Hegio, vide sis, ne quid tu huic temere insistas credere. atque, ut perspicio, profecto iam aliquid pugnae edidit. filium tuom quod redimere se ait, id ne utiquam mini placet.
Hegio, I beg you take care not to go on with your rash confidence in this fellow. And for that matter, he's certainly given you a fall or two already, I take it. This talk of his about rescuing your son doesn't please me at all.
Scio te id nolle fieri; efficiam tamen ego id, si di adiuvant. illum restituam huic, hic autem in Alidem me meo patri. propterea ad patrem hinc amisi Tyndarum.
(with an appealing look) I know you don't want it done; but I'll bring it about, God helping me. (slowly) I will restore his son to this gentleman, and then this gentleman will send me back to Elis to my father. That was why I sent Tyndarus off to my father.
Quin tute is es: neque praeter te in Alide ullus servos istoc nominest. 590
Why, you're Tyndarus yourself: and besides you there's not a slave in Elis of that name.
Pergin servom me exprobrare esse, id quod vi hostili optigit?
Still taunting me with being a slave, eh? A slave as it happens, because the enemy were too much for us!
Enim iam nequeo contineri.
(angrily) I positively can't control myself any longer!
Heus, audin quid ait? quin fugis? iam illic his nos insectabit lapidibus, nisi illunc iubes comprehendi.
(apparently alarmed, to Hegio) Aha! Hear what he's saying? Run, why don't you? He'll be after us with stones in a minute, if you don't have him seized.
Oh, this is driving me wild!
Ardent oculi: fit opus, Hegio; viden tu illi maculari corpus totum maculis luridis? atra bilis agitat hominem.
His eyes are blazing! He's having one, Hegio! See how his whole body is covered with lurid spots? It's black fury that's tormenting the fellow!
At pol te, si hic sapiat senex, pix atra agitet apud carnificem tuoque capiti inluceat.
Now, by the Lord, if this old gentleman did the wise thing, it's black pitch that would torment you at the executioner's, and light up that head of yours!
Iam deliramenta loquitur, laruae stimulant virum. hercle qui, si hunc comprehendi iusseris, sapias magis.
Now he's got to the raving point! Evil spirits are hounding the man, Hegio. Heavens! You'd do more wisely to have him seized!
Crucior, lapidem non habere me, ut illi mastigiae 600 cerebrum excutiam, qui me insanum verbis concinnat suis.
Oh, damnation! not to have a stone to knock out the brains of this blackguard that's driving me mad with his talk!
Audin lapidem quaeritare?
Hear that—looking for a stone!
Solus te solum volo, Hegio.
(struggling to contain himself) Hegio, I want a word with you all alone.
Instinc loquere, si quid vis, procul tamen audiam.
(timorously) Say it from there, if there's anything you want—from away off there. I shall hear it all the same.
Namque edepol si adbites propius, os denasabit tibi mordicus.
That's right, by Jove! for if you go any nearer, he'll bite your nose off.
Neque pol me insanum, Hegio, esse creduis neque fuisse umquam, neque esse morbum quem istic autumat. verum si quid metuis a me, iube me vinciri: volo, dum istic itidem vinciatur.
Heavens and earth, Hegio! don't believe I'm insane, or that I have, or ever had, the disease he's talking about. However, if you're at all afraid of me, have me tied up. I am willing, provided that fellow is tied up too.
Immo enim vero, Hegio, istic, qui volt, vinciatur.
No indeed, Hegio, certainly not, tie up the fellow that wants it.
Tace modo. ego te, Philocrates false, faciam ut verus hodie reperiare Tyndarus. 610 quid mi abnutas?
You keep still, now! I'll soon show you up, you false Philocrates, for the real Tyndarus. (Tyndarus makes signs to him behind Hegio's back) What, are you shaking your head at me for?
Tibi ego abnuto?
I shaking my head at you?
Quid agat, si absis longius?
(to Hegio) What would he do, if you were farther off?
Quid ais? quid si adeam hunc insanum?
See here, what if I should step up to this lunatic?
Nugas. ludificabitur, garriet quoi neque pes umquam neque caput compareat. ornamenta absunt: Aiacem, hunc cum vides, ipsum vides.
Ridiculous! He'll make a fool of you, jabbering something without head or tail to it. Look at this fellow, and you're looking at a regular Ajax[F]—all but the make-up.
[Footnote F: Another madman of Greek mythology.]
Nihili facio. tamen adibo.
I don't care. I'm going to step up to him just the same. (approaches Aristophontes hesitantly)
Nunc ego omnino occidi, nunc ego inter sacrum saxumque sto, nec quid faciam scio.
(aside) Now I'm done for entirely. Now I'm between the axe and the altar, and what to do I don't know.
Do tibi operam, Aristophontes, si quid est quod me velis.
I'm at your service, Aristophontes, if there's anything you want of me.
Ex me audibis vera quae nunc falsa opinare, Hegio. sed hoc primum, me expurigare tibi volo. me insaniam 620 neque tenere neque mi esse ullum morbum, nisi quod servio. at ita me rex deorum atque hominum faxit patriae compotem, ut istic Philocrates non magis est quam aut ego aut tu.
I'll show you, Hegio, that all this you take for a lie is the truth. But first I want to clear myself with you, and assure you that I am not insane, and have no affliction except captivity. And now,—(solemnly) so may the King of heaven and earth restore me to my native land,—that fellow is no more Philocrates than you or I.
Eho dic mihi, quis illic igitur est?
(impressed) Hey? Tell me, who is he then?
Quem dudum dixi a principio tibi. hoc si secus reperies, nullam causam dico quin mihi et parentum et libertatis apud te deliquio siet.
The man I told you he was to begin with, a while ago. If you find it otherwise, I make no objection to forfeiting my parents and my liberty and staying here with you.
Quid tu ais?
(to Tyndarus) And you—what have you to say?
Me tuom esse servom et te meum erum.
(urbanely) That I am your servant, and that you are my master.
Haud istuc rogo. fuistin liber?
(impatiently) That isn't what I'm asking about. Were you a freeman?
Enim vero non fuit, nugas agit.
He certainly was not. Absurd!
Qui tu scis? an tu fortasse fuisti meae matri obstetrix, qui id tam audacter dicere audes?
(superciliously) How do you know? Or were you my mother's midwife, perhaps, that you venture to speak with such assurance on this point?
Puerum te vidi puer. 630
I saw you when we were both boys.
At ego te video maior maiorem: em rursum tibi. meam rem non cures, si recte facis. num ego curo tuam?
Well, I see you now we are both grown-ups. There's one for you! You wouldn't meddle with my business, if you behaved decently. I don't meddle with yours, do I?
Fuitne huic pater Thensaurochrysonicochrysides?
Wasn't his father called Ducatsdoubloonsandpiecesofeightson?
Non fuit, neque ego istuc nomen umquam audivi ante hunc diem Philocrati Theodoromedes fuit pater.
No sir, he was not, and I never heard that name before to-day. The father of Philocrates was Theodoromedes.
Pereo probe quin quiescis? idie rectum cor meum, ac suspende te. tu sussultas, ego miser vix asto prae formidine.
(aside, dryly) I'm jolly well done for. Stop your noise, will you, heart? Go to the deuce, and be hanged to you! Jumping up and down, while I, poor devil, can hardly stand for fear!
Satin istuc mihi exquisitum est, fuisse hunc servom in Alide neque esse hunc Philocratem?
