A Collection of College Words and Customs
by Benjamin Homer Hall
Previous Part     1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11     Next Part
Home - Random Browse

A very clever elegy on the death of Goody Morse, who "For forty years or more ... contrived the while No little dust to raise" in the rooms of the students of Harvard College, is to be found in Harvardiana, Vol. I. p. 233. It was written by Mr. (afterwards Rev.) Benjamin Davis Winslow. In the poem which he read before his class in the University Chapel at Cambridge, July 14, 1835, he referred to her in these lines:

"'New brooms sweep clean': 't was thine, dear Goody Morse, To prove the musty proverb hath no force, Since fifty years to vanished centuries crept, While thy old broom our cloisters duly swept. All changed but thee! beneath thine aged eye Whole generations came and flitted by, Yet saw thee still in office;—e'en reform Spared thee the pelting of its angry storm. Rest to thy bones in yonder church-yard laid, Where thy last bed the village sexton made!"—p. 19.

GORM. From gormandize. At Hamilton College, to eat voraciously.

GOT. In Princeton College, when a student or any one else has been cheated or taken in, it is customary to say, he was got.

GOVERNMENT. In American colleges, the general government is usually vested in a corporation or a board of trustees, whose powers, rights, and duties are established by the respective charters of the colleges over which they are placed. The immediate government of the undergraduates is in the hands of the president, professors, and tutors, who are styled the Government, or the College Government, and more frequently the Faculty, or the College Faculty.—Laws of Univ. at Cam., Mass., 1848, pp. 7, 8. Laws of Yale Coll., 1837, p. 5.

For many years he was the most conspicuous figure among those who constituted what was formerly called "the Government."—Memorial of John S. Popkin, D.D., p. vii.

[Greek: Kudiste], mighty President!!! [Greek: Kalomen nun] the Government.—Rebelliad, p. 27.

Did I not jaw the Government, For cheating more than ten per cent?—Ibid., p. 32.

They shall receive due punishment From Harvard College Government.—Ibid., p. 44.

The annexed production, printed from a MS. in the author's handwriting, and in the possession of the editor of this work, is now, it is believed, for the first time presented to the public. The time is 1787; the scene, Harvard College. The poem was "written by John Q. Adams, son of the President, when an undergraduate."


"The Government of College met, And Willard[31] rul'd the stern debate. The witty Jennison[32] declar'd As how, he'd been completely scar'd; Last night, quoth he, as I came home, I heard a noise in Prescott's[33] room. I went and listen'd at the door, As I had often done before; I found the Juniors in a high rant, They call'd the President a tyrant; And said as how I was a fool, A long ear'd ass, a sottish mule, Without the smallest grain of spunk; So I concluded they were drunk. At length I knock'd, and Prescott came: I told him 't was a burning shame, That he should give his classmates wine; And he should pay a heavy fine. Meanwhile the rest grew so outragious, Altho' I boast of being couragious, I could not help being in a fright, For one of them put out the light. I thought 't was best to come away, And wait for vengeance 'till this day; And he's a fool at any rate Who'll fight, when he can RUSTICATE. When they [had] found that I was gone, They ran through College up and down; And I could hear them very plain Take the Lord's holy name in vain. To Wier's[34] chamber they then repair'd, And there the wine they freely shar'd; They drank and sung till they were tir'd. And then they peacefully retir'd. When this Homeric speech was said, With drolling tongue and hanging head, The learned Doctor took his seat, Thinking he'd done a noble feat. Quoth Joe,[35] the crime is great I own, Send for the Juniors one by one. By this almighty wig I swear, Which with such majesty I wear, Which in its orbit vast contains My dignity, my power and brains, That Wier and Prescott both shall see, That College boys must not be free. He spake, and gave the awful nod Like Homer's Didonean God, The College from its centre shook, And every pipe and wine-glass broke.

"Williams,[36] with countenance humane, While scarce from laughter could refrain, Thought that such youthful scenes of mirth To punishment could not give birth; Nor could he easily divine What was the harm of drinking wine.

"But Pearson,[37] with an awful frown, Full of his article and noun, Spake thus: by all the parts of speech Which I so elegantly teach, By mercy I will never stain The character which I sustain. Pray tell me why the laws were made, If they're not to be obey'd; Besides, that Wier I can't endure, For he's a wicked rake, I'm sure. But whether I am right or not, I'll not recede a single jot.

"James[38] saw 'twould be in vain t' oppose, And therefore to be silent chose.

"Burr,[39] who had little wit or pride, Preferr'd to take the strongest side. And Willard soon receiv'd commission To give a publick admonition. With pedant strut to prayers he came, Call'd out the criminals by name; Obedient to his dire command, Prescott and Wier before him stand. The rulers merciful and kind, With equal grief and wonder find, That you do drink, and play, and sing, And make with noise the College ring. I therefore warn you to beware Of drinking more than you can bear. Wine an incentive is to riot, Disturbance of the publick quiet. Full well your Tutors know the truth, For sad experience taught their youth. Take then this friendly exhortation; The next offence is RUSTICATION."

GOWN. A long, loose upper garment or robe, worn by professional men, as divines, lawyers, students, &c., who are called men of the gown, or gownmen. It is made of any kind of cloth, worn over ordinary clothes, and hangs down to the ankles, or nearly so. —Encyc.

From a letter written in the year 1766, by Mr. Holyoke, then President of Harvard College, it would appear that gowns were first worn by the members of that institution about the year 1760. The gown, although worn by the students in the English universities, is now seldom worn in American colleges except on Commencement, Exhibition, or other days of a similar public character.

The students are permitted to wear black gowns, in which they may appear on all public occasions.—Laws Harv. Coll., 1798, p. 37.

Every candidate for a first degree shall wear a black dress and the usual black gown.—Laws Univ. at Cam., Mass., 1848, p. 20.

The performers all wore black gowns with sleeves large enough to hold me in, and shouted and swung their arms, till they looked like so many Methodist ministers just ordained.—Harvardiana, Vol. III. p. 111.

Saw them ... clothed in gowns of satin, Or silk or cotton, black as souls benighted.— All, save the gowns, was startling, splendid, tragic, But gowns on men have lost their wonted magic. Childe Harvard, p. 26.

The door swings open—and—he comes! behold him Wrapt in his mantling gown, that round him flows Waving, as Caesar's toga did enfold him.—Ibid., p. 36.

On Saturday evenings, Sundays, and Saints' days, the students wear surplices instead of their gowns, and very innocent and exemplary they look in them.—Bristed's Five Years in an Eng. Univ., Ed. 2d, p. 21.

2. One who wears a gown.

And here, I think, I may properly introduce a very singular gallant, a sort of mongrel between town and gown,—I mean a bibliopola, or (as the vulgar have it) a bookseller.—The Student, Oxf. and Cam., Vol. II. p. 226.

GOWNMAN, GOWNSMAN. One whose professional habit is a gown, as a divine or lawyer, and particularly a member of an English university.—Webster.

The gownman learned.—Pope.

Oft has some fair inquirer bid me say, What tasks, what sports beguile the gownsman's day. The College, in Blackwood's Mag., May, 1849.

For if townsmen by our influence are so enlightened, what must we gownsmen be ourselves?—The Student, Oxf. and Cam., Vol. I. p. 56.

Nor must it be supposed that the gownsmen are thin, study-worn, consumptive-looking individuals.—Bristed's Five Years in an Eng. Univ., Ed. 2d, p. 5.

See CAP.

GRACE. In English universities, an act, vote, or decree of the government of the institution.—Webster.

"All Graces (as the legislative measures proposed by the Senate are termed) have to be submitted first to the Caput, each member of which has an absolute veto on the grace. If it passes the Caput, it is then publicly recited in both houses, [the regent and non-regent,] and at a subsequent meeting voted on, first in the Non-Regent House, and then in the other. If it passes both, it becomes valid."—Literary World, Vol. XII. p. 283.


GRADUATE. To honor with a degree or diploma, in a college or university; to confer a degree on; as, to graduate a master of arts.—Wotton.

Graduated a doctor, and dubb'd a knight.—Carew.

Pickering, in his Vocabulary, says of the word graduate: "Johnson has it as a verb active only. But an English friend observes, that 'the active sense of this word is rare in England.' I have met with one instance in an English publication where it is used in a dialogue, in the following manner: 'You, methinks, are graduated.' See a review in the British Critic, Vol. XXXIV. p. 538."

In Mr. Todd's edition of Johnson's Dictionary, this word is given as a verb intransitive also: "To take an academical degree; to become a graduate; as he graduated at Oxford."

In America, the use of the phrase he was graduated, instead of he graduated, which has been of late so common, "is merely," says Mr. Bartlett in his Dictionary of Americanisms, "a return to former practice, the verb being originally active transitive."

