bought and I'm sold. Though ne'er in a sermon, I take part in all chat; Yet I'm ne'er found in this, but I'm always in that. I'm seen in most colours, am brown, black, or white, But am rarely found red and, when good, I am light; In demand with both sexes, selected with care, I'm prized by most men and add grace to the fair. Of no use to my owner when kept in his sight, I attend him by day, and oft serve him by night; As his slave I am passive; yet, strange it may sound, To keep me in order, I'm frequently bound. My fetters are silken; I'm useless at home, Though a constant companion whenever you roam; And, though no enchantment within me doth dwell, Pray tell me my name—for in that lies a spell!
'Twas born in anguish, 'twas cradled by care, And has lived ever since in the depths of despair. It dwells in the valley, it glides on the wave, It is laid with our ashes when cold in the grave. In darkness it brightens, in sunshine it dies, As far from the smile of enjoyment it flies. In the rainbow it sits, in the stars it has birth, And with angels descending it visits the earth. With Adam it dwelt, and so to Paradise came, But eve knew it not, though it shared in her shame. It mingles in battle, yet still it loves peace. It joins in the banquet, the dance, and the chase From the dream of our childhood it ne'er can depart And it lies, like a gem, in the core of the heart. The traveller bears it o'er desert along; The nightingale loves it, though strange to her song. On the point of an arrow it cleaves through the air Yet the pinions of birds cannot follow it there. The bosom disowns it, yet bright through our tears, When shed in affection, it ever appears. The cataract fearfully hurries it on, But, search it through billows and tempest—'tis gone. From the joys of our mortal existence 'tis driven; Yet finds an unchanging asylum in heaven. With the harp of the minstrel it ever shall dwell And it comes to my lips as I utter "Farewell".
The Letter A.
Though grief gives me birth, I'm a stranger to care. I scorn the dull earth, and float in the air. No lover claims me, though I revel in bliss. I taste of each lip, and melt in each kiss. I'm an egotist's pride, though in silence I reign; And, through free from sorrow, I'm always in pain. Though in laughter ne'er seen, in mirth I delight; In blindness I grope, though perfect in sight. In foolishness, Wisdom, and wit I've a place; Though dwelling in virtue I live in disgrace. Though frost knows me not, with winter I blend; And always to ice I'm a capital friend. I'm never in heat, though I live in the fire. Though never in want, I'm in every desire. I am I—, but the end of my paper I spy; So I'll wind up my stave and wish you good-by.
The Letter I.
[Page 137—Picture Puzzle Land]
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[Page 139—Picture Puzzle Land]
Australian Picture Puzzle
[Cole]'s [Book] [Arcade], [Coals] [Book] [Arcade]. It is [Inn] [Melbourne] town, of [Awl] the [Book] [Arcades] [Inn] this [Land] it has the m[Hostel(?)] renown, It was the [Fir]st, first [Book] [Arcade] t[Hat] [Inn] the [World] was found; It's [Still] the f[Eye][Nest] [Book] [Arcade] [Inn] [Awl] the [World] around. A lovely [Rainbow] s[Eye]gn ap[Ear]s above the [Book] [Arcade], And 'tis the very g[Ran]dest s[Eye]gn wa[Sever] yet dis[Play]ed. A [Mill]ion, yes! a [Mill]ion [Books] are [House]d with[Inn] its w[Awl]s Which [Can] [Bee] [Sea]n, looked at or [Bough]t by anyone t[Hat] c[Awls] The [Book] [U] wish, the [Book] [U] w[Ant] is [Awl]most sure to [Bee] Found [Sum]where [Inn] the [Book] [Arcade] if [U] will c[Awl] & [C].
[Page 140—Picture Puzzle Land]
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[Page 144—Shadows On The Wall]
This game is a kind of Magic Lantern Exhibition. It is very Interesting, always pleases the children, and is very easily learnt, and for amusing poor, sick children it is invaluable.
[Page 145—The Deaf And Dumb Alphabet]
The Alphabet of HAND-SIGNS is a great blessing to deaf and dumb persons, enabling them to converse almost as efficiently as others can by the organs of speech. It is also extensively used throughout the world as a useful accomplishment by those who are not deaf and dumb, and besides it has this recommendation:—It is the most easily learnt language in the world.
[Page 146—Language Of Flowers]
Language Of Flowers
The language of flowers in pre-eminently the language of refined and modest Courtship; millions have conveyed a message by presenting a flower which they dare not have uttered in their mother tongue.
In some countries this "LANGUAGE OF LOVE" is extremely common in the words of the poet:
"In Eastern lands, amid fragrant bowers, They tell the tale of Affection in Flowers."
Abatina, Fickleness Abecedary, Volubility Acacia, Friendship Acacia, Rose, Elegance Acacia, Yellow, Secret Love Acanthus, The Fine Arts Acalia, Temperance Achillea Millefolia, War Achimenes, Such worth is rare Aconite, Misanthropy Adonis, Flos, Sad memories Agnus Castos, Coldness Agrimony, Thankfulness Almond (common), Indiscreet Almond (flowering), Hope Almond, Laurel, Perfidy Allspice, Compassion Aloe, Affliction Amaranth (Globe), Immortal Amaranth (Cockscomb), Foppery Amaryllis, Splendid Beauty Ambrosia, Love returned American Elm, Patriotism American Linden, Matrimony Amethyst, Admiration Andromeda, Self-sacrifice Anemone (Garden) Forsaken Angelica, Inspiration Angrec, Royalty Apricot Blossom, Doubt Apple, Temptation Apple Blossom, Preference Apple, Thorn, Deceitful Character Arbor Vitae, Live for me Arum (Wake Robin), Zeal Ash, Mountain, Prudence Ash Tree, Grandeur Aspen Tree, Lamentation Asphodel, My Regrets Follow Auricula, Painting Auricula (Scarlet) Avarice Austurtium, Splendour Azalea, Temperance Bachelor's Buttons, Celibacy Balm, Sympathy Balm (Gentle), Pleasantry Balm of Gilead, Cure Balsam, Yellow, Impatience Barberry, Sharpness of temper Basil, Hatred Bay Berry, Instruction Bay Leaf, I change but in death Bay Tree, Glory Bay Wreath, Reward of merit Bearded Crepis, Protection Beech Tree, Prosperity Bee Orchis, Industry Bee Ophrys, Error Begonia, Deformity Belladonna, Silence. Hush! Bell Flower (White) Gratitude Betony, Surprise Bilberry, Treachery Bindweed, Great Insinuation Bindweed, Small, Humility Birch, Meekness Bittersweet, Truth Blackthorn, Difficulty Bladder Nut Tree, Amusement Bluebell, Sorrowful Regret Bonus Henricus, Goodness Borage, Bluntness Box Tree, Stoicism Bramble, Lowliness Broom, Neatness Buckbean, Calm repose Buglos, Falsehood Bulrush, Indiscretion Bundle of Reeds, Music Burdock, Touch me not Bur, You weary me Buttercup, Childishness Butterfly Orchis, Gaiety Butterfly Weed, Let me go Cabbage, Profit. Gain Cacalia, Adulation Cactus, Warmth Calycanthus, Benevolence Camellia, Red, Excellence Camellia, White, Loveliness Camomile, Energy in adversity Carnation, Striped, Refusal Carnation, Deep Red, Poor me Cardamine, Paternal error Candytuft, Indifference Canary Grass, Perseverance Campanula, Aspiring Carnation, Yellow, Disdain Cardinal Flower, Distinction Catchfly, Selene, False love Catchfly, Red, Youthful love Catchfly, White, Betrayed Cattleya, Mature charms Cedar, Strength Cedar of Lebanon, Incorruptible Cedar Leaf, I live for thee Celandine, Joys to come Centaury, Bluebottle, Felicity Champignon, Suspicion Cherry Tree, Good education Chestnut Tree, Do me justice Chinese Primrose, Lasting love Chickweed, Rendezvous Chicory, Frugality China Aster, Afterthought China Aster, Double, I agree China Aster, Single, I will think if it Chrysanthemum, Red, I love Chrysanthemum, White, Truth Chrysanthemum, Yellow, Slighted Love Cineraria, Always delightful Cinquefoil, Maternal Affection Circaea, Spell Cictus, Popular favour Citron, Ill-natured beauty Clematis, Mental beauty Clematis, Evergreen, Poverty Clianthus, Worldliness Clotbur, Rudeness Clover, Four-leaved, Be mine Clover, Red, Industry Clover, White, Think of me Cloves, Dignity Cobaea, Gossip Columbine, Folly Columbine, Red, Fearful Convolvulus, Bonds Convolvulus, Blue, Repose Convolvulus, Pink, Hopeless Coreopsis, Always Cheerful Coriander, Hidden worth Corn, Riches Corn Bottle, Delicacy Corn Cockle, Gentility Cornel Tree, Duration Coronella, Success to you Cosmelia, Charm of a blush Cowslip, Winning grace Crab (Blossom), Ill-nature Cranberry, Cure headache Cress, Stability Crocus, Cheerfulness Crocus, Saffron, Mirth Crown Imperial, Power Crowsbill, Envy Crowfoot, Ingratitude Cuckoo Plant, Ardour Cudweed, Remembrance Cuscuta, Meanness Cyclamen, Diffidence Cypress, Death Daffodil, Yellow, Regard Dahlia, Instability Daisy, Innocence Daisy, Michaelmas, Farewell Daisy, Variegated, Beauty Daisy, Wild, Will think of it Dandelion, Love's oracle Daphne, Glory Dew Plant, A serenade Dianthus, Make haste Dipteracanthus, Fortitude Diplademia, You are too bold Dittany, Pink, Birth Dittany, White, Passion Dock, Patience Dodder of Thyme, Baseness Dogsbane, Falsehood Dogwood, Durability Dragon Plant, Snare Dragonwort, Horror Dried Flax, Usefulness Ebony, Blackness Echites, Be Warned in Time Elder, Zeal Elm, Dignity Endive, Frugality Escholzia, Do Not Refuse Me Eupatorium, Delay Evergreen Thorn, Solace Fern, Flowering, Magic Fern, Sincerity Fever Root, Delay Fig, Argument Fig Marigold, Idleness Fig Tree, Prolific Filbert, Reconciliation Fir, Time Fir, Birch, Elevation