Am I to take it as absolutely clear that this fellow was a slave in Elis, that he is not Philocrates?
Tam satis quam numquam hoc invenies secus. sed ubi is nunc est?
So absolutely that you'll never find it to be anything different. But where is Philocrates at present?
Ubi ego mimime atque ipsus se volt maxume 640 sed vide sis.
(savagely) Where I least want him, and he most wants to be. Do, do, see if there's not some mistake, though.
Quin exploratum dico et provisum hoc tibi.
No, I'm sure of my ground and fully informed in what I tell you.
Quin nihil, inquam, invenies magis hoc certo certus. Philocrates iam inde usque amicus fuit mihi a puero puer.
You'll never find a deader certainty than this, I assure you. Philocrates has been a friend of mine ever since he was a boy.
Tum igitur ego deruncinatus, deartuatus sum miser huius scelesti techinis, qui me ut lubitum est ductavit dolis sed qua faciest tuos sodalis Philocrates?
So then, I've been trimmed, torn limb from limb, poor fool, by the arts of this rogue, who's taken me in with his tricks to suit his taste! But what does your friend Philocrates look like?
Dicam tibi macilento ore, naso acuto, corpore albo, oculis nigris, subrufus aliquantum, crispus, cincinnatus.
I'll tell you—thin face, sharp nose, complexion fair, black eyes, hair a little reddish, waving, and curled.
Ut quidem hercle in medium ego hodie pessume processerim. vae illis virgis miseris, quae hodie in tergo morientur meo. 650
(aside ruefully) Gad! Indeed it does—with my coming into damned unpleasant prominence this day. Alas for those poor whips that are doomed this day to die upon my back!
Verba mihi data esse video.
I see I've been duped!
Quid cessatis, compedes, currere ad me meaque amplecti crura, ut vos custodiam?
(aside) Come on, ye shackles, run up and embrace my shanks, so that I may keep you safe!
Satin med illi hodie scelesti capti ceperunt dolo? illic servom se assimulabat, hic sese autem liberum. nuculeum amisi, retinui pignori putamina. ita mihi stolido sursum versum os sublevere offuciis. his quidem me numquam irridebit. Colaphe, Cordalio, Corax, ite istinc, ecferte lora.
Well, haven't those rascal captives taken me in with this day's trickery? The other one pretended he was the slave, while this fellow here played the freeman. I've lost the kernel and kept the shell for surety. That's the way they've daubed my face up for me, ass that I am! (grimly) This one shall never have the laugh on me, at any rate. (stepping to door and calling) Box! Buffum! Bangs! Come! Out with you! Bring your straps!
ENTER OVERSEERS, CARRYING HEAVY RAWHIDES.
Num lignatum mittimur?
(merrily cracking a whip) You don't want us to go and tie up faggots, do you, sir?
Inicite huic manicas mastigiae.
Clap handcuffs on this rogue. (pointing to Tyndarus)
Quid hoc est negoti? quid ego deliqui?
(as they obey) What does this mean? What have I done?
Rogas. 660 sator sartorque scelerum, et messor maxume?
Done! You sower and hoer of sin—(more savagely) and reaper, especially!
Non occatorem dicere audebas prius? nam semper occant prius quam sariunt rustici.
(politely) Couldn't you manage to slip in "harrower"? Why, farmers always harrow before they hoe.
At tu confidenter mihi contra astitit.
(angrily) Now look at that! the bold way he stands up to me!
Decet innocentem servom atque innoxium confidentem esse, suom apud erum potissimum.
A guiltless, harmless slave ought to face his own master boldly, his own master, of all men.
Adstringite isti sultis vehementer manus.
(to overseers) Fasten his hands, tight, mind you!
Tuos sum, tu has quidem vel praecidi iube. sed quid negoti est, quam ob rem suscenses mihi?
I am yours. Have them cut off, even, for that matter. But what does this mean? Why this rage at me?
Quia me meamque rem, quod in te uno fuit, 670 tuis scelestis falsidicis fallaciis deartuasti dilaceravisti atque opes confecisti omnes, res ac rationes meas: ita mi exemisti Philocratem fallaciis. illum esse servom credidi, te liberum: ita vosmet aiebatis itaque nomina inter vos permutastis.
Because as far as in you lay you've sent me and my hopes to smash, demolished me, with your rascally deceitful dodges, and spoiled all my chances, all my prospects and plans. That's the way you, got Philocrates off—by swindling me! I supposed he was the slave and you the freeman; that's what you said yourselves; that's how you exchanged names.
Fateor, omnia facta esse ita ut tu dicis, et fallaciis abiisse eum abs te mea opera atque astutia; an, obsecro hercle te, id nunc suscenses mihi? 680
(coolly) I admit it: it is all as you say—yes, you were swindled out of him, and it was my support and my scheming that did it. But heavens and earth, that isn't what sets you raging at me, is it?
At cum cruciatu maxumo id factumst tuo.
You shall pay for doing it, though, pay for it with your own best blood!
Dum ne ob male facta, peream, parvi aestumo. si ego hic peribo, ast ille ut dixit non redit, at erit mi hoc factum mortuo memorabile, me meum erum captum ex servitute atque hostibus reducem fecisse liberum in patriam ad patrem, meumque potius me caput periculo praeoptavisse, quam is periret, ponere.
(simply) Provided it is not for wrongdoing, let me die—it matters little. If I myself do die here, and if he does fail to return, as he said he would, what I have done, at least, will be remembered when I am gone—men will tell how I saved my captured master from slavery and from his enemies, restored him, a free man, to his home and his father, and how I chose to put my own life in peril rather than let him die.
Facito ergo ut Acherunti clueas gloria.
Well then, you can look in the next world for that glorious name of yours.
Qui per virtutem, periit, at non interit. 690
The man that dies in a worthy cause does not perish utterly.
Quando ego te exemplis pessumis cruciavero atque ob sutelas tuas te morti misero, vel te interiisse vel periisse praedicent; dum pereas, nihil intererit: dicant vivere.
After I've tortured you in the most excruciating ways possible, and sent you to perdition for the lies you've patched up, let 'em announce that you've perished utterly, or that you've merely died; so long as you're dead, no matter—they can say you're living, for all I care.
Pol si istuc faxis, haud sine poena feceris, si ille hue rebitet, sicut confido affore.
You do that, sir, and I swear it will cost you dear, if my master comes back, as I expect him to do.
Pro di immortales, nunc ego teneo, nunc scio quid hoc sit negoti. meus sodalis Philocrates in libertate est ad patrem in patria. bene est, nec quisquam est mihi, aeque melius cui velim. 700 sed hoc mihi aegre est, me huic dedisse operam malam, qui nunc propter me meaque verba vinctus est.
(aside) Great God! Now I see it! Now I understand what it all means! My chum Philocrates is free, has gone home to his father. Good! And not a friend have I got that I wish better luck to, either. But I do feel bad about the cursed way I've treated Tyndarus here! He's got me and my tongue to thank for being strapped up at this moment.
Votuin te quicquam mi hodie falsum proloqui?
Didn't I tell you not to deceive me in the slightest particular?
Cur es ausus mentiri mihi?
Then why did you dare lie to me?
Quia vera obessent illi quoi operam dabam: nunc falsa prosunt.
Because the truth would have harmed the person I was trying to help: as it is, deceit has served his turn.
At tibi oberunt.
It won't serve yours, however.