He was graduated with the esteem of the government, and the regard of his contemporaries—Works of R.T. Paine, p. xxix. The latter, who was graduated thirteen years after.—Peirce's Hist. Harv. Univ., p. 219.

In this perplexity the President had resolved "to yield to the torrent, and graduate Hartshorn."—Quincy's Hist. Harv. Univ., Vol. I. p. 398. (The quotation was written in 1737.)

In May, 1749, three gentlemen who had sons about to be graduated.—Ibid., Vol. II. p. 92.

Mr. Peirce was born in September, 1778; and, after being graduated at Harvard College, with the highest honors of his class.—Ibid., Vol. II. p. 390, and Chap. XXXVII. passim.

He was graduated in 1789 with distinguished honors, at the age of nineteen.—Mr. Young's Discourse on the Life of President Kirkland.

His class when graduated, in 1785, consisted of thirty-two persons.—Dr. Palfrey's Discourse on the Life and Character of Dr. Ware.

2. Intransitively. To receive a degree from a college or university.

He graduated at Leyden in 1691.—London Monthly Mag., Oct. 1808, p. 224.

Wherever Magnol graduated.—Rees's Cyclopaedia, Art. MAGNOL.

GRADUATE. One who has received a degree in a college or university, or from some professional incorporated society.—Webster.

GRADUATE IN A SCHOOL. A degree given, in the University of Virginia, to those who have been through a course of study less than is required for the degree of B.A.

GRADUATION. The act of conferring or receiving academical degrees. —Charter of Dartmouth College.

After his graduation at Yale College, in 1744, he continued his studies at Harvard University, where he took his second degree in 1747.—Hist. Sketch of Columbia Coll., p. 122.

Bachelors were called Senior, Middle, or Junior Bachelors according to the year since graduation, and before taking the degree of Master.—Woolsey's Hist. Disc., p. 122.

GRAND COMPOUNDER. At the English Universities, one who pays double fees for his degree.

"Candidates for all degrees, who possess certain property," says the Oxford University Calendar, "must go out, as it is termed, Grand Compounders. The property required for this purpose may arise from two distinct sources; either from some ecclesiastical benefice or benefices, or else from some other revenue, civil or ecclesiastical. The ratio of computation in the first case is expressly limited by statute to the value of the benefice or benefices, as rated in the King's books, without regard to the actual estimation at the present period; and the amount of that value must not be less than forty pounds. In the second instance, which includes all other cases, comprising ecclesiastical as well as civil income, (academical income alone excepted,) property to the extent of three hundred pounds a year is required; nor is any difference made between property in land and property in money, so that a legal revenue to this extent of any description, not arising from a benefice or benefices, and not being strictly academical, renders the qualification complete."—Ed. 1832, p. 92.

At Oxford "a 'grand compounder' is one who has income to the amount of $1,500, and is made to pay $150 for his degree, while the ordinary fee is $42." Lit. World, Vol. XII. p. 247.

GRAND TRIBUNAL. The Grand Tribunal is an institution peculiar to Trinity College, Hartford. A correspondent describes it as follows. "The Grand Tribunal is a mock court composed of the Senior and Junior Classes, and has for its special object the regulation and discipline of Sophomores. The first officer of the Tribunal is the 'Grand High Chancellor,' who presides at all business meetings. The Tribunal has its judges, advocates, sheriff, and his aids. According to the laws of the Tribunal, no Sophomore can be tried who has three votes in his favor. This regulation makes a trial a difficult matter; there is rarely more than one trial a year, and sometimes two years elapse without there being a session of the court. When a selection of an offending and unlucky Soph has been made, he is arrested some time during the day of the evening on which his trial takes place. The court provides him with one advocate, while he has the privilege of choosing another. These trials are often the scenes of considerable wit and eloquence. One of the most famous of them was held in 1853. When the Tribunal is in session, it is customary for the Faculty of the College to act as its police, by preserving order amongst the Sophs, who generally assemble at the door, to disturb, if possible, the proceedings of the Court."

GRANTA. The name by which the University of Cambridge, Eng., was formerly known. At present it is sometimes designated by this title in poetry, and in addresses written in other tongues than the vernacular.

Warm with fond hope, and Learning's sacred flame, To Granta's bowers the youthful Poet came.

Lines in Memory of H.K. White, by Prof. William Smyth, in Cam. Guide.

GRATULATORY. Expressing gratulation; congratulatory.

At Harvard College, while Wadsworth was President, in the early part of the last century, it was customary to close the exercises of Commencement day with a gratulatory oration, pronounced by one of the candidates for a degree. This has now given place to what is generally called the valedictory oration.

GRAVEL DAY. The following account of this day is given in a work entitled Sketches of Williams College. "On the second Monday of the first term in the year, if the weather be at all favorable, it has been customary from time immemorial to hold a college meeting, and petition the President for 'Gravel day.' We did so this morning. The day was granted, and, recitations being dispensed with, the students turned out en masse to re-gravel the college walks. The gravel which we obtain here is of such a nature that it packs down very closely, and renders the walks as hard and smooth as a pavement. The Faculty grant this day for the purpose of fostering in the students the habit of physical labor and exercise, so essential to vigorous mental exertion."—1847, pp. 78, 79.

The improved method of observing this day is noted in the annexed extract. "Nearly every college has its own peculiar customs, which have been transmitted from far antiquity; but Williams has perhaps less than any other. Among ours are 'gravel day,' 'chip day,' and 'mountain day,' occurring one in each of the three terms. The first usually comes in the early part of the Fall term. In old times, when the students were few, and rather fonder of work than at the present, they turned out with spades, hoes, and other implements, and spread gravel over the walks, to the College grounds; but in later days, they have preferred to tax themselves to a small amount and delegate the work to others, while they spend the day in visiting the Cascade, the Natural Bridge, or others of the numerous places of interest near us."—Boston Daily Evening Traveller, July 12, 1854.

GREAT GO. In the English universities the final and most important examination is called the great go, in contradistinction to the little go, an examination about the middle of the course.

In my way back I stepped into the Great Go schools.—The Etonian, Vol. II. p. 287.

Read through the whole five volumes folio, Latin, previous to going up for his Great Go.—Ibid., Vol. II. p. 381.

GREEN. Inexperienced, unsophisticated, verdant. Among collegians this term is the favorite appellation for Freshmen.

When a man is called verdant or green, it means that he is unsophisticated and raw. For instance, when a man rushes to chapel in the morning at the ringing of the first bell, it is called green. At least, we were, for it. This greenness, we would remark, is not, like the verdure in the vision of the poet, necessarily perennial.—Williams Monthly Miscellany, 1845, Vol. I. p. 463.

GRIND. An exaction; an oppressive action. Students speak of a very long lesson which they are required to learn, or of any thing which it is very unpleasant or difficult to perform, as a grind. This meaning is derived from the verb to grind, in the sense of to harass, to afflict; as, to grind the faces of the poor (Isaiah iii. 15).

I must say 't is a grind, though —(perchance I spoke too loud). Poem before Iadma, 1850, p. 12.

GRINDING. Hard study; diligent application.

The successful candidate enjoys especial and excessive grinding during the four years of his college course. Burlesque Catalogue, Yale Coll., 1852-53, p. 28.

GROATS. At the English universities, "nine groats" says Grose, in his Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue, "are deposited in the hands of an academic officer by every person standing for a degree, which, if the depositor obtains with honor, are returned to him."

To save his groats; to come off handsomely.—Gradus ad Cantab.

GROUP. A crowd or throng; a number collected without any regular form or arrangement. At Harvard College, students are not allowed to assemble in groups, as is seen by the following extract from the laws. Three persons together are considered as a group.

Collecting in groups round the doors of the College buildings, or in the yard, shall be considered a violation of decorum.—Laws Univ. at Cam., Mass., 1848, Suppl., p. 4.

GROUPING. Collecting together.

It will surely be incomprehensible to most students how so large a number as six could be suffered with impunity to horde themselves together within the limits of the college yard. In those days the very learned laws about grouping were not in existence. A collection of two was not then considered a sure prognostic of rebellion, and spied out vigilantly by tutoric eyes. A group of three was not reckoned a gross outrage of the college peace, and punished severely by the subtraction of some dozens from the numerical rank of the unfortunate youth engaged in so high a misdemeanor. A congregation of four was not esteemed an open, avowed contempt of the laws of decency and propriety, prophesying utter combustion, desolation, and destruction to all buildings and trees in the neighborhood; and lastly, a multitude of five, though watched with a little jealousy, was not called an intolerable, unparalleled violation of everything approaching the name of order, absolute, downright shamelessness, worthy capital mark-punishment, alias the loss of 87-3/4 digits!—Harvardiana, Vol. III. p. 314.

The above passage and the following are both evidently of a satirical nature.

And often grouping on the chains, he hums his own sweet verse, Till Tutor ——, coming up, commands him to disperse! Poem before Y.H., 1849, p. 14.