Flax, I Feel Your Kindness Fleur-de-lis, I burn Fleur-de-Luce, Fire Fly Orchis, Error Flytrap, Deceit Fools Parsley, Silliness Forget-me-not, Forget-me-not Foxglove, Insincerity Foxtail, Grass, Sporting Frog Ophrys, Disgust Fumitory, Spleen Fuchsia, Scarlet, Taste Furze, Love for all Seasons Garden Chervil, Sincerity Gardenia, Refinement Geranium, Dark, Melancholy Geranium, Horse-show Leaf, Stupidity Geranium, Ivy, Bridal Favour Geranium, Lemon, Unexpected Meeting Geranium, Nutmeg, Expected Meeting Geranium, Oak-leaved, True Friendship Geranium, Variegated, Ingenuity Geranium, Rose-scented, Preference Geranium, Scarlet, Comforting, Kindness Geranium, Silver-leaved, Recall Geranium, Wild, Steadfast Piety Gladioli, Ready Armed Glory Flower, Glorious Beauty Goat's Rue, Reason Golden Rod, Encouragement Goosefoot, Goodness Gooseberry, Anticipation Gourd, Extent, Bulk Grape, Wild, Rural Felicity Grass, Utility Hand Flower Tree, Warning Harebell, Submission Hawkweed, Quicksightedness Hawthorn, Hope Hazel, Reconciliation Heart's-ease, Thought Heath, Solitude Helenium, Tears Heliotrope, I Turn to Thee Hellebore, Scandal Hemlock, You will be my death Hemp, Fate Henbane, Imperfection Hepatica, Confidence Hibiscus, Delicate Beauty Holly, Foresight Holy Herb, Enchantment Hollyhock, Fecundity Honesty, Honesty Honey Flower, Love, Sweet Honeysuckle, Affection Hop, Injustice Horehound, Fire Hornbeam, Ornament Horse, Chestnut, Luxury Hortensia, You are Cold Houseleek, Vivacity Houstonia, Content Humble Plant, Despondency Hyacinth, Sport, Game, Play Hyacinth, Purple, Adversity Hyacinth, Blue, Constancy Hydrangea, A Boaster Hyssop, Cleanliness Iceland Moss, Health Ice Plant, You Freeze Me Imbricata, Uprightness Imperial Montague, Power Indian Cress, Warlike Trophy Indian Jasmine, Attachment Iris, Common, Message Iris, German, Flame Ivy, Marriage Jacob's Ladder, Come Down Jasmine, White, Amiability Jasmine, Cape, Too Happy Jasmine, Carolina, Separation Jasmine, Spanish, Sensuality Jasmine, Yellow, Grace Judas Tree, Betrayal Juniper, Succour Justicia, Perfection Kennedia, Mental Beauty Kingcups, Desire of Riches Laburnum, Pensive Beauty Lady's Slipper, Win Me Lagerstroemia, Eloquence Lantana, Rigour Larch, Audacity Larkspur, Lightness, Levity Larkspur, Double, Happiness Larkspur, Pink, Fickleness Larkspur, Purple, Haughtiness Laurel, Glory Laurel, Common, Perfidy Laurel, Ground, Perseverance Laurel, Mountain, Ambition Lavender, Distrust Leaves, Dead, Sadness Lemon, Zest Lemon Blossom, Fidelity Lettuce, Cold-heartedness Lichen, Dejection Lilac, Field, Humility Lilac, White, Innocence Lily, Day, Coquetry Lily, Imperial, Majesty Lily, White, Purity Lily, Yellow, Falsehood Linden, Conjugal Love Lint, I feel my obligations Liverwort, Confidence Lobelia, Malevolence Locust, True, Elegance London, Pride, Frivolity Lote Tree, Concord Lotus, Eloquence Lotus Flower, Estranged Love Lotus Leaf, Recantation Love in a Mist, Perplexity Love Lies Bleeding, Desertion Lucurn, Life Lupine, Voraciousness Madder, Calumny Magnolia, Love of Nature Maiden Hair, Secrecy Mallow, Wildness Mallow, Marsh, Beneficence Marrow, Syrian, Persuasion Manchineal Tree, Duplicity Mandrake, Rarity Maple, Reserve Marianthus, Hope for Better Marigold, Grief, Chagrin Marigold, French, Jealousy Marigold and Cyprus, Despair Marjoram, Blushes Marvel of Peru, Timidity Meadow Lychnis, Wit Meadowsweet, Uselessness Mercury, Goodness Mesembryanthemum, Idleness Mezereon, I Desire to Please Mignonette, You are Good Milfoil, War Milkwort, Hermitage Mint, Virtue Mistletoe, I Surmount Mock Orange, Counterfeit Monkshood, Deadly Foe Near Moonwort, Forgetfulness Morning Glory, Affectation Moschatel, Weakness Moss, Maternal Love Mosses, Ennui Motherwort, Concealed Love Moving Plant, Agitation Mulberry, White, Wisdom Mushroom, I Can't Trust You Musk Plant, Weakness Myrobalan, Privation Myrrh, Gladness Myrtle, Love Narcissus, Egotism Nasturtium, Patriotism Nemophila, Success Nettle, Stinging, You Spiteful Nettle Burning Slander Nettle Tree, Conceit Night Convolvulus, Night Nightshade, Dark Thoughts Oak (Live), Liberty Oak Leaves (Dead) Bravery Oats, Harmony Oleander, Beware Olive, Peace Orange Blossoms, Purity Orange Flowers, Chastity Orange Tree, Generosity Orchis, Common, a Beauty Osier, Frankness Osmunda, Dreams Ox-eye, Patience Palm, Victory Pansy, I think of you Parsley, Festivity, Feasting Passion Flower, Superstition Pea, Common, Respect Pea, Everlasting, A meeting Peach, Matchess Charms Peach Blossom, Your Captive Pear, Affection Pear Tree, Comfort Pennyroyal, Flee away Peony, Shame, Bashfulness Peppermint, Warm Feeling Periwinkle, Early Friendship Persicaria, Restoration Peruvian Heliotrope, Devotion Petunia, Keep your Promise Pheasant's Eye, Remembrance Phlox, Unanimity Pigeon Berry, Indifference Pimpernel, Change Pine, Black, Pity Pine-apple, You are perfect Pine, Pitch, Philosophy Pink, Boldness Pink, Indian, Always lovely Pink, Indian, S. Aversion Pink, Mountain, Aspiring Pink, Red, Single, Pure Love Pink, Variegated, Refusal Pink, White, Ingeniousness Pink, Yellow, Disdain Plantain, What Man's Footstep Plane Tree, Genius Plum, Indian, Privation Plum Tree, Fidelity Plum, Wild, Independence Polyanthus, Pride of Riches Polyanthus, Crimson, Mystery Pomegranate, Foolishness Pomegranate, Flower, Elegance Poor Robin, Compensation Poplar, Black, Courage Poplar, White, Time Poppy, Red, Consolation Poppy, Scarlet, Fantastic Folly Poppy, White, Sleep—My Bane Potato, Benevolence Prickly Pear, Satire Pride of China, Dissension Primrose, Early Youth Primrose, Evening, Inconstance Primrose, Red, Unpatronized Privet, Prohibition Purple Clover, Provident Pyrus Japonica, Fairies' Fire Quaking Grass, Agitation Quamoclit, Busybody Queen's Rocket, Fashion Quince, Temptation Ragged Robin, Wit Ranunculus, Are Charming Ranunculus, Wild, Ingratitude Raspberry, Remorse Ray-Grass, Vice Reed, Complaisance Reed, Split, Indiscretion Rhododendron, Danger Rhubarb, Advice Rocket, Rivalry Rose, Love Rose, Australian, All that is Lovely Rose, Bridal, Happy Love Rose, Burgundy, Unconscious Beauty Rose, Cabbage, Ambassador of Love Rose, Campion, Deserve my Love Rose, Carolina, Love is dangerous Rose, China, Beauty Unfading Rose, Daily, I Aspire to thy Smile Rose, Damask, Beautiful Complexion Rose, Deep Red, Bashful Modesty Rose, Dog, Pleasure and Pain Rose, Guelder, Age Rose, Hundred-Leaved, Pride, Dignity Rose, Japan, Beauty only Rose, Maiden Blush, Show me Love Rose, Multiflora, Grace Rose, Moss, Superior Merit Rose, Mundi, Variety, Uncertain Rose, Musk, Capricious Beauty Rose, Musk, Cluster, Charming Rose, Thornless, Happy Union Rose, Unique, Call me not beautiful Rose, White, I am Worthy of You Rose, White, Withered, Infidelity Rose, Xmas, Relieve my anxiety Rose, Yellow, Jealousy Rose, York and Lancaster, War Rose, White & Red together, Unity Roses, Crown of, Reward of Rosebud, Red, Pure & Lovely Rosebud, White, Girlhood Rosebud, Moss, Confession of love Rosemary, You ever Revive Rudbeckia, Justice Rue, Scorn, Despite Rush, Docility Rye-grass, Changeable Saffron, Shun Excess Sage, Domestic Virtue Sainfoin, Agitation St. John's Wort, Animosity Salvia, Blue, Wisdom Salvia, Red, Energy Saxifrage, Mossy, Affection Scabious, Unfortunate Love Scabious, Sweet, Widowhood Scarlet Lychnis, Brilliant Eye Shinus, Religious Enthusiasm Sensitive Plant, Sensitiveness Senvy, Indifference Shamrock, Light-heartedness Snakesfoot, Horror Snapdragon, "No." Snowball, Bound Snowdrop, Hope Sorrel, Wild, Wit Ill-timed Sorrel, Wood, Joy Sothernwood, Jest, Bantering Spearmint, Warm, Sentiment Speedwell, Female Fidelity Speedwell, Spiked, Semblance Spider, Ophrys, Adroitness Spiderwort, Esteem, not Love Star of Bethehem, Guidance Starwort, Afterthought Stock, Lasting Beauty Stock, Ten-week, Promptness Stonecrop, Peace Straw, Broken, Quarrel Straw, Whole, Union Strawberry Blossom Perfect Strawberry Tree, Esteem, not Love Sultan, Lilac, I Forgive You Sultan, White, Sweetness Sultan, Yellow, Contempt Sumach, Venice, Intellectual Sunflower, Dwarf, Adoration Sunflower, Tall, Haughtiness Swallow-wort, Cure Heartache Sweet Basil, Good Wishes Sweetbrier, I wound, but love Sweet Flag, Yellow, Fitness Sweet Pea, Delicate Pleasures Sweet Sultan, Felicity Sweet William, Gallantry Sycamore, Curiosity Syringa, Memory Tamarisk, Crime Tansy, I war against you Teasel, Misanthropy Thistle, Common, Austerity Thistle, Fuller's, Misanthropy Thistle, Scotch, Retaliation Thorns, Branch of, Severity Thrift, Mutual Sensibility Throatwort, Neglected Beauty Thyme, Activity Toothwort, Secret Love Traveller's Joy, Safety Tree of Life, Old Age Trefoil, Revenge Tremella Nestoc, Resistance Trillium Pictum, Modest Beauty Truffle Surprise Trumpet, Flower, Fame Tuberose, Dangerous Pleasure Tulip, Red, Declaration of Love Tulip, Tree, Fame Tulip, Variegated, Beautiful Love Tulip, Yellow, Hopeless Love Turnip, Charity Valerian, I Wish to Please Valerian, Greek, Rupture Venus's Car, Fly with Me Venus's Looking Glass, Flattery Venus's Trap, Artifice Verbena, Pink, Family Union Verbena, Purple, I Weep for You Verbena, Scarlet, Unite Against Evil Verbena, Sweet-scented, Sensibility Verbena, White, Pray for Me Vernal Grass, Poor but Happy Veronica, Fidelity Veronica, Speciosa, I Dare Not Vetch, Shyness Vine, Intoxication Violet, Blue, Faithfulness Violet, Dame, Watchfulness Violet, Purple, Ever in My Mind Violet, White, Modesty Violet, Yellow, rural happiness Virginia Creeper, I cling to you Virgin's Bower Filial Love Viscaria oculata, dance with me Volkamenia, may you be happy Walnut, Intellect Wall-flower, Fidelity Water Lily, Purity of Heart Water Melon, Bulkiness Wax Plant, Susceptibility Wheat Stalks, Riches Whin, Anger Whortleberry, Treason Willow, creeping, Love forsaken Willow, Water, Freedom Willow, Weeping, Mourning Willow Herb, Pretension Woodbine, Fraternal Love Wormwood, Absence Xanthium, Pertinacity Yew, Sorrow