Optumest. at erum servavi, quem servatum gaudeo. cui me custodem addiderat erus maior meus. sed malene id factum arbitrare?
Very well, sir. I saved my master, at any rate, and I'm happy in having saved the man that my older master put in my care. Really now, do you think this was a wrong act?
At ego aio recte. qui abs te sorsum sentio. 710 nam cogitato, si quis hoc gnato tuo tuos servos faxit, qualem haberes gratiam? emitteresne necne eum servom manu? essetne apud te is servos aceeptissimus? responde.
Well, sir, I differ with you—I say it was right. Why, just think! if a slave of yours did the same thing for your own son, what would be your feeling toward him? Would you set this slave free, or not? Wouldn't this slave be your favourite? Answer me that.
(reluctantly) I suppose so.
Cur ergo iratus mihi es?
Why are you angry at me, then?
Quia illi fuisti quam mihi fidelior.
Because you have been more faithful to him than to me.
Quid? tu una nocte postulavisti et die recens captum hominem, nuperum novicium, te perdocere ut melius consulerem tibi, quam illi, quicum una a puero aetatem exegeram? 720
What? Did you expect in a single night and day to teach a man just recently captured, a slave you had hardly bought, to consult your interests more than those of the master I grew up from boyhood with?
Ergo ab eo petito gratiam istam. ducite, ubi ponderosas crassas capiat compedes. inde ibis porro in latomias lapidarias. ibi quom alii octonos lapides effodiunt, nisi cotidiano sesquiopus confeceris, Sescentoplago nomen indetur tibi.
Well then, look to him for your thanks for it. (to overseers) Off with him and have him shackled—heavy ones, solid ones! (to Tyndarus) After that you shall go straight to the stone quarries. There, while the rest of them are digging out their eight blocks a day, you're to do half as much again, or you'll be dubbed The Cracks-collector.
Per deos atque homines ego te obtestor, Hegio, ne tu istunc hominem perduis.
Hegio! for God's sake don't let the man be utterly lost!
Curabitur; nam noctu nervo vinctus custodibitur, interdius sub terra lapides eximet: 730 diu ego hunc cruciabo, non uno absolvam die.
Lost? We'll see to that! Why, at night he'll be chained up in a cell and guarded, and in the daytime he'll be under ground hewing out stone. It's agony long drawn out he'll get from me; I won't end it for him all in one day.
Certumne est tibi istuc?
(distressed) Is this your fixed intention, sir?
Non moriri certius. abducite istum actutum ad Hippolytum fabrum, iubete huic crassas compedes impingier; inde extra portam ad meum libertum Cordalum in lapicidinas facite deductus siet: atque hunc me velle dicite ita curarier, ne qui deterius huic sit quam cui pessume est.
Fixed as death! (to overseers) Quick! March him off to Hippolytus the blacksmith and have some solid irons forged on him; then he's to be escorted outside the city to my freedman Cordalus and the quarries. Yes, and tell Cordalus I want it seen to that he be treated quite as well as the man that's treated (ferociously) worst.
Cur ego te invito me esse salvom postulem? periclum vitae meae tuo stat periculo. 740 post mortem in morte nihil est quod metuam mali. etsi pervivo usque ad summam aetatem, tamen breve spatium est perferundi quae minitas mihi.
Why should I ask for mercy when you refuse it? My life is risked at risk to you. After death, there is no evil in death for me to fear. And even if I live on and on to the very limits of human life, it's still only for a short time I shall have to endure what you threaten me with.
vale atque salve, etsi aliter ut dicam meres. tu, Aristophontes, de me ut meruisti, ita vale; nam mihi propter te hoc optigit.
Farewell, sir, and God bless you, no matter if you do deserve to have me wish you something else. As for you, Aristophontes, fare you well—as well as you deserve of me; for it is all on account of you that this has happened to me.
(to overseers) Off with him.
At unum hoc quaeso, si huc rebitet Philocrates, ut mi eius facias conveniundi copiam.
But I do ask this one thing of you, sir: if Philocrates comes back, give me a chance to meet him.
Periistis, nisi hunc iam e conspectu abducitis.
(to overseers) Out of my sight with him this instant, or I'll murder you! (they seize Tyndarus and hurry him off roughly)
Vis haec quidem hercle est, et trahi et trudi simul. 750
(dryly) Well, well! This is positive violence, being pushed and pulled at the same time. [EXEUNT.
Illic est abductus recta in phylacam, ut dignus est. ego illis captivis aliis documentum dabo, ne tale quisquam facinus incipere audeat. quod absque hoc esset, qui mihi hoc fecit palam, usque offrenatum suis me ductarent dolis.
That rascal is bound straight for the prison cell he's entitled to. I'll make an example of him for the benefit of those other prisoners, so that none of them will dare engage in such deviltry. If it hadn't been for this fellow here who disclosed it all, they'd have bitted me and led me along with their tricks till the end of time.
nunc certum est nulli posthac quicquam credere. satis sum semel deceptus. speravi miser ex servitute me exemisse filium: ea spes elapsa est. perdidi unum filium, puerum quadrimum quem mihi servos surpuit, 760 neque eum servom umquam repperi neque filium;
Never again do I trust a soul in anything, that's settled. Once cheated is enough. (pauses, then gloomily) I hoped, poor fool, that I had ransomed my son from slavery—a hope that's slipped away! I lost one son, a four-year-old boy that a slave kidnapped, and never a trace of slave or son since.
maior potitus hostium est. quod hoc est scelus? quasi in orbitatem liberos produxerim. sequere hac. reducam te ubi fuisti. neminis miserere certum est, quia mei miseret neminem.
And my older boy in the hands of enemies! What curse am I under? As if I'd begotten children so as to be left childless! (to Aristophontes) This way, you. (going toward brother's house) Back you go where you were before. I am determined to pity no one, since no one pities me.
Exauspicavi ex vinclis. nunc intellego redauspicandum esse in catenas denuo.
(wryly) It seemed a good omen, my getting out of irons. Now I perceive I must omen myself back to chains again. [EXEUNT.
(It is to be assumed that several hours only have elapsed.)
ENTER Ergasilus, ELATED.
Iuppiter supreme, servas me measque auges opes, maximas opimitates opiparasque offers mihi, laudem lucrum, ludum iocum, festivitatem ferias, 770 pompam penum, potationis saturitatem, gaudium, nec cuiquam homini supplicare nunc certum est mihi; nam vel prodesse amico possum vel inimicum perdere, ita hic me amoenitate amoena amoenus oneravit dies, sine sacris hereditatem sum aptus effertissimam.
Great God on high, thou dost preserve me and prosper me with fatness! Boundless abundance, yea, sublime abundance dost thou bring me! Praise, profit, pleasure, jollity, festivity, feasting, trains of victuals, eatables, drinkables, satiety, joy! Never will I toady to human being more, I now resolve it. Why, I can bless my friend or blast my foe, now that this delightful day has loaded me down with its delightful delightfulness! I've landed a legacy stuffed fit to burst, and not a single encumbrance attached!
nunc ad senem cursum capessam hunc Hegionem, cui boni tantum affero quantum ipsus a dis optat, atque etiam amplius. nunc certa res est, eodem pacto ut comici servi solent. coniciam in collum pallium, primo ex med hanc rem ut audiat: speroque me ob hunc nuntium aeternum adepturum cibum. 780
Now for a race up to old Hegio here. I'm bringing him all the happiness he craves of Heaven, yes, and more, too. I know what I'll do now: like slaves in the comedies, I'll bundle my cloak round my neck and run, so that I'll be the first man he hears this news from; and I hope to get food for ever and ever for my information.