GRUB. A hard student. Used at Williams College, and synonymous with DIG at other colleges. A correspondent says, writing from Williams: "Our real delvers, midnight students, are familiarly called Grubs. This is a very expressive name."

A man must not be ashamed to be called a grub in college, if he would shine in the world.—Sketches of Williams College, p. 76.

Some there are who, though never known to read or study, are ever ready to debate,—not "grubs" or "reading men," only "wordy men."—Williams Quarterly, Vol. II. p. 246.

GRUB. To study hard; to be what is denominated a grub, or hard student. "The primary sense," says Dr. Webster, "is probably to rub, to rake, scrape, or scratch, as wild animals dig by scratching."

I can grub out a lesson in Latin or mathematics as well as the best of them.—Amherst Indicator, Vol. I. p. 223.

GUARDING. "The custom of guarding Freshmen," says a correspondent from Dartmouth College, "is comparatively a late one. Persons masked would go into another's room at night, and oblige him to do anything they commanded him, as to get under his bed, sit with his feet in a pail of water," &c.

GULF. In the University of Cambridge, Eng., one who obtains the degree of B.A., but has not his name inserted in the Calendar, is said to be in the gulf.

He now begins to ... be anxious about ... that classical acquaintance who is in danger of the gulf.—Bristed's Five Years in an Eng. Univ., Ed. 2d, p. 95.

Some ten or fifteen men just on the line, not bad enough to be plucked or good enough to be placed, are put into the "gulf," as it is popularly called (the Examiners' phrase is "Degrees allowed"), and have their degrees given them, but are not printed in the Calendar.—Ibid., p. 205.

GULFING. In the University of Cambridge, England, "those candidates for B.A. who, but for sickness or some other sufficient cause, might have obtained an honor, have their degree given them without examination, and thus avoid having their names inserted in the lists. This is called Gulfing." A degree taken in this manner is called "an AEgrotat Degree."—Alma Mater, Vol. II. pp. 60, 105.

I discovered that my name was nowhere to be found,—that I was Gulfed.—Ibid., Vol. II. p. 97.

GUM. A trick; a deception. In use at Dartmouth College.

Gum is another word they have here. It means something like chaw. To say, "It's all a gum," or "a regular chaw," is the same thing.—The Dartmouth, Vol. IV. p. 117.

GUM. At the University of Vermont, to cheat in recitation by using ponies, interliners, &c.; e.g. "he gummed in geometry."

2. To cheat; to deceive. Not confined to college.

He was speaking of the "moon hoax" which "gummed" so many learned philosophers.—Yale Lit. Mag., Vol. XIV. p. 189.

GUMMATION. A trick; raillery.

Our reception to college ground was by no means the most hospitable, considering our unacquaintance with the manners of the place, for, as poor "Fresh," we soon found ourselves subject to all manner of sly tricks and "gummations" from our predecessors, the Sophs.—A Tour through College, Boston, 1832, p. 13.

GYP. A cant term for a servant at Cambridge, England, at scout is used at Oxford. Said to be a sportive application of [Greek: gyps], a vulture.—Smart.

The word Gyp very properly characterizes them.—Gradus ad Cantab., p. 56.

And many a yawning gyp comes slipshod in, To wake his master ere the bells begin. The College, in Blackwood's Mag., May, 1849.

The Freshman, when once safe through his examination, is first inducted into his rooms by a gyp, usually recommended to him by his tutor. The gyp (from [Greek: gyps], vulture, evidently a nickname at first, but now the only name applied to this class of persons) is a college servant, who attends upon a number of students, sometimes as many as twenty, calls them in the morning, brushes their clothes, carries for them parcels and the queerly twisted notes they are continually writing to one another, waits at their parties, and so on. Cleaning their boots is not in his branch of the profession; there is a regular brigade of college shoeblacks.—Bristed's Five Years in an Eng. Univ., Ed. 2d, p. 14.

It is sometimes spelled Jip, though probably by mistake.

My Jip brought one in this morning; faith! and told me I was focussed.—Gent. Mag., 1794, p. 1085.


HALF-LESSON. In some American colleges on certain occasions the students are required to learn only one half of the amount of an ordinary lesson.

They promote it [the value of distinctions conferred by the students on one another] by formally acknowledging the existence of the larger debating societies in such acts as giving "half-lessons" for the morning after the Wednesday night debates.—Bristed's Five Years in an Eng. Univ., Ed. 2d, p. 386.

HALF-YEAR. In the German universities, a collegiate term is called a half-year.

The annual courses of instruction are divided into summer and winter half-years.—Howitt's Student Life of Germany, Am. Ed., pp. 34, 35.

HALL. A college or large edifice belonging to a collegiate institution.—Webster.

2. A collegiate body in the Universities of Oxford and Cambridge. In the former institution a hall differs from a college, in that halls are not incorporated; consequently, whatever estate or other property they possess is held in trust by the University. In the latter, colleges and halls are synonymous.—Cam. and Oxf. Calendars.

"In Cambridge," says the author of the Collegian's Guide, "the halls stand on the same footing as the colleges, but at Oxford they did not, in my time, hold by any means so high a place in general estimation. Certainly those halls which admit the outcasts of other colleges, and of those alone I am now speaking, used to be precisely what one would expect to find them; indeed, I had rather that a son of mine should forego a university education altogether, than that he should have so sorry a counterfeit of academic advantages as one of these halls affords."—p. 172.

"All the Colleges at Cambridge," says Bristed, "have equal privileges and rights, with the solitary exception of King's, and though some of them are called Halls, the difference is merely one of name. But the Halls at Oxford, of which there are five, are not incorporated bodies, and have no vote in University matters, indeed are but a sort of boarding-houses at which students may remain until it is time for them to take a degree. I dined at one of those establishments; it was very like an officers' mess. The men had their own wine, and did not wear their gowns, and the only Don belonging to the Hall was not present at table. There was a tradition of a chapel belonging to the concern, but no one present knew where it was. This Hall seemed to be a small Botany Bay of both Universities, its members made up of all sorts of incapables and incorrigibles."—Five Years in an Eng. Univ., Ed. 2d, pp. 140, 141.

3. At Cambridge and Oxford, the public eating-room.

I went into the public "hall" [so is called in Oxford the public eating-room].—De Quincey's Life and Manners, p. 231.

Dinner is, in all colleges, a public meal, taken in the refectory or "hall" of the society.—Ibid., p. 273.

4. At the University of Cambridge, Eng., dinner, the name of the place where the meal is taken being given to the meal itself.

Hall lasts about three quarters of an hour.—Bristed's Five Year in an Eng. Univ., Ed. 2d, p. 20.

After Hall is emphatically lounging-time, it being the wise practice of Englishmen to attempt no hard exercise, physical or mental, immediately after a hearty meal.—Ibid., p. 21.

It is not safe to read after Hall (i.e. after dinner).—Ibid., p. 331.

HANG-OUT. An entertainment.

I remember the date from the Fourth of July occurring just afterwards, which I celebrated by a "hang-out."—Bristed's Five Years in an Eng. Univ., Ed. 2d, p. 80.

He had kept me six hours at table, on the occasion of a dinner which he gave ... as an appendix to and a return for some of my "hangings-out."—Ibid., p. 198.

HANG OUT. To treat, to live, to have or possess. Among English Cantabs, a verb of all-work.—Bristed.

There were but few pensioners who "hung out" servants of their own.—Bristed's Five Years in an Eng. Univ., Ed. 2d, p. 90.

I had become ... a man who knew and "hung out to" clever and pleasant people, and introduced agreeable lions to one another.—Ibid., p. 158.

I had gained such a reputation for dinner-giving, that men going to "hang out" sometimes asked me to compose bills of fare for them.—Ibid., p. 195.

HARRY SOPHS, or HENRY SOPHISTERS; in reality Harisophs, a corruption of Erisophs ([Greek: erisophos], valde eruditus). At Cambridge, England, students who have kept all the terms required for a law act, and hence are ranked as Bachelors of Law by courtesy.—Gradus ad Cantab.

See, also, Gentleman's Magazine, 1795, p. 818.

HARVARD WASHINGTON CORPS. From a memorandum on a fly leaf of an old Triennial Catalogue, it would appear that a military company was first established among the students of Harvard College about the year 1769, and that its first captain was Mr. William Wetmore, a graduate of the Class of 1770. The motto which it then assumed, and continued to bear through every period of its existence, was, "Tam Marti quam Mercurio." It was called at that time the Marti Mercurian Band. The prescribed uniform was a blue coat, the skirts turned with white, nankeen breeches, white stockings, top-boots, and a cocked hat. This association continued for nearly twenty years from the time of its organization, but the chivalrous spirit which had called it into existence seems at the end of that time to have faded away. The last captain, it is believed, was Mr. Solomon Vose, a graduate of the class of 1787.