Flowers smell the sweetest and look the loveliest of all earthly things, and most men and woman throughout the World dearly love them, and hope to dwell beyond the grave where "Everlasting Spring abides, and NEVER WITHERING FLOWERS".
[Page 147—Kindness To Animals]
Kindness To Animals
Power of Kindness to Animals
Thousands of pathetic tales could be told of the sufferings of poor dumb animals and the sympathy of some kind human souls for them. The following one is from the Secretary of a Humane Society:—
The wife of a small country farmer wrote to me: "I can't bear sending the cattle to market. I always keep out of the way, for every animal on the place knows me, and they look at me so sadly, and, knowing what they're going to, I feel sometimes that I'd rather give the whole thing up, than go on rearing them to be knocked about and killed.
"I went to the market once myself to see a young beast being sold, but I'll never go again. I had fed it with my own hands every day, till it was like a child. I went to the market-town by train, and the young bullock was driven by road. I walked a little way out to meet it, and at last met it coming tramping along, and the drover told me he had had the greatest difficulty to get it along the last few miles; it had become so tired. You see it had not had much exercise, as when you are fattening things, it does not do to let them run about too much, or they'll 'run all the meat off their bones' again, as the saying is.
"When I went to Smithfield, I was ready to faint as I saw the men shouting and swearing, and slashing away with thick sticks. The poor things were so confused and knocked about that they didn't know what to do, and I went up to the man who seemed to be in charge of the pens that our auctioneer was going to sell from, and asked him if he would be kind to my poor bullock when it came. He only cursed it an laughed a mocking laugh, and said, 'Oh, yes, —— it, I'll be gentle with it. You wait, missis, and see! Do you think I'm here to coddle any —— beasts? If you do, you're —— well mistaken.'
"I couldn't bear to see what would happen. I couldn't stand it, so I went away, and then the men (dealers) simply stood and talked, and haggled with the farmers; and the drovers shouted and yelled, and hooted, and knocked the things about, and hit them on the nose and over the eyes, and poked and prodded them with sharp pointed sticks; and the dogs yapped and barked, and I never heard a single word of pity, or saw a sign of pity for the poor, tired, bruised, panting, and terrified creatures.
"It was a terribly hot day, and I wandered about the town all the afternoon, able to think of little else than of my poor bullock, and of what had become of it, when, as I was going to the station to my train, I met three or four cattle coming driven along. Suddenly one of them caught sight of me, and in spite of all the men could do came rushing up towards me. It was my poor bullock; but, oh, so terribly altered. I should hardly have known it.
"It seemed beside itself with joy to see me, and stood by me lowing so pitifully, as much as to say, 'Oh, I'm so glad I've found you! I know I'm safe now, and you won't let these awful men carry me off again'.
"At last they managed to get it to move on by flogging it savagely, and, heart-sick and conscience-smitten, I went to the station; and when I got the money that it was sold for it seemed to me like 'the price of blood.' But what can I do?
"I suppose the proper thing is to get hardened and to think nothing about it, like other people; but it is so dreadful that I can never go to market to see another of my poor beasts sold."
Kind Miss Cobbe
Miss Frances Power Cobbe gave herself, heart and soul, to the defence of the animals, not because she loved them more than human beings but because she could not bear to see the men acting so wickedly towards them, nor to hear the groans of the helpless victims.
In the account of her life, written by herself, she says: "It is not the four legs nor the silky or shaggy coat of a dog which should prevent us from discerning his inner nature of thought and love; limited thought, it is true, but an unlimited love. That he is dumb, is to me only another claim (as it would be in a human child) on my consideration... Another dog, whom I sent away at one year old to live in the country, was returned to me eight years afterwards old and diseased. The poor beast knew me again after a few moments' eager examination, and uttered an actual scream of joy when I called her by name, exhibiting every token of tender affection for me ever afterwards."
In her books entitled "Dogs whom I Have Met," she says: "The dog who really loves his master delights in mere propinquity, likes to lie down on the floor resting against his feet, better than on a cushion a yard away, and after a warm interchange of caresses for two or three minutes asks no more, and subsides into perfect contentment. That a short tender touch of the dog's tongue to hand or face corresponds exactly, as an expression of his feelings, to our kisses of affection, there can be no sort of doubt. All dogs kiss the people they love."
Tennyson, when on a visit to Miss Cobbe, bade her go bravely on as she had begun, and "fight the good fight," by which he meant the warfare against cruelty in which she was engaged. After his death it was sad to hear the wail of three dogs, a collie, a Scotch terrier, and a Russian wolf-hound, constant companions and friends of the poet. Thousands of dogs have pined, and died of grief, for their loved masters.
At a Bull Fight
The following is a pathetic narrative entitled "El Moro."
A Cadiz letter says: "Notice had been posted on all the public places that on a certain day the bull called 'El Moro' would be introduced into the arena, and that, when he should have been goaded to the utmost fury, a young girl would appear and reduce the animal to quiet subjection. The people of Cadiz had heard of 'El Moro' as the most magnificent bull ever brought into the city, and it soon became known that the girl just advertised was a peasant girl of Espara, who had petted the bull, and fed it and cared for it during the years of it's growth. On the appointed day the vast amphitheatre was filled with an anxious, eager crowd. Several bulls had been killed and dragged away, and then the flourish of trumpets announced the coming of the hero of the day. With a deep, terrific roar, 'El Moro' entered upon the scene. He was truly magnificent; a bovine monarch, black and glossy, with eyes of fire, dilating nostrils, and wicked-looking horns. The picadores attacked him warily, hurling their banderillos (small, dart-like javelins ornamented with ribbons, and intended to jade and infuriate). The bull had killed three horses offhand, and had received eight banderillos in his neck and shoulders, when, upon a given signal, the picadores and matadores suddenly withdrew leaving the infuriated beast alone in his wild paroxysm of wrath. Presently a soft musical note, like the piping of a lark, was heard, and directly afterwards a girl of not more than fifteen years of age, an the tasteful garb of an Andalusian peasant, and with a pretty face, sprang lightly into the arena, approaching the bull fearlessly, at the same time calling his name—'Moro! Moro! Va voy!' At the first sound of the sweet voice the animal ceased his fury, and turned towards the place whence it came, and, when he saw the girl, he plainly manifested pleasure. She came to his head, and put forth her hand, which he licked with his tongue. Then she sang a low, sweet song, at the same time caressing the animal by patting him on the forehead, and, while she sang, the suffering monarch kneeled at her feet. Then she stooped and gently removed the cruel banderillos, after which, with her arms around 'El Moro's' neck, she led him towards the gate of the torril."
[Page 148—Funny Australian Natives]
Funny Australian Natives
The Kangaroo is the largest native animal in Australia. He is about 5 feet high when he sits up, he has a head somewhat like a rabbit's, his hands or fore feet are small but his hind feet are large, and he has a very thick tail. He can kick and tear with his sharp hind claws in a very dangerous manner. He frequently kills dogs with his claws, but, when he is chased by dogs, if he is near water he makes for it and often drowns the dogs if they come into the water after him. He leaps or hops about 15 feet at a time and goes very fast. The mother carries her young in a pouch, as seen in the picture, and when the baby kangaroos are frightened they run at once into their mother's pouch for safety, like any other babies running to their mother.