Quanto in pectore hanc rem meo magis volato, tanto mi aegritudo auctior est in animo. ad illum modum sublitum os esse mi hodie! neque id perspicere quivi. quod cum scibitur, tum per urbem inridebor.
(soliloquizing moodily) The more I think it over, the sourer I feel. The idea of their playing upon me in that style to-day! And I couldn't see through it. When it gets known, I shall be the joke of the town.
cum extemplo ad forum advenero, omnes loquentur: "hic illest senex doctus, quoi verba data sunt." sed Ergasilus estne his, procul quem video? conlecto quidem est pallio. quidnam acturust?
The moment I appear at the forum they'll all be saying, "Here comes that smart old fellow that got humbugged." (observing Ergasilus) But isn't that Ergasilus I see over there? With his cloak all tucked up, too! Now what in the world is he going to do? (steps aside)
Move aps te moram atque, Ergasile, age hanc rem. 790 eminor interminorque, ne mi obstiterit obviam nisi quis satis diu vixisse sese homo arbitrabitur. nam qui obstiterit, ore sistet.
(with burlesque importance and bustle) No dawdling now, Ergasilus! At it, my boy, at it! I give you to wit by all the law's pains and penalties that no man stand in my way, unless he thinks he has lived long enough. For the man that does stand in my way shall stand on his head. (squares off and delivers lusty blows at imaginary passers-by)
Hic homo pugilatum incipit.
(aside) The fellow is going in for a boxing match!
Facere certumst. proinde ita omnes itinera insistant sua, ne quis in hanc plateam negoti conferat quicquam sui. nam meus est ballista pugnus, cubitus catapultast mihi, umerus aries, tum genu quemque icero ad terram dabo, dentilegos omnes mortales faciam, quemque offendero.
I'll do it, I'm resolved. So everybody keep where they belong, and don't anyone bring his business into this street! I tell you what, my fist is a siege-gun, and this forearm is my catapult, and my shoulder is a battering ram, yes, and every man I lay my knee into will bite the earth. I'll make every man I meet a tooth-collector.
Quae illaec eminatiost nam? nequeo mirari satis.
(aside) What on earth does all this bluster mean? Quite unaccountable!
Faciam ut huius diei locique meique semper meminerit. 800
I'll make him remember this day and this place and me for ever.
Quid hic homo tantum incipissit facere cum tantis minis? (802)
(aside) What giant undertaking is the fellow at, with all this big talk?
Prius edico, ne quis propter culpam capiatur suam: continete vos domi, prohibete a vobis vim meam.
I give you due notice, that no one may come to grief through his own ignorance of the law: stay at home: keep away from me—I am a violent man.
Mira edepol sunt, ni hic in ventrem sumpsit confidentiam. vae misero illi, cuius cibo iste factust imperiosior.
(aside) Bless my soul! I'll be sworn he's got some assurance put into his inside. Heaven help the poor wretch whose larder has set him up so!
Tum pistores scrofipasci, qui alunt furfuribus sues, quarum odore praeterire nemo pistrinum potest: eorum si quoiusquam scrofam in publico conspexero, ex ipsis dominis meis pugnis exculcabo furfures. 810
And as for the millers that keep sows, and feed waste stuff to their swine, that raise such a stench nobody can go by the mill,—if I spy a sow of any one of 'em on the public highway, I'll up with my fists and stamp the stuffing out of those sows'—owners.
Basilicas edictiones atque imperiosas habet: satur homost, habet profecto in ventre confidentiam.
(aside) Right royal and imperious pronunciamentos. The man is gorged: he certainly has got some assurance stowed away inside.
Tum piscatores, qui praebent populo pisces foetidos, qui advehuntur quadrupedanti crucianti cantherio, quorum odos subbasilicanos omnes abigit in forum, eis ego ora verberabo surpiculis piscariis, ut sciant, alieno naso quam exhibeant molestiam.
Then the fishmongers that travel around on a jogging, jolting gelding, and offer folk stale fish so strong it drives every last lounger in the arcade out into the forum— I'll whack their faces with their own fish baskets, just to teach 'em what an abomination they are to the public nose.
tum lanii autem, qui concinnant liberis orbas oves, qui locant caedundos agnos et duplam agninam danunt, qui petroni nomen indunt verveci sectario, 820 eum ego si in via petronem publica conspexero et petronem et dominum reddam mortales miserrumos.
Yes, and the butchers, too, that bereave sheep of their little ones, that engage to sell you lambs fit for slaughter, and then give you lamb as old as two lambs, and pass off a tough old ram as a prime wether—if I spy that ram on a city thoroughfare, I'll make ram and owner the saddest men alive!
Eugepae, edictiones aedilicias hic quidem habet, mirumque adeost ni hunc fecere sibi Aetoli agoranomum.
(aside) Splendid! Why, he is issuing edicts like a Comptroller of the Victualling: I shouldn't be surprised if the Aetolians have made him market inspector.
Non ego nunc parasitus sum, sed regum rex regalior, tantus ventri commeatus meo adest in portu cibus sed ego cesso hunc Hegionem onerare laetitia senem, quo homine hominum adaeque nemo vivit fortunatior?
I'm no parasite now, not I! I'm a precious potent potentate of potentates, with all that invoice at the harbour for my belly—food, food! But I must hurry and load old Hegio here with ecstasy. There's not a luckier man alive than he!
Quae illaec est laetitia, quam illic laetus largitur mihi?
(aside) What ecstasy is it this ecstatic creature is going to lavish on me?
Heus ubi estis? ecquis hic est? ecquis hoc aperit ostium? 830
(pounding on Hegio's door) Hi! Where are you? Anybody here? Anybody going to open this door?
Hic homo ad cenam recipit se ad me.
(aside) The fellow is coming to dine with me.
Aperite hasce ambas fores prius quam pultando assulatim foribus exitium adfero.
Open this door—both doors—before I knock 'em to flinders and finish 'em for good and all!
Perlubet hunc hominem colloqui. Ergasile.
(aside) I should quite enjoy a word with him. (aloud) Ergasilus!
Ergasilum qui vocat?
(still pounding) Who calls Ergasilus?
Vouchsafe me a look, sir.
Fortuna quod tibi nec facit nec faciet, me iubes. sed quis est?
(without turning his head) Vouchsafe you a look, eh! That is more than Good Luck does for you, or ever will do, either! Who is it, though?
Respice ad me, Hegio sum.
Look around this way. It's Hegio.
Oh mihi, quantum est hominum optumorum optume, in tempore advenis.
(rushing up) Oh! oh! You best of all the best men that tread the earth, you come just in time!
Nescio quem ad portum nactus es ubi cenes, eo fastidis.
You have hit upon some one or other at the harbour to dine with: that's why you are so haughty.
(rapturously) Give me your hand!
Manum, inquam, cedo tuam actutum.
Your hand, I say—give me your hand this instant!
(doing so) Take it. (Ergasilus shakes it vigorously)
Quid ego gaudeam?
Rejoice—I? What for?
Quia ego impero, age gaude modo.
Because I bid you to. Come now, rejoice!
Pol maerores mi antevortunt gaudiis. 840
Good Lord, man! grief takes precedence of joy in my case.