Under the auspices of Governor Gerry, in December of the year 1811, it was revived, and through his influence received a new loan of arms from the State, taking at the same time the name of the Harvard Washington Corps. In 1812, Mr. George Thacher was appointed its commander. The members of the company wore a blue coat, white vest, white pantaloons, white gaiters, a common black hat, and around the waist a white belt, which was always kept very neat, and to which were attached a bayonet and cartridge-box. The officers wore the same dress, with the exceptions of a sash instead of the belt, and a chapeau in place of the hat. Soon after this reorganization, in the fall of 1812, a banner, with the arms of the College on one side and the arms of the State on the other, was presented by the beautiful Miss Mellen, daughter of Judge Mellen of Cambridge, in the name of the ladies of that place. The presentation took place before the door of her father's house. Appropriate addresses were made, both by the fair donor and the captain of the company. Mr. Frisbie, a Professor in the College, who was at that time engaged to Miss Mellen, whom he afterwards married, recited on the occasion the following verses impromptu, which were received with great eclat.

"The standard's victory's leading star, 'T is danger to forsake it; How altered are the scenes of war, They're vanquished now who take it."

A writer in the Harvardiana, 1836, referring to this banner, says: "The gilded banner now moulders away in inglorious quiet, in the dusty retirement of a Senior Sophister's study. What a desecration for that 'flag by angel hands to valor given'!"[40] Within the last two years it has wholly disappeared from its accustomed resting-place. Though departed, its memory will be ever dear to those who saw it in its better days, and under its shadow enjoyed many of the proudest moments of college life.

At its second organization, the company was one of the finest and best drilled in the State. The members were from the Senior and Junior Classes. The armory was in the fifth story of Hollis Hall. The regular time for exercise was after the evening commons. The drum would often beat before the meal was finished, and the students could then be seen rushing forth with the half-eaten biscuit, and at the same time buckling on their armor for the accustomed drill. They usually paraded on exhibition-days, when the large concourse of people afforded an excellent opportunity for showing off their skill in military tactics and manoeuvring. On the arrival of the news of the peace of 1815, it appears, from an interleaved almanac, that "the H.W. Corps paraded and fired a salute; Mr. Porter treated the company." Again, on the 12th of May, same year, "H.W. Corps paraded in Charlestown, saluted Com. Bainbridge, and returned by the way of Boston." The captain for that year, Mr. W.H. Moulton, dying, on the 6th of July, at five o'clock, P.M., "the class," says the same authority, "attended the funeral of Br. Moulton in Boston. The H.W. Corps attended in uniform, without arms, the ceremony of entombing their late Captain."

In the year 1825, it received a third loan of arms, and was again reorganized, admitting the members of all the classes to its ranks. From this period until the year 1834, very great interest was manifested in it; but a rebellion having broken out at that time among the students, and the guns of the company having been considerably damaged by being thrown from the windows of the armory, which was then in University Hall, the company was disbanded, and the arms were returned to the State.

The feelings with which it was regarded by the students generally cannot be better shown than by quoting from some of the publications in which reference is made to it. "Many are the grave discussions and entry caucuses," says a writer in the Harvard Register, published in 1828, "to determine what favored few are to be graced with the sash and epaulets, and march as leaders in the martial band. Whilst these important canvassings are going on, it behooves even the humblest and meekest to beware how he buttons his coat, or stiffens himself to a perpendicular, lest he be more than suspected of aspiring to some military capacity. But the Harvard Washington Corps must not be passed over without further notice. Who can tell what eagerness fills its ranks on an exhibition-day? with what spirit and bounding step the glorious phalanx wheels into the College yard? with what exultation they mark their banner, as it comes floating on the breeze from Holworthy? And ah! who cannot tell how this spirit expires, this exultation goes out, when the clerk calls again and again for the assessments."—p. 378.

A college poet has thus immortalized this distinguished band:—

"But see where yonder light-armed ranks advance!— Their colors gleaming in the noonday glance, Their steps symphonious with the drum's deep notes, While high the buoyant, breeze-borne banner floats! O, let not allied hosts yon band deride! 'T is Harvard Corps, our bulwark and our pride! Mark, how like one great whole, instinct with life, They seem to woo the dangers of the strife! Who would not brave the heat, the dust, the rain, To march the leader of that valiant train?" Harvard Register, p. 235.

Another has sung its requiem in the following strain:—

"That martial band, 'neath waving stripes and stars Inscribed alike to Mercury and Mars, Those gallant warriors in their dread array, Who shook these halls,—O where, alas! are they? Gone! gone! and never to our ears shall come The sounds of fife and spirit-stirring drum; That war-worn banner slumbers in the dust, Those bristling arms are dim with gathering rust; That crested helm, that glittering sword, that plume, Are laid to rest in reckless faction's tomb." Winslow's Class Poem, 1835.

HAT FELLOW-COMMONER. At the University of Cambridge, Eng., the popular name given to a baronet, the eldest son of a baronet, or the younger son of a nobleman. A Hat Fellow-Commoner wears the gown of a Fellow-Commoner, with a hat instead of the velvet cap with metallic tassel which a Fellow-Commoner wears, and is admitted to the degree of M.A. after two years' residence.

HAULED UP. In many colleges, one brought up before the Faculty is said to be hauled up.

HAZE. To trouble; to harass; to disturb. This word is used at Harvard College, to express the treatment which Freshmen sometimes receive from the higher classes, and especially from the Sophomores. It is used among sailors with the meanings to urge, to drive, to harass, especially with labor. In his Dictionary of Americanisms, Mr. Bartlett says, "To haze round, is to go rioting about."

Be ready, in fine, to cut, to drink, to smoke, to swear, to haze, to dead, to spree,—in one word, to be a Sophomore.—Oration before H.L. of I.O. of O.F., 1848, p. 11.

To him no orchard is unknown,—no grape-vine unappraised,— No farmer's hen-roost yet unrobbed,—no Freshman yet unhazed! Poem before Y.H., 1849, p. 9.

'T is the Sophomores rushing the Freshmen to haze. Poem before Iadma, 1850, p. 22.

Never again Leave unbolted your door when to rest you retire, And, unhazed and unmartyred, you proudly may scorn Those foes to all Freshmen who 'gainst thee conspire. Ibid., p. 23.

Freshmen have got quietly settled down to work, Sophs have given up their hazing.—Williams Quarterly, Vol. II. p. 285.

We are glad to be able to record, that the absurd and barbarous custom of hazing, which has long prevailed in College, is, to a great degree, discontinued.—Harv. Mag., Vol. I. p. 413.

The various means which are made use of in hazing the Freshmen are enumerated in part below. In the first passage, a Sophomore speaks in soliloquy.

I am a man, Have human feelings, though mistaken Fresh Affirmed I was a savage or a brute, When I did dash cold water in their necks, Discharged green squashes through their window-panes, And stript their beds of soft, luxurious sheets, Placing instead harsh briers and rough sticks, So that their sluggish bodies might not sleep, Unroused by morning bell; or when perforce, From leaden syringe, engine of fierce might, I drave black ink upon their ruffle shirts, Or drenched with showers of melancholy hue, The new-fledged dickey peering o'er the stock, Fit emblem of a young ambitious mind! Harvardiana, Vol. III. p. 254.

A Freshman writes thus on the subject:—

The Sophs did nothing all the first fortnight but torment the Fresh, as they call us. They would come to our rooms with masks on, and frighten us dreadfully; and sometimes squirt water through our keyholes, or throw a whole pailful on to one of us from the upper windows.—Harvardiana, Vol. III. p. 76.

HEAD OF THE HOUSE. The generic name for the highest officer of a college in the English Universities.

The Master of the College, or "Head of the House," is a D.D. who has been a Fellow.—Bristed's Five Years in an Eng. Univ., Ed. 2d, p. 16.

The heads of houses [are] styled, according to the usage of the college, President, Master, Principal, Provost, Warden, or Rector. —Oxford Guide, 1847, p. xiii.

Written often simply Head.

The "Head," as he is called generically, of an Oxford college, is a greater man than the uninitiated suppose.—De Quincey's Life and Manners, p. 244.

The new Head was a gentleman of most commanding personal appearance.—Bristed's Five Years in an Eng. Univ., Ed. 2d, p. 87.

HEADSHIP. The office and place of head or president of a college.

Most of the college Headships are not at the disposal of the Crown.—Bristed's Five Years in an Eng. Univ., Ed. 2d, note, p. 89, and errata.

The Headships of the colleges are, with the exception of Worcester, filled by one chosen by the Fellows from among themselves, or one who has been a Fellow.—Oxford Guide, Ed. 1847, p. xiv.

HEADS OUT. At Princeton College, the cry when anything occurs in the Campus. Used, also, to give the alarm when a professor or tutor is about to interrupt a spree.