Australian Native Cat
It is a wild Cat, generally brown or black with many large and small white spots on it. It lives on small animals, including birds and their eggs, and is a great pest to farmers, killing their poultry.
The Emu lives upon vegetable food such as fruits, roots, and grass. It has a great curiosity and is easily tamed. It is very inoffensive except when violently attacked; then it kicks like a horse. It is said that its kick will break a man's leg. Its flesh is eaten by the natives and is said to look and taste like beef. It can run very fast. It lays from 6 to 12 dark green coloured eggs and its young are pretty little striped things as in the above picture. It is, next to the Ostrich, the largest bird in the world, being 5 or 6 feet high, its colour is a mixture of grey and brown, and its voice has a low booming sound. It is generally coupled with the Kangaroo in the Australian Arms.
The Platypus is sometimes called the Water Mole. It is, perhaps, the most wonderful animal in the world in its combination, being part bird, part beast, part fish. It has a bill like a duck; five toes with claws and webbed feet; it is covered with thick glossy fur like a seal; it has cheek pouches like a monkey to keep it's food in; it lays two eggs, its voice resembles that of a young puppy, and the young platypuses play like puppies; it lives in rivers and makes burrows often 20 or 30 feet long; it feeds upon water insects, shell fish, etc.
[Page 149—Funny Australian Natives]
Funny Australian Natives
The Australian Native Bear is a dear little harmless fellow, and is easily tamed. He lives in the gum trees, feeds upon gum leaves, and loves his mother who carries him on her back and is very fond of him. He has a thick fluffy coat, big bushy ears, and no tail. He cries like a child if he misses his mother. The cry very pathetically if they are wounded, which they frequently are in the bush, by cruel wicked boys and men who think it is sport to shoot at the poor harmless creatures.
The Australian Bower Bird is an extensive builder; it not only builds its nest in a tree but it builds a palace on the ground in the shape of a bower hut, furnishes it with nick-nacks such as shells, bones, pieces of mineral, metals, bright parrots' feathers and other trifles. What the English magpie would steal and hide away the Bower Bird openly decorates his pavilion with. Often several birds collect together and play like children, running in, out, and around their wonderful bower-palace as shown in our picture.
The Australian Lyre Bird is a most beautiful creature, said to be a variety of the Bird of Paradise. It runs very quickly, and springs very high, and calls very loudly. It lays but one egg a year and, consequently, only has one baby per annum. It is a great mimic. Mr. Metcalfe in his "Australian Zoology", describing it, says: "It is a consummate mimic and ventriloquist. It imitates to perfection the notes of all other birds, the united voices of a flock of parrakeets, the barking of dogs, the sawing of timber and the clink of the woodman's axe. This it has earned for itself the title of the Australian Mocking Bird."
Our Seven Funny Australian Natives
The Kangaroo says, whenever I jump, I always come down with a great big thump.
The Emu can give a nasty kick; Which is worse than getting a hit with a brick.
I'm but a funny wild, little, spotted Native Cat, With claws and tail like a squirrel and a nose like a rat.
Common people call me simply Mr. PLATYPUS, Learned people call me Mr. OR-NI-THO-RINK-KUS.
I'm bit a little Native Bear, and am so happy and bright, I sleep and dream in a tree by day, and climb about at night.
The clever Bower Bird builds his nest up a tree, And his beautiful palace down on the lea.
Here we see a pretty bird, of its voice you will never tire, But tho' it mocks the sounds it hears the bird is still a Lyre.
(By a Company of Three Particularly Poor Poets.)
[Page 150—Pussy Land]
Puss in the Well
Ding dong dell, pussy's in the well! Who put her in?—little Tommy Lin. Who pulled her out?—dog with long snout. What a naughty boy was that To drown poor pussy cat, Who never did any harm But kill'd the mice in his father's barn.
The Singing Cat
A cat came fiddling out of a barn, With a pair of bagpipes under her arm; She could sing nothing but fiddle cum fee, The mouse has married the bumble-bee. Pipe cat—dance, mouse, We'll have a wedding at our good house.
Puss in London
Pussy-cat, pussy-cat, where have you been? I've been to London to visit the Queen. Pussy-cat, pussy-cat, what did you there? I frighten'd a little mouse under the chair.
Pussy-Cat and Mousey
Pussy-Cat lives in the servant's hall, She can set up her back and purr; The little mice live in a crack in the wall, But they hardly dare venture to stir; For whenever they think of taking the air, Or filling their little maws, The Pussy-cat says, "Come out if you dare; I will catch you all with my claws." Scramble, scramble, scramble, went all the little Mice, For they smelt the Cheshire cheese, The Pussy-Cat said, "It smells very nice, Now do come out, if you please." "Squeak," said the little Mouse; "squeak, squeak, squeak," Said all the little ones too; "We never creep out when cats are about, Because we're afraid of you." So the cunning old Cat lay down on a mat By the fire in the servants' hall: "If the little Mice peep, they'll think I'm asleep;" So she rolled herself up like a ball. "Squeak," said the little Mouse, "we'll creep out And eat some Cheshire cheese, That silly old Cat is asleep on the mat, And we may sup at our ease." Nibble, nibble, nibble went all the little mice, And they licked their little paws; Then the cunning old Cat sprang up from the mat, And caught them all with her claws.
Puss in the Pantry
Hie, hie, says Anthony, puss in the pantry Gnawing, gnawing a mutton, mutton-bone; See now she tumbles it, see now she mumbles it, See how she tosses the mutton, mutton-bone,
Dick killed Puss
Do look at the cat! why, what is she at? She's catching a rat that's hid in Dick's hat. Dick ran for a bat to knock him down flat, But, crossing the mat the foolish young brat Tripped up and fell flat, He half killed the cat Instead of the rat, Hal cried out that that Was just tit for tat.
Puss and the Monkey
Says Mr. Monkey, giving a wink; "It would be exceedingly funny, I think, To catch the cat, and give her a drink, Out of a great big bottle of ink."
So, suiting the action to word, He caught up Puss, but she demurred; And made such a noise you never heard, And said it 'twas worse than eating a bird.
The Puss she didn't like ink at all! She didn't like bottles great or small; Ink to her was worse than gall, And so she did nothing but spit, mew, and squall. And that's all!
Sing, sing, what shall I sing? The cat has ate the pudding-string! Do, do, what shall I do? The cat has bit it quite in two.
Poor Puss, dear, lovely pretty puss, Content at home to stay; Thy pleasure's shown in gambol tricks And loves to skip and play.
Grateful for every sup of milk, And for every bit of meat; Gives lively proof of gratitude By singing while you eat.
See, how she cleans her sleeky skin! A soil would prove a flow; She licks her neck, her sides and back, And don't forget her paw.
Mary's Puss Drowned
Mary had a little cat, With long snow-white hair. Such a merry little cat, Jumping everywhere.
When Mary went to take a walk, Pussy ran to meet her, Rubbed its head against her frock And said, 'Purr, purr,' to greet her.
Once, when Mary was at school, Some cruel bad boys found it, And in a pond beside the road, Oh, sad to tell, they drowned it!
Poor Mary's face was wet with tears, When she found Pussy lying:— I would not be a cruel boy, To set poor Mary crying.
I love little Pussy, her coat is so warm; And if I don't hurt her, she'll do me no harm, So I'll not pull her tail, nor drive her away, But Pussy and I very gently will play. She'll sit by my side, and I'll give her some food; And Pussy will love me, because I am good. Oh! here is Miss Pussy, she's drinking her milk; Her coat is as soft and as glossy as silk. She sips the milk up with her little lap-lap; Then, wiping her whiskers, lies down for a nap. My kitty is gentle, she loves me right well; How funny her play is I'm sure I can't tell. Now under the sofa, now under the table. She runs and plays bopeep as well as she's able. Oh! dearly I love her! you never did see Two happier playmates than kitty and me.
[Page 151—Pussy Land]
Dame Trot once went to a neighbouring fair. And what do you think she bought herself there? A pussy! the prettiest ever was seen; No cat was so gentle, so clever and clean.
Each dear little paw was as black as a sloe, The rest of her fur was white as the snow, Her eyes were bright green, and her sweet little face Was pretty and meek, full of innocent grace.
Dame Trot hurried home with this beautiful cat; Went upstairs to take off her cloak and her hat; And when she came down she was astonished to see That Pussy was busy preparing the tea.
"Oh, what a strange cat!" thought poor little Dame Trot, "She'll break my best china and upset the pot." But no harm befell them: the velvety paws Were quite sure; the Dame for alarm had no cause.
Next morning when little Dame Trot came downstairs, To attend as usual, to household affairs, She found that the kitchen was swept up as clean As if Puss a regular servant had been.
The tea stood to draw, and the toast was done brown; The Dame very pleased to her breakfast sat down; While Puss by her side on an armchair sat up, And lapped her warm milk from a nice china cup.
Now Spot, the old house-dog, looked on in amaze, He'd never been used to such queer cattish ways, Put Puss mewed so sweetly, and moved with such grace, That Spot at last liked her, and licked her white face.
Poor little Dame Trot had no money to spare, And only too often her cupboard was bare; Then kind Mrs Pussy would catch a nice fish, And serve it for dinner upon a clean dish.
The rats and the mice, who wished Pussy to please, Were now never seen at the butter and cheese; The Dame daily found that their numbers grew thinner, For Puss ate a mouse every day for her dinner.
If Puss had a weakness, I need but confess 'Twas a girl of the period's fancy for dress, Her greatest desire a high chignon and hat, And a very short dress a la mode for a cat.
So one day when Dame Trot had gone out to dine, Puss dressed herself up, as she thought, very fine, And coaxed kind old Spot, who looked at her with pride, To play pony for her, and give her a ride.
Now Spot, who to welcome his mistress desired, And to "company manners" had never aspired, Jumped up to fawn on her—and down came the cat, And crushed, in her tumble, her feather and hat.