Iam ego ex corpore exigam omnis maculas maerorum tibi. gaude audacter.
I will remove every grief spot from off your person for you this minute. Rejoice, rejoice boldly!
Gaudeo, etsi nil scio quod gaudeam.
Well, I am rejoicing, although I haven't the least idea why I should.
Bene facis. iube—
Much obliged! Order—
(suspiciously) Order what?
Ignem ingentem fieri.
—a fire to be built, an enormous fire.
An enormous fire?
Ita dico, magnus ut sit.
That's what I say—make it a big one.
Quid? me, volturi, tuan causa aedis incensurum censes?
(angry) How's that? Do you think I'm going to burn my house down for your benefit, you vulture?
Noli irascier. iuben an non iubes astitui aulas, patinas elui, laridum atque epulas foveri foculis ferventibus? alium pisces praestinatum abire?
Calm yourself, sir. Will you order the pots to be set near the oven, or won't you—and the platters washed—and bacon and lovely things to eat to be warmed up in fire-pans piping hot? And some one to go and lay in fish?
Hic vigilans somniat.
Day dreams, poor fellow!
Alium porcinam atque agninam et pullos gallinaceos?
And some one else to get pork and lamb and spring chicken?
Scis bene esse, si sit unde.
You know how to enjoy yourself—given the wherewithal.
Pernam atque ophthalmiam, 850 horaeum, scombrum et trygonum et cetum, et mollem caseum?
And ham and river-lamprey and pickled fish, mackerel and sting ray and tunny, and nice soft cheese?
Nominandi istorum tibi erit magis quam edundi copia his apud me, Ergasile.
You will have more of an opportunity to mention those viands, Ergasilus, than to masticate them here at my house.
Mean me causa hoc censes dicere?
Do you suppose I'm saying this on my own account?
Nec nihil hodie nec multo plus tu hic edes, ne frustra sis. proin tu tui cottidiani victi ventrem ad me afferas.
What you get here to-day will be a cross between nothing and next to nothing; make no mistake about that. So bring me a stomach that is ready for your ordinary fare.
Quin ita faciam. ut tute cupias facere sumptum, etsi ego vetem.
Why, I'll make you long to squander money, you yourself, even though I should forbid it.
Yes, sir, you!
Tum tu mi igitur erus es.
Then you are my master, I take it.
Immo benevolens. vin te faciam fortunatum?
No, no, your whole-souled friend. Do you want me to make you a fortunate man?
Malim quam miserum quidem.
Rather than unfortunate, why, yes.
Give me your hand.
Here it is. (Ergasilus again shakes it fervently)
Di te omnes adiuvant.
The gods are with you!
I wouldn't know it.
Non enim es in senticeto, eo non sentis. sed iube 860 vasa tibi pura apparari ad rem divinam cito, atque agnum afferri proprium pinguem.
You wouldn't? Well, you're out of the wood; that's why you don't twig it. But see they get the holy vessels ready for worship—quick! Yes, and have a special lamb brought in, a fat one.
So that you may offer sacrifice.
To what deity?
Mi hercle, nam ego nunc tibi sum summus Iuppiter, idem ego sum Salus, Fortuna, Lux, Laetitia, Gaudium. proin tu deum hunc saturitate facias tranquillum tibi.
To me, by gad! For I'm your Jupiter Most High now, myself; and Salvation, Fortune, Light, Gladness, Joy—they're all this identical I! So mind you placate this divinity by stuffing him full.
Esurire mihi videre.
You need food, I fancy.
Mi quidem esurio, non tibi.
No sir, I need food I fancy, not food you fancy.
Tuo arbitratu, facile patior.
(smiling) Have it your own way: I'm perfectly willing to—crawl.
Credo, consuetu's puer.
Crawl? I believe you: it's a habit you—fell into—as a child.
Iuppiter te dique perdant.
(disgusted) Oh, you be damned, sir!
Te hercle—mi aequom est gratias agere ob nuntium; tantum ego nunc porto a portu tibi boni: nunc tu mihi places.
And by Jove, you be—grateful to me, as you ought, for my news. The glorious news from the port I'm just reporting! Now your dinner begins to tempt me.
Abi, stultu's, sero post tempus venis. 870
Be off, you idiot: you're behind time, you have come too late.
Igitur olim si advenissem, magis tu tum istuc diceres; nunc hanc laetitiam accipe a me, quam fero. nam filium tuom modo in portu Philopolemum vivom, salvom et sospitem vidi in publica celoce, ibidemque illum adulescentulum Aleum una et tuom Stalagmum servom, qui aufugit domo, qui tibi surripuit quadrimum puerum filiolum tuom.
Well, if I had come before, then you'd have had more reason to say that. (slowly and portentously) Now, sir, prepare for the ecstasy of which I am the vehicle. A few minutes ago at the harbour your son, your son Philopolemus, alive, safe and sound,—I saw him, saw him in a despatch boat, and along with him that young Elean and your slave Stalagmus that stole your little four year old boy.
Abi in malam rem, ludis me.
To the devil with you! You're making fun of me.
Ita me amabit sancta Saturitas, Hegio, itaque suo me semper condecoret cognomine, ut ego vidi.
So help me Holy Stuffing, so may she grace me with her name for evermore—I did see them, Hegio!
(sceptically) My son?
Tuom gnatum et genium meum.
Your son and my guardian angel.
Et captivom illum Alidensem?
And that Elean prisoner?
Ma ton Apollo:.
Oui, par Hercules!
Et servolum 880 meum Stalagmum, meum qui gnatum surripuit?
And that miserable slave of mine, Stalagmus, that kidnapped my son?
Nai tan Koran.
Oui, par Hercul-aneum!
I'm to believe that?
Nai tan Praineste:n.
Oui, par Pompeii!
Nai tan Signian.
Oui, par Sorrento!
Nai ton Phrousino:na.
Oui, par Amalfi!
Nai ton Alatrion.
Oui, par Torre dell'Annunziata!
Quid tu per barbaricas urbes iuras?
What are you swearing by foreign cities for!
Quia enim item asperae sunt ut tuom victum autumabas esse.
Well, because they're the same as you said your meals were— perfect terrors.
Vae aetati tuae.
Plague take you!
Quippe quando mihi nil credis, quod ego dico sedulo. sed Stalagmus quoius erat tunc nationis, cum hinc abit?
My sentiments exactly, seeing you don't believe a word I tell you in sober earnest. Stalagmus, though,—what was his nationality when he disappeared?
At nunc Siculus non est, Boius est, Boiam terit: liberorum quaerundorum causa ei, credo, uxor datast.
But he's no Sicilian now: he's a Gaul—he's being galled,[G] anyhow, by that thing he's attached to: he's coupled with the article so as to get children, I suppose?
[Footnote G: Boia means a woman of the Boii, also a malefactor's collar.]
Dic, bonan fide tu mi istaec verba dixisti?
See here, have you told me all this in good faith?
In good faith.
Di immortales, iterum gnatus videor, si vera autumas.
Great heavens! I feel like a new man, if what you say is true.
Ain tu? dubium habebis etiam, sancte quom ego iurem tibi? postremo, Hegio, si parva iuri iurandost fides, vise ad portum.
Eh? How's that? You'll still doubt me when I'd give you my sacred word on it? Very well then, Hegio, if my solemn oath is insufficient for you, go down to the harbour and see for yourself.