HEBDOMADAL BOARD. At Oxford, the local governing authority of the University, composed of the Heads of colleges and the two Proctors, and expressing itself through the Vice-Chancellor. An institution of Charles I.'s time, it has possessed, since the year 1631, "the sole initiative power in the legislation of the University, and the chief share in its administration." Its meetings are held weekly, whence the name.—Oxford Guide. Literary World, Vol. XII., p. 223.

HIGH-GO. A merry frolic, usually with drinking.

Songs of Scholars in revelling roundelays, Belched out with hickups at bacchanal Go, Bellowed, till heaven's high concave rebound the lays, Are all for college carousals too low. Of dullness quite tired, with merriment fired, And fully inspired with amity's glow, With hate-drowning wine, boys, and punch all divine, boys, The Juniors combine, boys, in friendly HIGH-GO. Glossology, by William Biglow, inserted in Buckingham's Reminiscences, Vol. II. pp. 281-284.

He it was who broached the idea of a high-go, as being requisite to give us a rank among the classes in college. D.A. White's Address before Soc. of the Alumni of Harv. Univ., Aug. 27, 1844, p. 35.

This word is now seldom used; the words High and Go are, however, often used separately, with the same meaning; as the compound. The phrase to get high, i.e. to become intoxicated, is allied with the above expression.

Or men "get high" by drinking abstract toddies? Childe Harvard, p. 71.

HIGH STEWARD. In the English universities, an officer who has special power to hear and determine capital causes, according to the laws of the land and the privileges of the university, whenever a scholar is the party offending. He also holds the university court-leet, according to the established charter and custom.—Oxf. and Cam. Cals.

At Cambridge, in addition to his other duties, the High Steward is the officer who represents the University in the House of Lords.

HIGH TABLE. At Oxford, the table at which the Fellows and some other privileged persons are entitled to dine.

Wine is not generally allowed in the public hall, except to the "high table."—De Quincey's Life and Manners, p. 278.

I dine at the "high table" with the reverend deans, and hobnob with professors.—Household Words, Am. ed., Vol. XI. p 521.

HIGH-TI. At Williams College, a term by which is designated a showy recitation. Equivalent to the word squirt at Harvard College.

HILLS. At Cambridge, Eng., Gogmagog Hills are commonly called the Hills.

Or to the Hills on horseback strays, (Unasked his tutor,) or his chaise To famed Newmarket guides. Gradus ad Cantab., p. 35.

HISS. To condemn by hissing.

This is a favorite method, especially among students, of expressing their disapprobation of any person or measure.

I'll tell you what; your crime is this, That, Touchy, you did scrape, and hiss. Rebelliad, p. 45.

Who will bully, scrape, and hiss! Who, I say, will do all this! Let him follow me,—Ibid., p. 53.

HOAXING. At Princeton College, inducing new-comers to join the secret societies is called hoaxing.

HOBBY. A translation. Hobbies are used by some students in translating Latin, Greek, and other languages, who from this reason are said to ride, in contradistinction to others who learn their lessons by study, who are said to dig or grub.


HOBSON'S CHOICE. Thomas Hobson, during the first third of the seventeenth century, was the University carrier between Cambridge and London. He died January 1st, 1631. "He rendered himself famous by furnishing the students with horses; and, making it an unalterable rule that every horse should have an equal portion of rest as well as labor, he would never let one out of its turn; hence the celebrated saying, 'Hobson's Choice: this, or none.'" Milton has perpetuated his fame in two whimsical epitaphs, which may be found among his miscellaneous poems.

HOE IN. At Hamilton College, to strive vigorously; a metaphorical meaning, taken from labor with the hoe.

HOIST. It was formerly customary at Harvard College, when the Freshmen were used as servants, to report them to their Tutor if they refused to go when sent on an errand; this complaint was called a hoisting, and the delinquent was said to be hoisted.

The refusal to perform a reasonable service required by a member of the class above him, subjected the Freshmen to a complaint to be brought before his Tutor, technically called hoisting him to his Tutor. The threat was commonly sufficient to exact the service.—Willard's Memories of Youth and Manhood, Vol. I. p. 259.

HOLD INS. At Bowdoin College, "near the commencement of each year," says a correspondent, "the Sophs are wont, on some particular evening, to attempt to 'hold in' the Freshmen when coming out of prayers, generally producing quite a skirmish."

HOLLIS. Mr. Thomas Hollis of Lincoln's Inn, to whom, with many others of the same name, Harvard College is so much indebted, among other presents to its library, gave "sixty-four volumes of valuable books, curiously bound." To these reference is made in the following extract from the Gentleman's Magazine for September, 1781. "Mr. Hollis employed Mr. Fingo to cut a number of emblematical devices, such as the caduceus of Mercury, the wand of AEsculapius, the owl, the cap of liberty, &c.; and these devices were to adorn the backs and sometimes the sides of books. When patriotism animated a work, instead of unmeaning ornaments on the binding, he adorned it with caps of liberty. When wisdom filled the page, the owl's majestic gravity bespoke its contents. The caduceus pointed out the works of eloquence, and the wand of AEsculapius was a signal of good medicine. The different emblems were used on the same book, when possessed of different merits, and to express his disapprobation of the whole or parts of any work, the figure or figures were reversed. Thus each cover exhibited a critique on the book, and was a proof that they were not kept for show, as he must read before he could judge. Read this, ye admirers of gilded books, and imitate."

HONORARIUM, HONORARY. A term applied, in Europe, to the recompense offered to professors in universities, and to medical or other professional gentlemen for their services. It is nearly equivalent to fee, with the additional idea of being given honoris causa, as a token of respect.—Brande. Webster.

There are regular receivers, quaestors, appointed for the reception of the honorarium, or charge for the attendance of lectures.—Howitt's Student Life of Germany, Am. ed., p. 30.

HONORIS CAUSA. Latin; as an honor. Any honorary degree given by a college.

Degrees in the faculties of Divinity and Law are conferred, at present, either in course, honoris causa, or on admission ad eundem.—Calendar Trin. Coll., 1850, p. 10.

HONORS. In American colleges, the principal honors are appointments as speakers at Exhibitions and Commencements. These are given for excellence in scholarship. The appointments for Exhibitions are different in different colleges. Those of Commencement do not vary so much. The following is a list of the appointments at Harvard College, in the order in which they are usually assigned: Valedictory Oration, called also the English Oration, Salutatory in Latin, English Orations, Dissertations, Disquisitions, and Essays. The salutatorian is not always the second scholar in the class, but must be the best, or, in case this distinction is enjoyed by the valedictorian, the second-best Latin scholar. Latin or Greek poems or orations or English poems sometimes form a part of the exercises, and may be assigned, as are the other appointments, to persons in the first part of the class. At Yale College the order is as follows: Valedictory Oration, Salutatory in Latin, Philosophical Orations, Orations, Dissertations, Disputations, and Colloquies. A person who receives the appointment of a Colloquy can either write or speak in a colloquy, or write a poem. Any other appointee can also write a poem. Other colleges usually adopt one or the other of these arrangements, or combine the two.

At the University of Cambridge, Eng., those who at the final examination in the Senate-House are classed as Wranglers, Senior Optimes, or Junior Optimes, are said to go out in honors.

I very early in the Sophomore year gave up all thoughts of obtaining high honors.—Bristed's Five Years in an Eng. Univ., Ed. 2d, p. 6.

HOOD. An ornamented fold that hangs down the back of a graduate, to mark his degree.—Johnson.

My head with ample square-cap crown, And deck with hood my shoulders. The Student, Oxf. and Cam., Vol. I. p. 349.

HORN-BLOWING. At Princeton College, the students often provide themselves at night with horns, bugles, &c., climb the trees in the Campus, and set up a blowing which is continued as long as prudence and safety allow.

HORSE-SHEDDING. At the University of Vermont, among secret and literary societies, this term is used to express the idea conveyed by the word electioneering.

HOUSE. A college. The word was formerly used with this signification in Harvard and Yale Colleges.

If any scholar shall transgress any of the laws of God, or the House, he shall be liable, &c.—Quincy's Hist. Harv. Univ., Vol. I. p. 517.

If detriment come by any out of the society, then those officers [the butler and cook] themselves shall be responsible to the House.—Ibid., Vol. I. p. 583.

A member of the college was also called a Member of the House.

The steward is to see that one third part be reserved of all the payments to him by the members of the House quarterly made.—Quincy's Hist. Harv. Univ., Vol. I. p. 582.

A college officer was called an Officer of the House.

The steward shall be bound to give an account of the necessary disbursements which have been issued out to the steward himself, butler, cook, or any other officer of the House.—Quincy's Hist. Harv. Univ., Vol. I. p. 582.