"Oh, puss!" said Dame Trot, "what a very sad mess! You'd best have remained in your natural dress; The graces which Nature so kindly bestows Are more often hid than improved by fine clothes.
Mistress Puss and Doggy
A little dog said, and he looked very wise, "I think, Mistress Pus, You make a great fuss With your back and your great green eyes And you, Madam Duck, You waddle and cluck, Till it gives one the fidgets to hear you; You'd better run off To the old pig's trough, Where none but the pigs, ma'am, are near you."
The duck was good-natured, and she ran away; But old pussy-cat With her back up sat, And said she intended to stay; And she showed him her paws, With her sharp, long claws, So the dog was afraid to come near, For Puss if she pleases, When a little dog teases Can give him a box on the ear.
Don't Hurt Puss
I like little pussy, her coat is so warm, And if I don't hurt her she'll do me no harm; So I'll not pull her tail, nor drive her away, But Pussy and I very gently will play.
Head In The Milk Jug
Ho! Master, Mistress, Mary, run, Your Tabby is in grief; This broken jug caught hold of me As though I were a thief.
Cat Up The Plum Tree
Diddledy, diddledy, dumpty, The cat ran up the plum tree I lay you a crown I'll fetch her down; So diddledy, diddledy, dumpty.
Pussy Cat Mole Jumped over a coal, And in her best petticoat burnt a great hole Poor Pussy is weeping, she'll have no more milk Until her best petticoat's mended with silk.
The Three Little Kittens
Three little kittens they lost their mittens, And they began to cry, "Oh! mammy dear, we sadly fear, Our mittens we have lost." "What! lost your mittens, You naughty kittens, Then you shall have no pie." Miew, miew miew, miew.
The three little kittens had need of mittens: The winter was now nigh. "Oh! mammy dear, we fear, we fear, Our mittens we shall need." "Go, seek your mittens, You silly kittens; There's a tempest in the sky." Miew, miew, miew, miew.
The three little kittens, in seeking their mittens, Upset the table high. "Oh! mammy dear, we doubt and fear, The house is tumbling down," "You foolish kittens, Go find your mittens, And do not make things fly." Miew, miew, miew, miew.
The three little kittens they found their mittens, And they began to cry, "Oh! mammy dear, see here, see here, Our mittens we have found." "What! found your mittens, You little kittens; Then you shall have some pie." Purr, purr, purr, purr.
The three little kittens put on their mittens, And soon ate up the pie; "Oh! mammy dear, we greatly fear, Our mittens we have soiled." "What! soiled your mittens, You naughty kittens!" Then they began to sigh. Miew, miew, miew, miew.
The three little kittens they washed their mittens, And hung them up to dry. "Oh! mammy dear, look here, look here, Our mittens we have washed," "What! washed your mittens, You darling kittens!— But I smell a rat close by! Hush! Hush!" Miew, miew.
The three little kittens put off their mittens, A hunting match to try. "Oh! mammy dear, his hole is here: Our mittens down we fling." Both cat and kittens Flung down their mittens; When—whisk!—the rat ran by. Miew, miew, miew, miew.
The Dunce of a Kitten
Come, Pussy, will you learn to read? I've got a pretty book: Nay, turn this way, you must indeed, Fie, there's a sulky look!
Here's a pretty picture, see An apple with a great A; How stupid you will ever be If you do nought but play!
Come, A B C, an easy task, What anyone can do, I will do anything you ask, For dearly I love you.
No, no, your lesson is not done, You have not learnt it half; You'll grow a downright simpleton, And make the people laugh.
[Page 152—Pussy Land]
Old Daddy Hubbard and His Cat
Old Daddy Hubbard Went to the cupboard, To get poor Puss some meat; But when he got there, I do declare, There was nothing but two pig's feet.
Daddy went to the fish shop To get Puss a sprat, And when he came back, She was watching a rat.
Daddy went to the carpenter's To get Puss a house, And when he came back She was catching a mouse.
Daddy went to the miller's To get Puss some meal, And when he came back She was skinning an eel.
Daddy went to a meadow To get milk from a cow, And when he came back, Puss cried: "Me-ow, Me-ow."
Daddy went to the crockery shop To get Puss a dish, And when he came back She had caught Ma's goldfish.
Daddy went to the dairy To get Puss some curd, And when he came back She'd ate Ma's pet bird.
Daddy went to the brewer's To get Puss some beer, And when he came back She's a flea in her ear.
Daddy went for some water, To give Puss some souse, And when he came back Puss was top of the house.
Daddy went to the ironmonger's To get Puss a saw, And when he came back She had scalded her paw.
Daddy went to the photographer's To get Puss some pictures, And when he came back, She had burnt off her whiskers.
Daddy went to the garden To get Puss a snail, And when he came back She'd a bottle-brush tail.
Daddy went to the grocer's To get Puss some tea, And when he came back She had run up a tree.
Daddy went to the draper's To buy Puss some mittens, And when he came back She was licking her kittens.
Daddy went to the stable To get Puss a donkey, And when he got back She was teaching the monkey.
Daddy went to the confectioner's To buy Puss a lollie, And when he came back She was nursing the dolly.
Daddy went to get clothes To make Puss a lady, And when he came back She was kissing the baby.
Daddy took Cole's balloon And got Puss a cloud, But Puss when she saw it Laughed right out loud.
Daddy went to the store To get Puss a herring, And when he came back She kept loving and purring
Daddy went to the furrier's To get Puss a muff, And when he came back She was taking some snuff.
Daddy went to the baker's To get Puss a bun, And when he came back She was beating a drum.
Daddy went to the dressmaker's To buy Puss a frock, And when he came back She was winding the clock.
Daddy went to the jeweller's To get Puss a brooch, And when he came back She'd caught a cockroach.
Daddy went to Cole's Book Arcade Some cheap music to buy, And when he came back Puss had made a mud pie.
Daddy went to Cole's Book Arcade To buy Puss some pens, And when he came back She was feeding some hens.
Daddy went to Cole's Book Arcade To buy Puss a slate, And when he came back She opened the gate.
Daddy went to Cole's Book Arcade To buy Puss some ink, And when he came back She gave him a wink.
Daddy went to Cole's Book Arcade For an exercise book, And when he came back Puss gave a wise look.
Daddy went to Cole's Book Arcade To buy Puss a purse, And when he came back She was singing a verse.
Daddy went to Cole's Book Arcade And Oh me! Oh my! And when he came back Puss had swallowed a fly.
Daddy went to Cole's Book Arcade Some paper to buy, And when he came back Puss thought she would die.
Daddy went to the doctor's To get Puss a pill, And when he came back She still looked very ill.
Daddy went to the auction sale To buy Puss a bed, And when he came back Puss Shammed to be dead.
This was a very wise, knowing Puss; she could read and write, and liked books very, very much, and didn't want to die and be buried, and leave all the mice, and milk, and sausages, and nice books; so she made haste and got better, and when
Daddy went to the cemetery To dig her a grave, Puss rushed off at once Into Cole's Book Arcade.
And that is the present residence of Miss Puss.
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The Story of a Little Mouse: Or, Our Happy Family.
Once there was a little mouse, Who came to live in our house; She came because she was terribly frighten'd To stay outside as it thunder'd and lighten'd.
When she came in 'twas nearly dark, And Ponto he began to bark; But she ran round at a rapid rate, Then darted in behind the grate.
Ponto smelt, and sniff'd, and bark'd and scratch'd, But Mousey was safe and couldn't be catch'd; So Ponto, when tired laid down to sleep, And Mousey quite quiet determined to keep.
Mousey stayed there a month, as she thought it was better, And Ponto could smell her, but never could get her, But every morning when Ponto went out, Miss Mousey crept forth, and for crumbs looked about.
Now one day as Ponto came into the house, Thinks he, I'll be KIND to that poor little mouse; "So come out Miss Mousey," our Ponto he said, "And if anyone hurts you I'll bite off his head."
So the poor little mouse came out of the grate, And ate with our Ponto out of his plate, And always when Ponto laid down on the mat, Beside him Miss Mousey in her little chair sat.
But one rainy night as Miss Mousey sat still, A thing called a bat, came over the hill; But Ponto says to him, "You are not wanted here," And sent the bat off with a flea in his ear.
The very same night as they lay on the mat, What should come rushing in but a great big rat; Up jumped Mr. Ponto and gave a loud bark, And that rat scampered off out into the dark.
They had just got rid of the bat and the rat, And what should come in but a GREAT TOM CAT; Came jumping, springing, and bounding along, And frightened Miss Mousey more than a gong.
He raced after mousey, around, in and out, Through the house and the yard, and all round about; To the East, to the West, to the North, to the South, And at last caught her up in his great big mouth.
He squeezed her back hard and frighten'd her so, She scarcely could say, "O, please let me go!" But Tom spoke and said, "Mouse is very good meat, And as I feel hungry, why, it's you I shall eat."
Tom let her go once, but caught her afresh, Although Mousey made a most desperate dash; And again Mousey pleaded, "Oh, please let me go"; But Tom only answered, "Decidedly No!"
But as luck should now have it, our Ponto came in, And asked Mr. Puss, "What's this horrible din?" Says Puss to our Ponto, "I've caught this sly thief, And now I intend to bring her to grief."
Says Ponto to Puss, "The mouse is my friend, And if you would hurt her, why I must defend That nice little, kind little, good little mouse, As long as she ever remains in this house."
Says Pussy to Ponto, "I pray you don't fret; I'll love and I'll cherish your poor little pet; She shall sleep on the mat, and we'll find her in food, Because she is nice and because she is good."
So the nice little mouse, the dog and the cat, all three ate together, and slept on the mat; They sung, danc'd and romp'd with joy and merry laughter, And as the old take says, "Lived happy ever after."