Facere certumst. tu intus cura quod opus est. sume, posce, prome quid vis. te facio cellarium.
(excited) Precisely what I will do. You go inside and attend to what's needed. Take anything you want, ask for it, get it from the store-room. I make you butler.
Nam hercle, nisi mantiscinatus probe ero, fusti pectito.
(wild with joy) Now by Jupiter, if I don't do some handsome catering, comb me down with a club!
Aeternum tibi dapinabo victum, si vera autumas.
I'll dinner you till doomsday, if it's true.
And who's to pay?
A me meoque gnato.
I and my son.
Sponden tu istud?
I have your word on that?
At ego tuom tibi advenisse filium respondeo.
And for my part, my word to you is—your son has arrived.
Cura quam optume potes.
(making off toward harbour) Attend to everything the very best you can.
Bene ambula et redambula. 900 illic hinc abiit, mihi rem summam credidit cibariam. di immortales, iam ut ego collos praetruncabo tegoribus, quanta pernis pestis veniet, quanta labes larido, quanta sumini absumedo, quanta callo calamitas, quanta laniis lassitudo, quanta porcinariis.
A pleasant walk and—backwalk—to you. [EXIT Hegio] He's gone! And the whole blessed commissariat left to me! Ye immortal gods! how I'll knock necks off backs now! Ah, ham's case is hopeless, and bacon's in a bad, bad way! And sow's udder—done for utterly! Oh, how pork rind will go to pot! Butchers and pig-dealers—won't I bustle 'em!
nam si alia memorem, quae ad ventris victum conducunt, morast. nunc ibo, ut pro praefectura mea ius dicam larido, et quae pendent indemnatae pernae, eis auxilium ut feram.
Why, if I should mention all the other things that go to bolster up a belly, it would be a waste of time. I must off this minute to perform my official duties and pass judgment on bacon and help out hams that are still untried and in suspense. [EXIT INTO HOUSE, HURRIEDLY: UPROAR WITHIN.
ENTER Page, ANGRY AND EXCITED, FROM Hegio's HOUSE.
Diespiter te dique, Ergasile, perdant et ventrem tuom, parasitosque omnis, et qui posthac cenam parasitis dabit. 910 clades, calamitasque, intemperies modo in nostram advenit domum. quasi lupus esuriens ille metui ne in me faceret impetum.
(shaking his fist at door) May all the powers of heaven destroy you, Ergasilus, and that belly of yours and all parasites and anyone that gives a parasite a meal hereafter! Disaster, devastation, a tornado, has just fallen on our house. I was afraid he'd jump at my throat like a ravening wolf!
ubi voltus esurientis vidi, eius extimescebam impetum nimisque hercle ego illum male formidabam. ita frendebat dentibus. adveniens deturbavit totum cum carne carnarium: arripuit gladium, praetruncavit tribus tegoribus glandia; aulas calicesque omnes confregit, nisi quae modiales erant.
As soon as I saw that ravenous look of his I almost died for fear he'd make a rush at me— Lord, how he did scare me, how he kept grinding his teeth! In he came and tugged down the meat, rack and all—grabbed a knife and lopped the choice bits off three necks of pork—and smashed every pot and tureen that didn't hold a peck or more!
cocum percontabatur, possentne seriae fervescere. cellas refregit omnis intus reclusitque armarium. adservate istunc, sultis, servi. ego ibo, ut conveniam senem. dicam ut sibi penum alium adornet, siquidem sese uti volet; 920 nam hic quidem, ut adornat, aut iam nihil est aut iam nihil erit.
Kept asking the cook if he couldn't possibly use the big pickle vats to boil things in! Broke into all the cupboards and raided the pantry! (shouting to those within) Hi, boys! watch him, will you! I'm going to find the old man. I'll tell him, so that he can get in more victuals for himself, that is if he wants any for his own use: for to judge from the way this fellow is getting 'em out here, there's nothing left now, or won't be long. [EXIT.
(Half an hour has elapsed.)
ENTER Hegio, Philopolemus, Philocrates, AND Stalagmus.
Iovi disque ago gratias merito magnas, quom reducem tuo te patri reddiderunt quomque ex miseriis plurimis me exemerunt, quae adhuc te carens dum hic fui sustentabam, quomque hunc conspicor in potestate nostra, quomque huius reperta est fides firma nobis.
(to Philopolemus) I thank God with all my heart, as I ought, for bringing you back to your father, and for relieving me of the dreadful anguish I've been enduring as day after day went by, and I still here without you; yes, and for letting me see this rascal (indicating Stalagmus) in my power, and for this gentleman's (indicating Philocrates) proving himself a man of honour in standing by his promise to us.
Satis iam dolui ex animo, et cura me satis et lacrumis maceravi, satis iam audivi tuas aerumnas, ad portum mihi quas memorasti. hoc agamus.
(seeing Philocrates is getting impatient) I've had quite enough bitter suffering, and enough of wearing myself out with anxiety and weeping, too, and I've heard quite enough of your distress of which you told me at the harbour, father! So now to the main point. (turns to Philocrates)
Quid nunc, quoniam tecum servavi fidem 930 tibique hunc reducem in libertatem feci?
(to Hegio) What of me, sir, now that I have kept faith with you and secured the liberty of your son here?
Fecisti ut tibi, Philocrates, numquam referre gratiam possim satis, proinde ut tu promeritu's de me et filio.
After the way you have acted, Philocrates, I'm entirely unable to show gratitude enough for your treatment of me and my son.
Immo potes, pater, et poteris et ego potero, et di eam potestatem dabunt ut beneficium bene merenti nostro merito muneres; sicut tu huic potes, pater mi, facere merito maxume.
No, no, you are able, father, yes, and always will be able, and so shall I be, and Heaven will give you the ability to do a deserved kindness to a man that has been so kind to us. It's just as with this slave here, (pointing to Stalagmus) father dear; you're able to give him his full deserts.
Quid opust verbis? lingua nullast qua negem quidquid roges.
(to Philocrates) It's plain enough, sir,—I have no tongue with which to refuse a request of yours.
Postulo abs te, ut mi illum reddas servom, quem hic reliqueram pignus pro me, qui mihi melior quam sibi semper fuit, pro bene factis eius ut ei pretium possim reddere. 940
What I ask you to do is to give me back the slave I left here as security for myself—he was always ready to sacrifice himself for me!—so that I can reward him for his kindnesses.
Quod bene fecisti referetur gratia id quod postulas; et id et aliud, quod me orabis, impetrabis. atque te nolim suscensere quod ego iratus ei feci male.
You have been kind to us, sir, and I shall be glad to do as you ask; both that request, and any other, will be granted. (embarrassed) And—and I trust you won't be incensed at me for getting angry and treating him badly.
(anxiously) What did you do?
In lapicidinas compeditum condidi, ubi rescivi mihi data esse verba.
I had him fettered and put down in the stone quarries when I found out I had been imposed upon.
Vae misero mihi, propter meum caput labores homini evenisse optumo.
God forgive me! To think of the splendid fellow suffering so, and all for my sake!
At ob eam rem mihi libellam pro eo argenti ne duis. gratiis a me, ut sit liber, ducito.
Well, sir, this being so, you needn't give me a single farthing for him: take him from me gratis—he is a free man.
Edepol, Hegio. facis benigne. sed quaeso, hominem ut iubeas arcessi.
Well, well, Hegio, many thanks! But have him sent for, I beg you.