Neither shall the butler or cook suffer any scholar or scholars whatever, except the Fellows, Masters of Art, Fellow-Commoners or officers of the House, to come into the butteries, &c.—Ibid., Vol. I. p. 584.

Before the year 1708, the term Fellows of the House was applied, at Harvard College, both to the members of the Corporation, and to the instructors who did not belong to the Corporation. The equivocal meaning of this title was noticed by President Leverett, for, in his duplicate record of the proceedings of the Corporation and the Overseers, he designated certain persons to whom he refers as "Fellows of the House, i.e. of the Corporation." Soon after this, an attempt was made to distinguish between these two classes of Fellows, and in 1711 the distinction was settled, when one Whiting, "who had been for several years known as Tutor and 'Fellow of the House,' but had never in consequence been deemed or pretended to be a member of the Corporation, was admitted to a seat in that board."—Quincy's Hist. Harv. Univ., Vol. I. pp. 278, 279. See SCHOLAR OF THE HOUSE.

2. An assembly for transacting business.


HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES. At Union College, the members of the Junior Class compose what is called the House of Representatives, a body organized after the manner of the national House, for the purpose of becoming acquainted with the forms and manner of legislation. The following account has been furnished by a member of that College.

"At the end of the third term, Sophomore year, when the members of that class are looking forward to the honors awaiting them, comes off the initiation to the House. The Friday of the tenth week is the day usually selected for the occasion. On the afternoon of that day the Sophomores assemble in the Junior recitation-room, and, after organizing themselves by the appointment of a chairman, are waited upon by a committee of the House of Representatives of the Junior Class, who announce that they are ready to proceed with the initiation, and occasionally dilate upon the importance and responsibility of the future position of the Sophomores.

"The invitation thus given is accepted, and the class, headed by the committee, proceeds to the Representatives' Hall. On their arrival, the members of the House retire, and the incoming members, under the direction of the committee, arrange themselves around the platform of the Speaker, all in the room at the same time rising in their seats. The Speaker of the House now addresses the Sophomores, announcing to them their election to the high position of Representatives, and exhorting them to discharge well all their duties to their constituents and their common country. He closes, by stating it to be their first business to elect the officers of the House.

"The election of Speaker, Vice-Speaker, Clerk, and Treasurer by ballot then follows, two tellers being appointed by the Chair. The Speaker is elected for one year, and must be one of the Faculty; the other officers hold only during the ensuing term. The Speaker, however, is never expected to be present at the meetings of the House, with the exception of that at the beginning of each term session, so that the whole duty of presiding falls on the Vice-Speaker. This is the only meeting of the new House during that term.

"On the second Friday afternoon of the fall term, the Speaker usually delivers an inaugural address, and soon after leaves the chair to the Vice-Speaker, who then announces the representation from the different States, and also the list of committees. The members are apportioned by him according to population, each State having at least one, and some two or three, as the number of the Junior Class may allow. The committees are constituted in the manner common to the National House, the number of each, however, being less. Business then follows, as described in Jefferson's Manual; petitions, remonstrances, resolutions, reports, debates, and all the 'toggery' of legislation, come on in regular, or rather irregular succession. The exercises, as may be well conceived, furnish an excellent opportunity for improvement in parliamentary tactics and political oratory."

The House of Representatives was founded by Professor John Austin Tates. It is not constituted by every Junior Class, and may be regarded as intermittent in its character.


HUMANIST. One who pursues the study of the humanities (literae humaniores), or polite literature; a term used in various European universities, especially the Scotch.—Brandt.

HUMANITY, pl. HUMANITIES. In the plural signifying grammar, rhetoric, the Latin and Greek languages, and poetry; for teaching which there are professors in the English and Scotch universities. —Encyc.

HUMMEL. At the University of Vermont, a foot, especially a large one.

HYPHENUTE. At Princeton College, the aristocratic or would-be aristocratic in dress, manners, &c., are called Hyphenutes. Used both as a noun and adjective. Same as [Greek: Oi Aristoi] q.v.


ILLUMINATE. To interline with a translation. Students illuminate a book when they write between the printed lines a translation of the text. Illuminated books are preferred by good judges to ponies or hobbies, as the text and translation in them are brought nearer to one another. The idea of calling books thus prepared illuminated, is taken partly from the meaning of the word illuminate, to adorn with ornamental letters, substituting, however, in this case, useful for ornamental, and partly from one of its other meanings, to throw light on, as on obscure subjects.

ILLUSTRATION. That which elucidates a subject. A word used with a peculiar application by undergraduates in the University of Cambridge, Eng.

I went back,... and did a few more bits of illustration, such as noting down the relative resources of Athens and Sparta when the Peloponnesian war broke out, and the sources of the Athenian revenue.—Bristed's Five Years in an Eng. Univ., Ed. 2d, p. 51.

IMPOSITION. In the English universities, a supernumerary exercise enjoined on students as a punishment.

Minor offences are punished by rustication, and those of a more trivial nature by fines, or by literary tasks, here termed Impositions.—Oxford Guide, p. 149.

Literary tasks called impositions, or frequent compulsive attendances on tedious and unimproving exercises in a college hall.—T. Warton, Minor Poems of Milton, p. 432.

Impositions are of various lengths. For missing chapel, about one hundred lines to copy; for missing a lecture, the lecture to translate. This is the measure for an occasional offence.... For coming in late at night repeatedly, or for any offence nearly deserving rustication, I have known a whole book of Thucydides given to translate, or the Ethics of Aristotle to analyze, when the offender has been a good scholar, while others, who could only do mechanical work, have had a book of Euclid to write out.

Long impositions are very rarely barberized. When college tutors intend to be severe, which is very seldom, they are not to be trifled with.

At Cambridge, impositions are not always in writing, but sometimes two or three hundred lines to repeat by heart. This is ruin to the barber.—Collegian's Guide, pp. 159, 160.

In an abbreviated form, impos.

He is obliged to stomach the impos., and retire.—Grad. ad Cantab., p. 125.

He satisfies the Proctor and the Dean by saying a part of each impos.Ibid., p. 128.


INCEPT. To take the degree of Master of Arts.

They may nevertheless take the degree of M.A. at the usual period, by putting their names on the College boards a few days previous to incepting.—Cambridge Calendar.

The M.A. incepts in about three years and two months from the time of taking his first degree.—Bristed's Five Years in an Eng. Univ., Ed. 2d, p. 285.

INCEPTOR. One who has proceeded to the degree of M.A., but who, not enjoying all the privileges of an M.A. until the Commencement, is in the mean time termed an Inceptor.

Used in the English universities, and formerly at Harvard College.

And, in case any of the Sophisters, Questionists, or Inceptors fail in the premises required at their hands ... they shall be deferred to the following year.—Laws of 1650, in Quincy's Hist. Harv. Univ., Vol. I. p. 518.

The Admissio Inceptorum was as follows: "Admitto te ad secundum gradum in artibus pro more Academiarum in Anglia: tibique trado hunc librum una cum potestate publice profitendi, ubicunque ad hoc munus publice evocatus fueris."—Ibid., Vol. I. p. 580.

INDIAN SOCIETY. At the Collegiate Institute of Indiana, a society of smokers was established, in the year 1837, by an Indian named Zachary Colbert, and called the Indian Society. The members and those who have been invited to join the society, to the number of sixty or eighty, are accustomed to meet in a small room, ten feet by eighteen; all are obliged to smoke, and he who first desists is required to pay for the cigars smoked at that meeting.

INDIGO. At Dartmouth College, a member of the party called the Blues. The same as a BLUE, which see.

The Howes, years ago, used to room in Dartmouth Hall, though none room there now, and so they made up some verses. Here is one:—

"Hurrah for Dartmouth Hall! Success to every student That rooms in Dartmouth Hall, Unless he be an Indigo, Then, no success at all." The Dartmouth, Vol. IV. p. 117.

INITIATION. Secret societies exist in almost all the colleges in the United States, which require those who are admitted to pass through certain ceremonies called the initiation. This fact is often made use of to deceive Freshmen, upon their entrance into college, who are sometimes initiated into societies which have no existence, and again into societies where initiation is not necessary for membership.

A correspondent from Dartmouth College writes as follows: "I believe several of the colleges have various exercises of initiating Freshmen. Ours is done by the 'United Fraternity,' one of our library societies (they are neither of them secret), which gives out word that the initiation is a fearful ceremony. It is simply every kind of operation that can be contrived to terrify, and annoy, and make fun of Freshmen, who do not find out for some time that it is not the necessary and serious ceremony of making them members of the society."