[Page 154—Pussy Land]
History of Mr. Tom Puss And The Rats
Mrs. Puss stayed at home, minded and played with young Master John Puss, Miss Mary Puss, and Baby Puss, while Mr. Puss went out to get them something to eat. He went into a barn, tied a piece of cheese to the tip of his tail, and put it through a hole in a door, thinking that he would catch a rat that way. Some very knowing rats on the other side of the door got a piece of string, tied it to his tail, pulled all together, and made Mr. Puss me-ow very loud, and he found that instead of his catching a rat, the rats had caught him. Mrs. Puss, finding that Mr. Puss did not come home, put little John Puss and Mary Puss to bed without any supper, and then sang little deaf Baby Puss off to sleep by means of the ear trumpet. The rats ate their supper off Mr. Puss's tail, and then let him go. You see what a fine long tail he had when he put it through the hole to catch rats in that foolish manner; and look at his short tail now, in the corner of the page.
Wasn't He A Foolish Puss!!!
[Page 155—More Pussy Land]
Puss In Boots
Once upon a time there was a miller who had three sons. When he was dying he left each of them a legacy. To his eldest son he left his mill; to his second his ass; and to his youngest his cat. The poor boy was very sad when he found that he had nothing belonging to him but a cat; but, to his great surprise, puss jumped on the table and said in a friendly manner: "Do not be sad, my dear master, only buy me a pair of boots and a bag and I'll provide for you and myself." So the miller's son, who had a shilling or two in his pocket, bought a smart little pair of boots and a bag, and gave them to puss, who put some bran and sow-thistles into his bag, opened the mouth of it, and lay down in a rabbit warren. A foolish young rabbit jumped into it; puss drew the string and soon killed it. He went immediately to the palace with it. He found the king and queen sitting on the throne, and, bowing low, he laid the rabbit at the king's feet, saying: "Please, your majesty, my master, the Marquis de Carabas, has sent you a rabbit from his warren, as a mark of respect." "I am much obliged to the Marquis," said the king, and he ordered the rabbit to be taken to the cook, and a piece of money to be given to the cat.
During two or three months the cat continued to carry game every now and then to the king, which was supposed to be the produce of his master's sport. One day when he happened to hear the king was going to take a drive on the banks of the river, in company with his daughter, who was the most beautiful princess in the world, puss desired the master to go and bathe in the river at the spot that he should point out, and leave the rest to him. The Marquis of Carabas did as his cat advised him. Just as he was bathing the king came past, when the cat bawled out as loud as he could—"Help! help! or the Marquis of Carabas will be drowned!" On hearing this, the king looked out of the carriage window, and recognising the cat, ordered his bodyguards to fly to the assistance of my Lord Marquis of Carabas. As the poor Marquis was being fished out of the river, the cat informed his majesty that, while his master was bathing, some robbers had stolen his clothes. The king immediately ordered the gentlemen of his wardrobe to fetch one of his most sumptuous dresses. No sooner had this been done and the Marquis suitably attired, then he looked to such advantage that the king took him to be a very fine gentleman; while the princess was so struck with his appearance, that at once she became head and ears in love with him.
The king insisted that the Marquis should get into the carriage. The cat, highly delighted at the turn thinks were taking, now ran on before, and having reached a meadow where there were some peasants, he thus accosted them; "I say, good folks, if you do not tell the king that this field belongs to the Marquis of Carabas, you shall all be chopped as fine as mince-meat." The king did not fail to inquire of the peasants to whom the meadow belonged? "To the Marquis of Carabas, please your majesty," said they in a breath.
And the cat kept running on before the carriage, and repeating the same instructions to all the labourers he met with, so that the king was astonished at the vast possessions of the Marquis of Carabas.
At length the cat reached a magnificent castle belonging to a giant who was immensely rich. The cat having inquired what sort of person the giant might be, and what he was able to do, sent in a message to request leave to speak with him.
The giant received him civilly. "I have been told," said the cat, "that you have the power of transforming yourself into all sorts of animals." "So I have," replied the giant, "and to prove the truth of what I say you shall see me become a lion." When the cat beheld a lion standing before him, and saw the monster quietly light his pipe, he was seized with such a panic that he clambered up to the roof. After a time, the cat perceiving that the giant had returned to his natural shape, came down again.
"And do you possess the power of assuming the shape of the smallest animals likewise?" "You shall see;" and the giant immediately assumed the shape of a mouse, when the cat pounced upon him and ate him up.
By this time the king had reached the gates of the Giant's magnificent castle, and expressed a wish to enter so splendid a building. The cat ran out to meet the king, saying—"Your majesty is welcome to the Marquis of Carabas's castle."
The king was so delighted with the Marquis of Carabas, that he accepted him as a son-in-law, and that very same day he was married to the princess.
The cat became a great lord, and ever after hunted mice only for his own amusement.
Monkey And The Cats
Two hungry cats having stolen some cheese, could not agree between themselves how to divide their booty; therefore they went to the law, and a cunning monkey was to decide their case.
"Let us see," said the judge (with as arch a look as could be); "ay, ay, this slice truly outweighs the other;" and with this he bit off a large piece, on order, as he told them, to make a fair balance.
The other scale had now become too heavy, which gave this upright judge a pretence to make free with a second mouthful.
"Hold, hold!" cried the two cats; give each of us our share of what is left and we will be content.
"If you are content," said the monkey, "justice is not; the law, my friends, must have it's course."
Upon this he nibbled first one piece and then the other, till the poor cats, seeing their cheese in a fair way to be all eaten up, most humbly begged him not to put himself to any further trouble, to give them what still remained.
"Ha! ha! ha! not so fast, I beseech you, good ladies," said the monkey; "we owe justice to ourselves as well as to you: and what remains is due to me as the lawyer." Upon this he crammed the whole into his mouth at once, and very gravely broke up the court.
This fable teaches us that it is better to put up with a trifling loss, than to run the risk of losing all we have by going to the law.
Dick Whittington And His Cat
There was once a Lord Mayor of London, whose name was Sir Richard Whittington. He rose to that office from being a poor orphan, living in a distant village. Dick was a sharp boy, and was always picking up knowledge from some of the villagers. Dick heard of the great City of London; he often heard it said that the streets were paved all over with gold.
One day seeing a waggon and team of horses on the road to London; he took courage and asked the waggoner to let him walk by his side. Having gained permission, they set off together. When Dick got to London, he was very eager to see the fine streets paved all over with gold, but the poor boy saw nothing but dirt instead of gold, so he crouched down at the door of one Mr. Fitzwarren, a great merchant. Here he was soon found by an ill-tempered cook, who ordered him to go about his business. But just at this moment Mr. Fitzwarren himself came home, and finding that the poor boy was willing to work, he took him into his house, and said that he should be kept to do what dirty work he was able for the cook. The cook was always scolding him from morning till night, and was very cruel to him. Poor Dick had another hardship. His bed was places in a garret where there were great numbers of rats and mice, which ran over his face, and made a great noise. Dick at last bought a cat which was famous for being an excellent mouser.
Soon after this, the merchant, who had a ship ready to sail, asked his servants if they would send any goods abroad. All the servants mentioned something they were willing to venture but poor Whittington, who said he had nothing but a cat which was his companion.
"Fetch thy cat, boy," said Mr. Fitzwarren, "and let her go." Dick hesitated for some time; at last he brought poor Puss, and delivered her to the captain with tears in his eyes. The cook continued to be so cruel to him that the unhappy fellow determined to leave his place. He accordingly packed up his few things, and travelled as far as Holloway, and there sat down on a stone. While he was there musing, Bow-bells began to ring; and it seemed to him that their sound said:
"Turn again, Whittington, Lord Mayor of London."
So back went Dick, and got into the house before the cook came down stairs.
The ship with Dick's cat on board happened to be driven by contrary winds on a part of the coast of Barbary, inhabited by Moors, who showed great eagerness to purchase the things with which the ship was laden. The captain seeing this, took patterns of the choicest articles he had to the King of the Moors. While he was showing them to him, dinner was brought in, and at once lots of rats and mice came in and ate up all the dainties. The captain was astonished when the King told him that this often happened. The captain rushed off at once to the ship, and brought Puss to the palace. The second dinner had been brought in, and, as usual, in came the rats and mice; Pussy at the sight of them sprang out of the captain's arms and killed lots of them, and the rest ran off to their holes. The King was greatly pleased with the wonderful Puss, and gave two sackfuls of gold for the cat, and the captain at once sailed for London. When Mr. Fitzwarren heard the news, he ordered Dick Whittington to be called, and showed him all the riches which the captain had brought in exchange for his cat. Dick was now a rich man, and soon after married the merchant's daughter, at the very church whose bells seemed to call him back to London. He grew richer and richer, became Sheriff, and at length Lord Mayor of London.
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[Page 157—More Pussy Land]
The White Kitten
My little white kitten's Asleep on my knee; As white as snow Or the lily is she; She wakes up with a purr When I stroke her soft fur; Was there ever another White kitten like her?
My little white kitten Now wants to go out And frolic, with no one To watch her about: "Little kitten," I say, "Just an hour you may stay; And be careful in choosing Your places to play."
But night has come down, And I hear a loud "mew"; I open the door, and my Kitten comes through; My white kitten! ah me! Oh! can it be she— This sad looking beggar-like Cat that I see?
What ugly grey marks On her side and her back! Her nose, once as pink As a rosebud, is black! Oh! I very well know, Though she does not say so, She has been where white kittens Ought never to go.
If little good children Would wish to do right, If little white kittens Would keep themselves white, It is needful that they In their houses should stay, Or be careful in choosing Their places to play.
Pretty little Kitty Sat upon a stile, Sang a little ditty To herself for a while, Watching how the sparrows— Seeking grain to eat— Dart about like arrows In among the wheat.
Pretty little Kitty Liked the birds to see! Though it was a pity They were wild and free. So she stopped her singing— Left the stile forlorn; And went gaily springing In among the corn.
Pretty little Kitty Fond of country things, Cares not for the city Where no birdie sings.
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"Oh, for shame, Baby Cat, Mother's pet Her cupboard at.
"With a spoon Eating Jam Quite ashamed Of you I am.
"If she comes And catches you You'll be punished Rightly too.
"She will send you Straight to bed, With for supper Plain dry bread."
I love little Pussy, Her coat is so warm; And if I don't tease her, She'll do me no harm.