Licet. ubi estis vos? ite actutum Tyndarum huc arcessite, 950 vos ite intro. interibi ego ex hac statua verberea volo erogitare, meo minore quid sit factum filio. vos lavate interibi.
By all means (calling to slaves in house) Where are you? [ENTER OVERSEERS] Quick! go bring Tyndarus here. [EXEUNT OVERSEERS] (to Philopolemus and Philocrates) As for you lads, step inside. Meanwhile I want to inquire of this whipping post here (pointing to Stalagmus) what was done with my younger son. You can take a bath meanwhile.
Sequere hac. Philocrates, me intro.
Come along in with me, Philocrates.
Age tu illuc procede. bone vir, lepidum mancupium meum.
(to Stalagmus) Come now, you! Over there with you, (pointing) my good sir, my charming piece of property.
Quid me oportet facere, ubi tu talis vir falsum autumas? fui ego bellus, lepidus. bonus vir numquam, neque frugi bonae, neque ero umquam, ne erres: spem ponas me bonae frugi fore.
(sullenly) What can you look for from me, when a fine gentleman like you tells lies? I've had my day as a dandy, a charmer; a good sir, or good for anything, I never was, and I never will be, make no mistake, don't you build up hopes I will be good for anything.
Propemodum ubi loci fortunae tuae sint facile intellegis. si eris verax, tua ex re, facies ex mala meliusculam. recte et vera loquere, sed neque vere neque tu recte adhuc 960 fecisti umquam.
You have no difficulty in appreciating your position pretty fairly well. Now be truthful, and you'll be acting to your own advantage and make a bad prospect somewhat better. Out with your story, make it straightforward and honest—virtues you have never displayed hitherto, however.
Quod ego fatear, credin pudeat cum autumes?
When I'm ready to admit a thing myself d'ye think I should be ashamed of it just because you say it's so?
At ego faciam ut pudeat, nam in ruborem te totum dabo.
I'll make you ashamed, though: (savagely) I tell you what, I'll make one big blush of you.
Eia, credo ego imperito plagas minitaris mihi. tandem ista aufer ac dic quid fers, ut feras hinc quod petis.
(ironically) La! La! I'm promised a whipping, it seems, and I such a novice at it—oh, yes I am! Look here, get done with that talk and say what you've got to propose, so as to get what you're after.
Satis facundu's. sed iam fieri dicta compendi volo.
Quite a gift of tongue, sir! But oblige me by saving some of it for the moment.
Ut vis fiat.
Anything you like.
Bene morigerus fuit puer, nunc non decet. hoc agamus. iam animum advorte ac mihi quae dicam edissere. (967)
(half aside) That compliance he showed as a boy hardly becomes him at present. (aloud) To business! Now then, pay attention and answer me fully.
Nugae istaec sunt. non me censes scire quid dignus siem? (969)
Rot! Don't you suppose I know what I deserve?
At ea subterfugere potis es pauca, si non omnia. 970
Well, you have a chance to escape a little of it, if not all.
Pauca effugiam, scio; nam multa evenient, et merito meo, quia et fugi et tibi surripui filium et eum vendidi.
Little enough I'll escape, I know that; for there'll be plenty coming, and it serves me right, seeing I ran away and kidnapped your son and sold him.
Theodoromedi in Alide Polyplusio, sex minis.
(drawling) Theodoromedes Goldfields, in Elis, for twenty-four pounds.
Pro di immortales, is quidem huius est pater Philocrati.
God bless my soul! Why, he is the father of Philocrates here!
Quin melius novi quam tu et vidi saepius.
Well, I know him better than you, and I've seen him oftener.
Serva, Iuppiter supreme, et me et meum gnatum mihi. Philocrates, per tuom te genium obsecro, exi, te volo.
God Almighty, save me and save my boy for me! (running to door and shouting) Philocrates! Here, here, come, on your life! I want you!
Hegio, assum. si quid me vis, impera.
Here I am, Hegio. If I can be of any service, command me.
Hic gnatum meum tuo patri ait se vendidisse sex minis in Alide.
(beside himself) This fellow says my son—he sold him to your father—for twenty-four pounds—in Elis!
Quam diu id factum est?
How long ago was this?
His annus incipit vicensimus. 980
Going on for twenty years.
Aut ego aut tu. nam tibi quadrimulum tuos pater peculiarem parvolo puero dedit.
(indifferent) One of us is. As a matter of fact, your father gave you a little four year old boy for your own, when you were nothing but a youngster yourself.
Quid erat ei nomen? si vera dicis, memoradum mihi.
(interested) What was his name? If your story is true, come, tell me that.
Paegnium vocitatust, post vos indidistis Tyndaro.
Styled Pettie, he was: later on you folks called him Tyndarus.
Cur ego te non novi?
How is it I don't know you?
Quia mos est oblivisci hominibus neque novisse cuius nihili sit faciunda gratia.
Because it's the regular thing to forget a fellow and cut him, in case his good will can't help you at all.
Dic mihi, isne istic fuit, quem vendidisti meo patri, qui mihi peculiaris datus est?
Tell me, was that boy you sold my father the same one that was given me for my own?
(with a nod in Hegio's direction) His son.
Vivitne is homo?
(eagerly) Is he alive, this—man?
Argentum accepi, nil curavi ceterum.
I got the money: that's all I bothered about.
Quid tu ais?
(to Philocrates) What do you say?
Quin istic ipsust Tyndarus tuos filius, 990 ut quidem hic argumenta loquitur. nam is mecum a puero puer bene pudiceque educatust usque ad adulescentiam.
Why, it's Tyndarus himself that is your son, at least according to this fellow's evidence. For Tyndarus has been brought up with me from the time we were boys, and brought up in good honest fashion.
Et miser sum et fortunatus, si vos vera dicitis; eo miser sum quia male illi feci, si gnatust meus. eheu, quom ego plus minusve feci quam me aequom fuit. quod male feci crucior; modo si infectum fieri possiet. sed eccum incedit huc ornatus haud ex suis virtutibus.
I feel miserable and happy both, if what you two say is true! Miserable at having been so hard on him, if he is my own boy! Dear, dear! how much more I've done than I ought, or how much less! It's torment, to think of the horrible thing I've done—oh, if it could only be undone! (looking down street) Look, though,—there he comes! To be decked out like that, the noble fellow!
ENTER Tyndarus ESCORTED BY OVERSEERS. HE IS HEAVILY IRONED AND CARRIES A CROWBAR.
Vidi ego multa saepe picta, quae Acherunti fierent cruciamenta, verum enim vero nulla adaeque est Acheruns atque ubi ego fui, in lapicidinis. illic ibi demumst locus, 1000 ubi labore lassitudo est exigunda ex corpore.
(dryly) I have seen a good many pictures whose subject was torture in Hell: but upon my soul, there is no hell that can match those stone quarries where I've been. That place down there is certainly the one where a weary man can be dead sure of working off his tired feeling.
nam ubi illo adveni, quasi patricus pueris aut monerulae, aut anites aut coturnices dantur, quicum lusitent itidem mi haec advenienti upupa, qui me delectem, datast sed erus eccum ante ostium, et erus alter eccum ex Alide rediit.
Why, when I got there it was just like your young scions of the nobility being given daws or ducks or quails for playfellows: my own case exactly—the moment I arrived they gave me this crow to have a lark with. (looking toward Hegio's house) But there's my master in front of the door— and, yes, my other master back from Elis!