In the University of Virginia, students on entering are sometimes initiated into the ways of college life by very novel and unique ceremonies, an account of which has been furnished by a graduate of that institution. "The first thing, by way of admitting the novitiate to all the mysteries of college life, is to require of him in an official communication, under apparent signature of one of the professors, a written list, tested under oath, of the entire number of his shirts and other necessary articles in his wardrobe. The list he is requested to commit to memory, and be prepared for an examination on it, before the Faculty, at some specified hour. This the new-comer usually passes with due satisfaction, and no little trepidation, in the presence of an august assemblage of his student professors. He is now remanded to his room to take his bed, and to rise about midnight bell for breakfast. The 'Callithumpians' (in this Institution a regularly organized company), 'Squallinaders,' or 'Masquers,' perform their part during the livelong night with instruments 'harsh thunder grating,' to insure to the poor youth a sleepless night, and give him full time to con over and curse in his heart the miseries of a college existence. Our fellow-comrade is now up, dressed, and washed, perhaps two hours in advance of the first light of dawn, and, under the guidance of a posse comitatus of older students, is kindly conducted to his morning meal. A long alley, technically 'Green Alley,' terminating with a brick wall, informing all, 'Thus far shalt thou go, and no farther,' is pointed out to him, with directions 'to follow his nose and keep straight ahead.' Of course the unsophisticated finds himself completely nonplused, and gropes his way back, amidst the loud vociferations of 'Go it, green un!' With due apologies for the treatment he has received, and violent denunciations against the former posse for their unheard-of insolence towards the gentleman, he is now placed under different guides, who volunteer their services 'to see him through.' Suffice it to be said, that he is again egregiously 'taken in,' being deposited in the Rotunda or Lecture-room, and told to ring for whatever he wants, either coffee or hot biscuit, but particularly enjoined not to leave without special permission from one of the Faculty. The length of his sojourn in this place, where he is finally left, is of course in proportion to his state of verdancy."

INSPECTOR OF THE COLLEGE. At Yale College, a person appointed to ascertain, inspect, and estimate all damages done to the College buildings and appurtenances, whenever required by the President. All repairs, additions, and alterations are made under his inspection, and he is also authorized to determine whether the College chambers are fit for the reception of the students. Formerly the inspectorship in Harvard College was held by one of the members of the College government. His duty was to examine the state of the College public buildings, and also at stated times to examine the exterior and interior of the buildings occupied by the students, and to cause such repairs to be made as were in his opinion proper. The same duties are now performed by the Superintendent of Public Buildings.—Laws Yale Coll., 1837, p. 22. Laws Harv. Coll., 1814, p. 58, and 1848, p 29.

The duties of the Inspector of the College Buildings, at Middlebury, are similar to those required of the inspector at Yale.—Laws Md. Coll., 1839, pp. 15, 16.

IN STATU PUPILLARI. Latin; literally, in a state of pupilage. In the English universities, one who is subject to collegiate laws, discipline, and officers is said to be in statu pupillari.

And the short space that here we tarry, At least "in statu pupillari," Forbids our growing hopes to germ, Alas! beyond the appointed term. Grad. ad Cantab., p. 109.

INTERLINEAR. A printed book, with a written translation between the lines. The same as an illuminated book; for an account of which, see under ILLUMINATE.

Then devotes himself to study, with a steady, earnest zeal, And scorns an Interlinear, or a Pony's meek appeal. Poem before Iadma, 1850, p. 20.


In the "Memorial of John S. Popkin, D.D.," a Professor at Harvard College, Professor Felton observes: "He was a mortal enemy to translations, 'interliners,' and all such subsidiary helps in learning lessons; he classed them all under the opprobrious name of 'facilities,' and never scrupled to seize them as contraband goods. When he withdrew from College, he had a large and valuable collection of this species of literature. In one of the notes to his Three Lectures he says: 'I have on hand a goodly number of these confiscated wares, full of manuscript innotations, which I seized in the way of duty, and would now restore to the owners on demand, without their proving property or paying charges.'"—p. lxxvii.

Ponies, Interliners, Ticks, Screws, and Deads (these are all college verbalities) were all put under contribution.—A Tour through College, Boston, 1832, p. 25.

INTONITANS BOLUS. Greek, [Greek: bolos], a lump. Latin, bolus, a bit, a morsel. English, bolus, a mass of anything made into a large pill. It may be translated a thundering pill. At Harvard College, the Intonitans Bolus was a great cane or club which was given nominally to the strongest fellow in the graduating class; "but really," says a correspondent, "to the greatest bully," and thus was transmitted, as an entailed estate, to the Samsons of College. If any one felt that he had been wronged in not receiving this emblem of valor, he was permitted to take it from its possessor if he could. In later years the club presented a very curious appearance; being almost entirely covered with the names of those who had held it, carved on its surface in letters of all imaginable shapes and descriptions. At one period, it was in the possession of Richard Jeffrey Cleveland, a member of the class of 1827, and was by him transmitted to Jonathan Saunderson of the class of 1828. It has disappeared within the last fifteen or twenty years, and its hiding-place, even if it is in existence, is not known.


INVALID'S TABLE. At Yale College, in former times, a table at which those who were not in health could obtain more nutritious food than was supplied at the common board. A graduate at that institution has referred to the subject in the annexed extract. "It was extremely difficult to obtain permission to board out, and indeed impossible except in extreme cases: the beginning of such permits would have been like the letting out of water. To take away all pretext for it, an 'invalid's table' was provided, where, if one chose to avail himself of it, having a doctor's certificate that his health required it, he might have a somewhat different diet."—Scenes and Characters in College, New Haven, 1847, pp. 117, 118.


JACK-KNIFE. At Harvard College it has long been the custom for the ugliest member of the Senior Class to receive from his classmates a Jack-knife, as a reward or consolation for the plainness of his features. In former times, it was transmitted from class to class, its possessor in the graduating class presenting it to the one who was deemed the ugliest in the class next below.

Mr. William Biglow, a member of the class of 1794, the recipient for that year of the Jack-knife,—in an article under the head of "Omnium Gatherum," published in the Federal Orrery, April 27, 1795, entitled, "A Will: Being the last words of CHARLES CHATTERBOX, Esq., late worthy and much lamented member of the Laughing Club of Harvard University, who departed college life, June 21, 1794, in the twenty-first year of his age,"—presents this transmittendum to his successor, with the following words:—

"Item. C—— P——s[41] has my knife, During his natural college life; That knife, which ugliness inherits, And due to his superior merits, And when from Harvard he shall steer, I order him to leave it here, That't may from class to class descend, Till time and ugliness shall end."

Mr. Prentiss, in the autumn of 1795, soon after graduating, commenced the publication of the Rural Repository, at Leominster, Mass. In one of the earliest numbers of this paper, following the example of Mr. Biglow, he published his will, which Mr. Paine, the editor of the Federal Orrery, immediately transferred to his columns with this introductory note:—"Having, in the second number of 'Omnium Gatherum' presented to our readers the last will and testament of Charles Chatterbox, Esq., of witty memory, wherein the said Charles, now deceased, did lawfully bequeath to Ch——s Pr——s the celebrated 'Ugly Knife,' to be by him transmitted, at his college demise, to the next succeeding candidate; ———— and whereas the said Ch——s Pr——s, on the 21st of June last, departed his aforesaid college life, thereby leaving to the inheritance of his successor the valuable legacy which his illustrious friend had bequeathed, as an entailed estate, to the poets of the university,—we have thought proper to insert a full, true, and attested copy of the will of the last deceased heir, in order that the world may be furnished with a correct genealogy of this renowned Jack-knife, whose pedigree will become as illustrious in after time as the family of the 'ROLLES,' and which will be celebrated by future wits as the most formidable weapon of modern genius."

That part of the will only is here inserted which refers particularly to the Knife. It is as follows:—

"I—I say I, now make this will; Let those whom I assign fulfil. I give, grant, render, and convey My goods and chattels thus away; That honor of a college life, That celebrated UGLY KNIFE, Which predecessor SAWNEY[42] orders, Descending to time's utmost borders, To noblest bard of homeliest phiz, To have and hold and use, as his, I now present C——s P——y S——r,[43] To keep with his poetic lumber, To scrape his quid, and make a split, To point his pen for sharpening wit; And order that he ne'er abuse Said ugly knife, in dirtier use, And let said CHARLES, that best of writers, In prose satiric skilled to bite us, And equally in verse delight us, Take special care to keep it clean From unpoetic hands,—I ween. And when those walls, the muses' seat, Said S——r is obliged to quit, Let some one of APOLLO'S firing, To such heroic joys aspiring, Who long has borne a poet's name, With said Knife cut his way to fame." See Buckingham's Reminiscences, Vol. II. pp. 281, 270.