I'll not pull her tail, Nor drive her away, But Pussy and I Very gently will play.
She'll be gentle with me, If I'm gentle with her, And if I speak kindly, I know she will purr.
She shall sit by my side, And I'll give her some food And Pussy will love me Because I am good.
It's true, if I tease her, Her claws she will show; But Pussy knows well That I never do so.
Puss and the Crab
"I wonder," says puss, "If a thing like that Would presume to bite A respectable cat?
'Tis the queerest thing That ever I saw; I'll hit it a slap With my strong forepaw.
No! No! On the whole I had better not; But what curious claws The creature has got!
I'll just step up And quietly ask it How it got out Of that market-basket.
I'll play with the animal, Just to see If it wants to do Any harm to me.
No! I thank I had better Get out of its way, And I surely am safer Not even to play.
For I'll get into trouble, And horribly wail, If that thing with the claws Takes a grip on my tail."
Rev. A. Taylor
Three little pussies, All in a row, Ranged on the table, Two down below.
Five little pussies Dressed all in silk, Waiting for sugar, Waiting for milk.
Dear little pussies, If you would thrive, Breakfast at nine o'clock, Take tea at five.
[Page 159—More Pussy Land]
Puss in the Corner
You are a naughty pussy-cat; I think it right to mention that For all who see your picture here— 'Twas you who broke my bunny dear.
An hour ago, as you can tell, I left him here, alive and well; And now he's dead, and, what is more You've broke his leg, I'm pretty sure.
For you, my puss, I'll never care, No—never, never, never—there! And you are in disgrace, you know, And in the corner you must go.
What, crying? Then I must cry too, And I can't bear to punish you; Perhaps you've only stunned his head.
And though I'm sure you broke his leg, It may be mended with a peg; And though he's very, very funny, My bunny's not a real bunny; And I'll forgive and tell you that You are my precious pussy-cat.
Tabby was a kitten, Tabby was a thief. Tabby tried to steal the cream, And so she came to grief.
Jumping on the table (Nobody was nigh), On the pretty cream-jug Tabby cast her eye:
Wondered what was in it; Thought she'd like to see; Crept a little nearer, Slyly as could be.
Cream was very low down; Jug was very high; "Must have some," said Tabby. "Even if I die!"
Then into the cream-jug Popped her naughty nose; Just what happened after, Only Tabby knows.
This is how we found her, Naughty little cat! Did she get a whipping, Think you, after that?
Tabby was a kitten, Tabby was a thief, Tabby tried to steal the cream, And so she came to grief.
Don't hurt the poor old cat, There can be no fun in that; And it would be cruel too— She never tried to injure you.
She, for years, has kept the house Free from thievish rat and mouse; Puss has always faithful been, And has kept herself so clean.
True, she now is getting old, Though she once was strong and bold; At her prey she cannot leap, And, if caught, can scarcely keep.
Poor old puss! 'Twould be a shame Thee for uselessness to blame; When though canst not active be— Useless through infirmity.
In the Park
I'm a rich little kitten: I live at my ease,
I keep my own carriage, I go where I please;
My turn-out is stylish, I nothing neglect,
And often I notice That all recollect
That a rich little kitten Deserves much respect.
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The Dead Kitten
Don't talk to me of parties, Nan; I really cannot go; When folks are in affliction They don't go out, you know. I have a new brown sash, too; It seems a pity—eh? That such a dreadful trial Should have come just yesterday!
The play-house blinds are all pulled down As dark as it can be; It looks so very solemn And so proper, don't you see? And I have a piece of crape Pinned on my dolly's hat, Tom says it is ridiculous For only just a cat.
But boys are all so horrid! They always, every one, Delight in teasing little girls And kitties, "just for fun." The way he used to pull her tail— It makes me angry now— And scat her up the cherry tree, To make the darling "meow!"
I've had her all the summer. One day, away last spring, I heard a frightful barking, And I saw the little thing In the corner of a fence; 'T would have made you laugh outright To see how every hair stood out, And how she tried to fight.
I shooed the dog away, And she jumped upon my arm; The pretty creature knew I wouldn't do her any harm; I hugged her close, and carried her To mamma, and she said She should be my own wee kitty, If I'd see that she was fed.
A cunning little dot she was, With silky, soft, grey fur; She'd lie for hours on my lap, And I could hear her purr; And then she'd frolic after When I pulled a string about, Or try to catch her tail, Or roll a marble in and out.
Such comfort she has been to me I'm sure no one could tell, Unless some other little girl Who loves her pussy well. I've heard about a Maltese cross; But my dear little kit Was always sweet and amiable, And never cross a bit!
But oh, last week I missed her! I hunted all around; My darling little pussy-cat Was nowhere to be found. I knelt and whispered softly, When nobody could see: "Take care of little kitty, please, And bring her back to me."
I found her lying yesterday Behind the lower shed; I thought my heart was broken When I found that she was dead. Tom promised me another one; But even he can see No other kitty ever will be Just the same to me.
I can't go to your party, Nannie, Maccaroons, you say? And ice-cream? I know I ought to try and not give way; And I feel it would be doing wrong To disappoint you so. Well, if I'm equal to it By to-morrow, I may go!
The Monkey and the Nuts
A monkey, being fond of nuts, Thought he would have some roasted; But how was he to get them done, Not liking to be toasted? A poor young cat was passing by, And innocently watches; The wicked monkey saw her stop, And at his victim snatches.
"Dear pussy, you are just the one That I've been looking out for; How beautiful you look to-day, But tell me what you pout for! Upon my word I long have had For you a fond affection; Now you shall stay and dine with me, Or take some slight refection."
"Twas no use for poor puss to speak, Or offer to deny him, The monkey had her in his grasp, And she could not deny him. So he began to laugh and chat, And show a few grimaces; Oh! if you had but seen, like me, The contrast of their faces.
He put some nuts into her paw, And he the fire approaches, As if a salamander she. Or made of young cockroaches. The poor cat now began to squall, Her face the fire attacking; And sadly too, her paw was burnt, The while the nuts were cracking.
The monkey having feasted well Began to snarl and grumble, That he should be so taken in With nuts he scarce could mumble. "Dear me," he said, "how they are burnt," And at poor pussy looking, "I cannot think how I could bear Such miserable cooking.
And what a fuss you make about A little bit of warning; I've often done the thing myself— There's nothing so alarming. Now take this for yourself," he said, "And next time be less squalling:" Then gave the cat a hearty cuff, Which sent the poor thing sprawling.
"Now let me give you this advice, For I am one of letters: Leave off your rude, obstreperous way, When you are with your betters. And think yourself well off," he said, "That I had mercy on you; For many would have sent you home Without a dress upon you."
Mrs. W. Taylor
[Page 161—More Pussy Land]
My Own Puss
I wish you could just see my cat: She's a darling, there's no doubt of that: So soft, and so sleek, and so fat.
Her eyes are a beautiful green, The brightest that ever were seen: Of cats she is truly the queen.
She loves to lie stretched in the sun But as soon as my lessons are done, She is ready for frolic and fun.
My kitty has two sets of claws, Tucked away in those velvety paws: She can use them, too, when there is cause.
I cannot thin what I should do, If, my pussy, I ever lost you: We're so happy together, we two!
I call her my bundle of fur: Hark! now she's beginning to purr: Kit loves me, and oh, I love her!
The Frolicsome Kitten
Dear kitten, do lie still, I say, How much I want you to be quiet, Instead of scampering away, And always making such a riot.
There, only see! you've torn my frock, And poor mamma must put a patch in; I'll give you a right earnest knock, To cure you of this trick of scratching.
Nay, do not scold your little cat, She does not know what 'tis you're saying; And every time you give a pat, She thinks you mean it all for playing.
But if your pussy understood The lesson that you want to teach her, And did not choose to be so good, She'd be, indeed, a naughty creature.
Putting Kitty to Bed
Kitty, Kitty, go to sleep, Shut your eyes, and don't you peep. Sing with me your little song, We will not make it very long.
Hurry Kitty for to see Mamma soon will come for me, And I must see you safe in bed All covered up except your head.
And while I rock you in my chair, You must purr your little prayer, Altho' you say it soft an low, 'Twill all be just the same you know.
Mamma makes me bend my knee, But Kitty dear, you can't, you see, For you're too little yet to try— See! I'm so big, and tall, and high.
And then you can't say any words, No more than chicks, or little birds. But I've heard the Bible tell That even birds are cared for well.
M. E. S.
[Page 162—Doggy Land]
Old Mother Hubbard and Her Dog
Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard To get her poor Dog a bone; But when she got there The cupboard was bare, And so the poor Dog had none.
She went to the baker's To buy him some bread, And when she came back The poor Dog looked dead.
She went to the joiner's To buy him a coffin, But when she came back The poor Dog was laughing.
She took a clean dish To get him some tripe, But when she came back He was smoking a pipe.
She went to the ale-house To get him some beer, But when she came back The Dog sat on a chair.
She went to the hatter's To buy him a hat, But when she came back He was feeding the cat.
She went to the barber's To buy him a wig, But when she came back He was dancing a jig.
She went to the fruiterer's To buy him some fruit, But when she came back He was playing the flute.
She went to the tailor's, To buy him a coat, But when she came back He was riding a goat.
She went to the seamstress To buy him some linen, But when she came back The Dog was a-spinning.
She went to the hosier's To buy him some hose, But when she came back He was dressed in his clothes.
She went to the cobbler's To buy him some shoes, But when she came back He was reading the news.
She went to the hotel To get him some ale, But when she came back, He was wagging his tail.
She went to the tavern For white wine and red, But when she came back The Dog stood on his head.
The dame made a curtsey, The Dog made a bow; The dame said "Your servant," The Dog said "Bow-wow."
This wonderful Dog Was Dame Hubbard's delight; He could sing, he could dance, He could read, he could write.
She went to Cole's Book Arcade To buy him a book, And when she came back He at once took a look.
She went to Cole's Book Arcade To buy him book two, And when she came back He was tying his shoe.
She went to Cole's Book Arcade To buy him book three, And when she came back He getting his tea.