Salve, exoptate gnate mi.
Oh, how are you, my own longed-for son?
Hem, quid gnate mi? attat. scio cur te patrem adsimules esse et me filium: quia mi item ut parentes lucis das tuendi copiam.
Eh? "My son?" How's that? (pauses, then with a weary laugh) Ah, yes, yes, I see the point of your father and son chaff: just as parents do, you give me a chance to behold the light of day.
God bless you, Tyndarus!
Et tu, quoius causa hanc aerumnam exigo.
And you, sir, for whose sake I'm undergoing this confounded experience.
At nunc liber in divitias faxo venies. nam tibi 1010 pater hic est; hic servos, qui te huic hinc quadrimum surpuit. vendidit patri meo te sex minis, is te mihi parvolum peculiarem parvolo puero dedit: illic indicium fecit; nam hunc ex Alide huc reduximus.
But now you shall be a free man, Tyndarus, and a rich one, I promise you. For here is (indicating Hegio) your father; this slave (indicating Stalagmus) stole you away from him here when you were four years old and sold you to my father for twenty-four pounds. And when we were both small boys, father gave you to me for my own. That fellow there has proved it all; you see we brought him back here from Elis.
Quid huius filium?
(dazed) What about his son?
Intus eccum fratrem germanum tuom. (1015)
Look—inside there—your own brother!
Nunc edepol demum in memoriam regredior, audisse me (1023) quasi per nebulam, Hegionem meum patrem vocarier.
Great heavens! When I think back I do now at last remember hearing—in a cloudy sort of way—my father called Hegio!
Is ego sum.
(embracing him) I am that Hegio!
Compedibus quaeso ut tibi sit levior filius atque huic gravior servos.
(to Hegio, pointing to the shackles on Tyndarus). Those irons, sir,—for mercy's sake get yourself a lighter son, and him a heavier slave. (indicating Stalagmus)
Certum est principio id praevortier. eamus intro, ut arcessatur faber, ut istas compedes tibi adimam, huic dem.
Yes, yes, I must see to that first of all. Let's go inside and have a blacksmith sent for, so that I may get those irons off of you and make this fellow (turning to Stalagmus) a present of them.
Quoi peculi nihil est, recte feceris.
Thanks awfully—seeing I haven't a thing I can call my own. [EXEUNT OMNES.
SPOKEN BY THE COMPANY.
Spectatores, ad pudicos mores facta haec fabula est, neque in hac subigitationes sunt neque ulla amatio 1030 nec pueri suppositio nec argenti circumductio, neque ubi amans adulescens scortum liberet clam suom patrem.
Spectators, this play was composed with due regard to the proprieties: here you have no vicious intrigues, no love affair, no supposititious child, no getting money on false pretences, no young spark setting a wench free without his father's knowledge.
huius modi paucas poetae reperiunt comoedias, ubi boni meliores fiant. nunc vos, si vobis placet et si placuimus neque odio fuimus, signum hoc mittite: qui pudicitiae esse voltis praemium, plausum date.
Dramatists find few plays such as this which make good men better. Now, if you so please, and if we have pleased you and have not been boring, intimate as much: you who wish virtue to be rewarded, give us your applause.
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[Footnote 1: Corrupt (Leo): vincti quia astant Fleckeisen.]
[Footnote 2: Leo notes lacuna here: (cette), iam hoc tenetis Schoell.]
[Footnote 3: vel precedes in MSS: Leo brackets.]
[Footnote 4: Leo notes lacuna here: cupio (fieri) Schoell.]
[Footnote 5: Leo's correction of multa miraclitis of the MSS.]
[Footnote 6: Corrupt (Leo): ea MSS: consili Schoell.]
[Footnote 7: Leo brackets the following v., 237: quod tibi suadeam, suadeam meo patri.]
[Footnote 8: Leo notes lacuna here: huius (ille) Camerarius.]
[Footnote 9: Leo brackets the following v., 280:
Hegio Tum igitur ei cum in Aleis tanta gratia est, ut praedicas.]
[Footnote 10: Leo brackets the following v., 288: nam ille quidem Theodoromedes fuit germano nomine.]
[Footnote 11: Leo brackets the following v., 324:
Hegio Ego virtute deum et maiorum nostrum dives sum satis.]
[Footnote 12: Corrupt (Leo): quin te gratiis MSS: gratiis quin te Schoell.]
[Footnote 13: Leo brackets the following v., 438: scito te hinc minis viginti aestumatum mittier.]
[Footnote 14: Corrupt (Leo): exitium Pontanus: exilium MSS.]
[Footnote 15: Leo brackets the following v., 521: nec sycophantiis nec fucis ullum mantellum obviam est.]
[Footnote 16: Corrupt (Leo): qui venit modo intro MSS: modo qui venit intro Lindsay.]
[Footnote 17: Leo notes lacuna here: manicas (maxumas) Spengel.]
[Footnote 18: Leo notes lacuna here: ut (etiam) Schoell.]
[Footnote 19: Leo notes lacuna here: mihi (quod domist) Schoell.]
[Footnote 20: Leo brackets the following v., 801: Qui mihi in cursu opstiterit, faxo vitae is extemplo opstiterit suae.]
[The man that stands in my path shall forthwith stand in the way of his own existence.]
[Footnote 21: Noli irascier follows in MSS: Leo brackets.]
[Footnote 22: Corrupt (Leo): laridum ac pernas Schoell.]
[Footnote 23: Corrupt (Leo): pern[ul]am Geppert.]
[Footnote 24: voltus esurientis (vidi, eius extimescebam) Leo: A reading doubtful: other MSS omit the line.]
[Footnote 25: Corrupt (Leo): te carens dum hic P: carens dum huc A.]
[Footnote 26: tu huic MSS: nunc Leo.]
[Footnote 27: Leo brackets the following v., 968: si eris verax, ex tuis rebus feceris meliusculas.]
[Footnote 28: Leo brackets the following v., 1016-1022:
Tynd. Quid tu ais? adduatin illum huius captivom filium? Philocr. Quin, inquam, intus hic est. Tynd. Fecisti edepol et recte et bene. Philocr. Nunc tibi pater hic est. hic fur est tuos, qui parvom hinc te abstulit. Tynd. At ego hunc grandis grandem natu ob furtum ad carnificem dabo. Philocr. Meritus est Tynd. Ergo edepol merito meritam mercedem dabo. 1020 sed tu dic oro. pater meus tune es? Hegio. Ego sum, gnate mi. Tynd. Nunc demum in memoriam redeo, cum mecum recogito.]
[Tynd. What do you say? Did you bring this gentleman's captive son? Philocr. Yes, yes, he's inside, I tell you. Tynd. By heaven, sir, you have acted fairly and honourably. Philocr. Now here is your father: and here is the thief who stole you away from here when you were small. Tynd. But now that we're both big, I'll hand him over to the executioner for that theft. Philocr. He deserves it. Tynd. Well then, I'll give him his deserved deserts deservedly, by gad! But you, sir, speak I beseech you. Are you my father? Hegio I am, my dear lad. Tynd. Now at last I remember—when I think it over.]
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[Transcriber's Corrections: Captivi (The Captives)
Personae: ERGASILVS PARASITUS... spelling unchanged, as in Amphitryon ]
I. 1. ...have dubbed me Missy, on the ground that... text reads on the gound
II. 2. Now the old fellow is in the barber's chair text reads barbar's chair ]
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