She went to Cole's Book Arcade To buy him book four, And when she came back He sat at the door.
She went to Cole's Book Arcade To buy him book five, And when she came back He was out for a drive.
She went to Cole's Book Arcade To buy him book six And when she came back He was picking up sticks.
She went to Cole's Book Arcade To buy him book seven, And when she came back He was brewing some leaven.
She went to Cole's Book Arcade To buy him book eight, And when she came back He was baking a cake.
She went to Cole's Book Arcade To buy him book nine, And when she came back He said it was fine.
She went to Cole's Book Arcade To buy him book ten, And when she came back He took it an then
She went to Cole's Book Arcade To buy him book eleven, And when she came back He had gone up to heaven.
To Parents And Schoolmasters
I have been blamed for printing and distributing "Mother Hubbard." My answer is:—"Old Mother Hubbard" has done more towards the education of young children than perhaps any piece of reading in existence. Amongst the hundreds of millions of English speaking people in all parts of the earth, there are very few but can repeat a part or the whole of "Mother Hubbard," and I have seen it somewhat asserted that it is to be found in almost every home in the civilised world. Its rude style of poetry tells nothing against it. The child knows nothing of correct metre: as long as there is a jingling rhyme it is satisfied. The dog is the domestic animal in millions of families, and in numberless cases is actually a more loved companion then brothers and sisters. A simple rhyme, therefore, about this attached, playful, and constant companion is sure to fascinate the young, and it has fascinated more than a thousand millions of the little dears. I firmly believe that it would produce grand results if a pretty illustrated edition of the principal nursery rhymes were made a text-book in infant schools. You may try, and try, and try again, to drive an ordinary dry school-book lesson into the infant mind, and make very little progress—it is up-hill work. But take an illustrated edition of a nursery rhyme, say the "Death of Cock Robin," or "Mother Hubbard," and call the little one to you, begin to teach it—how eagerly, how intently does it begin to learn now! What animation in its little eyes! What music in its little, joyous, interested voice! It learns this lesson ten times as fast as the other one, and gives you ten times the pleasure in teaching it, and this kind of teaching gradually and insensibly leads the child into a love of learning: it interests and sets the young inquiring mind at work. We all know how much easier it is to do a work we are interested in than a work we are not. It is just so with the child, and for that reason I would commence to teach the infant mind with that which pleased it best, and so gradually create a love for reading. For years I have allowed numbers of little children, of their own accord, to stand and read nursery rhymes to themselves, and to teach other youths to read interesting and instructive fiction, gratis, in the Book Arcade; and I hold that, by its enticingly creating a love for reading, which will lead to something higher, time is one of the best and most effective schools in the country.
—E. W. Cole
[Page 163—Doggy Land]
Tom Tinker's Dog
Bow, wow, wow, whose dog art tho? I'm Tom Tinker's dog, and I'll bite you.
There was an Old Man of Leghorn, The smallest as ever was born; But quickly snapt up he Was once by a puppy, Who devoured that Old Man of Leghorn.
The cat sat asleep by the side of the fire, The mistress snored loud as a pig; Jack took up his fiddle by doggy's desire, And struck up a bit of a jig.
Hark, the Dogs bark
Hark, hark, the dogs do bark, Beggars are coming to town; Some in jags, some in rags, And some in velvet gown.
Poor Dog Bright
Poor dog Bright Ran off with all his might, Because the cat was after him: Poor dog Bright.
Dog Blue Bell
I had a little dog, and his name was Blue Bell, I gave him some work, and he did it very well; I sent him up stairs to pick up a pin, He stepped into the coal-scuttle up to the chin; I sent him to the garden to pick some sage, He tumbled down and fell in a rage; I sent him to the cellar to draw a pot of beer, He came up again and said there was none there.
Little Dog Buff
I had a little Dog, and they called him buff, I sent him to the shop for a hap'orth of snuff; But he lost the bag and spilled the snuff. So take that cuff, and that's enough.
Dog Burnt his Tail
Ding, dong, darrow, The cat and the sparrow; The little dog has burnt his tail, And he shall be hang'd to-morrow.
Thievish dog Fan
Thievish dog Fan, to yell aloud began, She burnt her mouth through stealing tripe: Thievish dog Fan.
The Quarrelsome Dogs
Old Tray and rough Growler are having a fight, So let us get out of their way; They snarl, and they growl, and they bite, Oh dear, what a terrible fray!
Good Little Dog
I will not hurt my little dog, But stroke and pat his head; I like to see him wag his tail, I like to see him fed.
Poor little thing, how very good, And very useful too. For don't you know that he will mind What he is bid to do?
Then I will never hurt my dog, Nor ever give him pain; But treat him kindly every day, And he'll love me again.
Puss And Rover
Our Pussy she is white, Our Rover he is black, And yet he licks Pussy's face While she stands on his back.
Our Pussy she is little, Our Rover he is big, And yet he likes the Pussy Much better than the pig.
Our Pussy she is young, And Rover he is old, And yet he likes the Pussy More than tons of gold.
Our Pussy she is good, And so is Rover too, So Pussy says, "Ta, ta." "Good-bye," And Rover says "Adieu."
Don't Tease Dogs
Foolish Edward runs away, From the large dog with the bone; If we do not tease or chide, Dogs will leave us quite alone.
No Breakfast for Growler
No, naughty Growler, get away, You shall not have a bit; Now when I speak, how dare you stay? I can't spare any, Sir, I say, And so you need not sit.
Poor Growler! do not make him go, But recollect, before, That he has never served you so, For you have given him many a blow, That patiently he bore.
Poor growler! if he could but speak, He'd tell (as well as he might) How he would bear with many a freak, And wag his tail, and look so meek, And neither bark nor bite.
Upon his back he lets you ride, All round and round the yard; And now, while sitting by your side, To have a bit of bread denied, Is really very hard.
And all your little tricks he'll bear, And never seem to mind; And yet you say you cannot spare One bit of breakfast for his share, Although he is so kind.
Good Dog Tray
Good Dog Tray Watched Tommy t'other day, In the garden fast asleep: Good Dog Tray.
Poor Old Tray
See, here is poor old Tray; Good dog to run so fast, To meet my sister May and me, Now school is o'er at last.
Oh! how I love you, Tray, You are so kind to me; You run beside me in my walks, You sit by me at tea.
'Tis true that I give you bits Of cake and bread and meat; But I'm sure you'd love as well If you had nought to eat.
For faithful, true, and kind Is our old darling Tray; He guards our dwelling all the night, And plays with us by day.
Doggy minds the House
"Come hither, little puppy dog, I'll give you a nice new collar, If you will learn to read your book And be a clever scholar."
"No, no!" replied the puppy dog, "I've other fish to fry, "For I must learn to guard your house, And bark when thieves come nigh."
[Page 164—Goat Land]
O'Grady lived in shanty row, The neighbours often said They wished that Tim would move away Or that his goat was dead. He kept the neighbourhood in fear, And the children always vexed; They couldn't tell jist whin or where The goat would pop up nexht.
Ould Missis Casey stood wan day The dirty clothes to rub Upon the washboard, when she dived Head foremost o'er the tub; She lit upon her back an' yelled, As she was lying flat: "Go git your goon an' kill the bashte." O'Grady's goat did that.
Pat Doolan's woife hung out the wash, Upon the line to dry. She wint to take it in at night, But stopped to have a cry. The sleeves av two red flannel shirts, Tat once was worn by Pat, Were chewed off almost to the neck. O'Grady's goat doon that.
They had a party at McCune's, And they were having foon, Whin suddinly there was a crash An' ivrybody roon. The iseter soup fell on the floor An' nearly drowned the cat; The stove was knocked to smithereens. O'Grady's goat doon that.
O'Hoolerhan brought home a keg Ave dannymite wan day To blow a cistern in his yard An' hid the stuff away. But suddinly an airthquake coom, O'Hoolerhan, house an' hat, And ivrything in sight wint up, O'Grady's goat doon that.
Will S. Hays
The Goat and the Swing
A little story with a moral For the young folks who are prone to quarrel. Old folks are wise, and do not need it, Of course they, therefore, will not read it.
A vicious goat, one day, had found His way into forbidden ground When coming to the garden-swing, He spied a most prodigious thing,— A ram, a monster, to his mind, With head before and head behind!
Its shape was odd—no hoofs were seen, But, without legs, it stood between Two uprights, lofty posts of oak, With forehead ready for a stroke.
Though but a harmless ornament Carved of the seat, it seemed intent On barring the intruder's way; While he, advancing, seemed to say, "Who is this surly fellow here, Two heads, no tail—it's mighty queer! A most insulting countenance!"
With stamp of foot and angry glance He curbed he threatening neck and stood Before the passive thing of wood. "You winked as I was going by! You did not? What! tell me I lie? Take that!" And at the swing he sprung.
A sounding thump! It backward swung, And set in motion by the blow, Swayed menacingly to and fro. "Ha! you will fight! A quarrelsome chap, I knew you were! You'll get a rap! I'll crack your skull!" A headlong jump; Another and a louder bump!
The swing, as with kindling wrath, Came rushing back along the path. The goat, astonished, shook his head, Winked hard, turned round, grew mad, and said, "Villain! I'll teach you who I am!" (Or seemed to say,)—"you rascal ram, To pick a fight with me, when I So quietly am passing by! Your head or mine!" A thundering stroke— The cracking horns met crashing oak!
Then came a dull and muffled sound, And something rolled along the ground, Got up, looked sad—appeared to say, "Your head's too hard!"—and limped away Quite humbly, in a rumpled coat— A dustier and a wiser goat!
J. T. Throwbridge
[Page 165—Monkey Land]
The Adventures of Meddlesome "Jacko"
These pictures we hope Will our little folks please, And also to each one This moral convey: "Be contented and happy, Whatever your lot, And don't try, as some do, To have your own way."
Master Jacko, you see, Had a very snug home, With plenty to eat That was wholesome and good; But still he did not, We are sorry to say, Behave in a way That a pet monkey should.