Tradition asserts that the original Jack-knife was terminated at one end of the handle by a large blade, and at the other by a projecting piece of iron, to which a chain of the same metal was attached, and that it was customary to carry it in the pocket fastened by this chain to some part of the person. When this was lost, and the custom of transmitting the Knife went out of fashion, the class, guided by no rule but that of their own fancy, were accustomed to present any thing in the shape of a knife, whether oyster or case, it made no difference. In one instance a wooden one was given, and was immediately burned by the person who received it. At present the Jack-knife is voted to the ugliest member of the Senior Class, at the meeting for the election of officers for Class Day, and the sum appropriated for its purchase varies in different years from fifty cents to twenty dollars. The custom of presenting the Jack-knife is one of the most amusing of those which have come down to us from the past, and if any conclusion may be drawn from the interest which is now manifested in its observance, it is safe to infer, in the words of the poet, that it will continue "Till time and ugliness shall end."

In the Collegiate Institute of Indiana, a Jack-knife is given to the greatest liar, as a reward of merit.


JAPANNED. A cant term in use at the University of Cambridge, Eng., explained in the following passage. "Many ... step ... into the Church, without any pretence of other change than in the attire of their outward man,—the being 'japanned,' as assuming the black dress and white cravat is called in University slang."—Bristed's Five Years in an Eng. Univ., Ed. 2d, p. 344.

JESUIT. At the University of Cambridge, Eng., a member of Jesus College.

JOBATION. At the University of Cambridge, Eng., a sharp reprimand from the Dean for some offence, not eminently heinous.

Thus dismissed the august presence, he recounts this jobation to his friends, and enters into a discourse on masters, deans, tutors, and proctors.—Grad. ad Cantab., p. 124.

JOBE. To reprove; to reprimand. "In the University of Cambridge, [Eng.,] the young scholars are wont to call chiding, jobing."—Grad. ad Cantab.

I heard a lively young man assert, that, in consequence of an intimation from the tutor relative to his irregularities, his father came from the country to jobe him.—Gent. Mag., Dec. 1794.

JOE. A name given at several American colleges to a privy. It is said that when Joseph Penney was President of Hamilton College, a request from the students that the privies might be cleansed was met by him with a denial. In consequence of this refusal, the offices were purified by fire on the night of November 5th. The derivation of the word, allowing the truth of this story, is apparent.

The following account of Joe-Burning is by a correspondent from Hamilton College:—"On the night of the 5th of November, every year, the Sophomore Class burn 'Joe.' A large pile is made of rails, logs, and light wood, in the form of a triangle. The space within is filled level to the top, with all manner of combustibles. A 'Joe' is then sought for by the class, carried from its foundations on a rude bier, and placed on this pile. The interior is filled with wood and straw, surrounding a barrel of tar placed in the middle, over all of which gallons of turpentine are thrown, and then set fire to. From the top of the lofty hill on which the College buildings are situated, this fire can be seen for twenty miles around. The Sophomores are all disguised in the most odd and grotesque dresses. A ring is formed around the burning 'Joe,' and a chant is sung. Horses of the neighbors are obtained and ridden indiscriminately, without saddle or bridle. The burning continues usually until daylight."

Ponamus Convivium Josephi in locum Et id uremus. Convivii Exsequiae, Hamilton Coll., 1850.

JOHNIAN. A member of St. John's College in the University of Cambridge, Eng.

The Johnians are always known by the name of pigs; they put up a new organ the other day, which was immediately christened "Baconi Novum Organum."—Westminster Rev., Am. ed., Vol. XXXV., p 236.

JUN. Abbreviated for Junior.

The target for all the venomed darts of rowdy Sophs, magnificent Juns, and lazy Senes.—The Yale Banger, Nov. 10, 1846.

JUNE. An abbreviation of Junior.

I once to Yale a Fresh did come, But now a jolly June, Returning to my distant home, I bear the wooden spoon. Songs of Yale, 1853, p. 36.

But now, when no longer a Fresh or a Soph, Each blade is a gentleman June. Ibid., p. 39.

JUNE TRAINING. The following interesting and entertaining account of one of the distinguishing customs of the University of Vermont, is from the pen of one of her graduates, to whom the editor of this work is under many obligations for the valuable assistance he has rendered in effecting the completeness of this Collection.

"In the old time when militia trainings were in fashion, the authorities of Burlington decided that, whereas the students of the University of Vermont claimed and were allowed the right of suffrage, they were to be considered citizens, and consequently subject to military duty. The students having refused to appear on parade, were threatened with prosecution; and at last they determined to make their appearance. This they did on a certain 'training day,' (the year I do not recollect,) to the full satisfaction of the authorities, who did not expect such a parade, and had no desire to see it repeated. But the students being unwilling to expose themselves to 'the rigor of the law,' paraded annually; and when at last the statute was repealed and militia musters abolished, they continued the practice for the sake of old association. Thus it passed into a custom, and the first Wednesday of June is as eagerly anticipated by the citizens of Burlington and the youth of the surrounding country for its 'training,' as is the first Wednesday of August for its annual Commencement. The Faculty always smile propitiously, and in the afternoon the performance commences. The army, or more euphoniously the 'UNIVERSITY INVINCIBLES,' take up 'their line of march' from the College campus, and proceed through all the principal streets to the great square, where, in the presence of an immense audience, a speech is delivered by the Commander-in-chief, and a sermon by the Chaplain, the roll is called, and the annual health report is read by the surgeon. These productions are noted for their patriotism and fervid eloquence rather than high literary merit. Formerly the music to which they marched consisted solely of the good old-fashioned drum and fife; but of late years the Invincibles have added to these a brass band, composed of as many obsolete instruments as can be procured, in the hands of inexperienced performers. None who have ever handled a musical instrument before are allowed to become members of the band, lest the music should be too sweet and regular to comport with the general order of the parade. The uniform (or rather the multiform) of the company varies from year to year, owing to the regulation that each soldier shall consult his own taste,—provided that no two are to have the same taste in their equipments. The artillery consists of divers joints of rusty stove-pipe, in each of which is inserted a toy cannon of about one quarter of an inch calibre, mounted on an old dray, and drawn by as many horse-apologies as can be conveniently attached to it. When these guns are discharged, the effect—as might be expected—is terrific. The banners, built of cotton sheeting and mounted on a rake-handle, although they do not always exhibit great artistic genius, often display vast originality of design. For instance, one contained on the face a diagram (done in ink with the wrong end of a quill) of the pons asinorum, with the rather belligerent inscription, 'REMEMBER NAPOLEON AT LODI.' On the reverse was the head of an extremely doubtful-looking individual viewing 'his natural face in a glass.' Inscription,—'O wad some pow'r the giftie gie us To see oursel's as others see us.'

"The surgeon's equipment is an ox-cart containing jars of drugs (most of them marked 'N.E.R.' and 'O.B.J.'), boxes of homoeopathic pills (about the size of a child's head), immense saws and knives, skeletons of animals, &c.; over which preside the surgeon and his assistant in appropriate dresses, with tin spectacles. This surgeon is generally the chief feature of the parade, and his reports are astonishing additions to the surgical lore of our country. He is the wit of the College,—the one who above all others is celebrated for the loudest laugh, the deepest bumper, the best joke, and the poorest song. How well he sustains his reputation may be known by listening to his annual reading, or by reference to the reports of 'Trotwood,' 'Gubbins,' or 'Deppity Sawbones,' who at different times have immortalized themselves by their contributions to science. The cavalcade is preceded by the 'pioneers,' who clear the way for the advancing troops; which is generally effected by the panic among the boys, occasioned by the savage aspect of the pioneers,—their faces being hideously painted, and their dress consisting of gleanings from every costume, Christian, Pagan, and Turkish, known among men. As the body passes through the different streets, the martial men receive sundry testimonials of regard and approval in the shape of boquets and wreaths from the fair 'Peruvians,' who of course bestow them on those who, in their opinion, have best succeeded in the object of the day,—uncouth appearance. After the ceremonies, the students quietly congregate in some room in college to count these favors and to ascertain who is to be considered the hero of the day, as having rendered himself pre-eminently ridiculous. This honor generally falls to the lot of the surgeon. As the sun sinks behind the Adirondacs over the lake, the parade ends; the many lookers-on having nothing to see but the bright visions of the next year's training, retire to their homes; while the now weary students, gathered in knots in the windows of the upper stories, lazily and comfortably puff their black pipes, and watch the lessening forms of the retreating countrymen."

Further to elucidate the peculiarities of the June Training, the annexed account of the custom, as it was observed on the first Wednesday in June of the current year, is here inserted, taken from the "Daily Free Press," published at Burlington, June 8th, 1855.

"The annual parade of the principal military body in Vermont is an event of importance. The first Wednesday in June, the day assigned to it, is becoming the great day of the year in Burlington. Already it rivals, if it does not exceed, Commencement day in glory and honor. The people crowd in from the adjoining towns, the steamboats bring numbers from across the lake, and the inhabitants of the town turn out in full force. The yearly recurrence of such scenes shows the fondness of the people for a hearty laugh, and the general acceptableness of the entertainment provided.

"The day of the parade this year was a very favorable one,—without dust, and neither too hot nor too cold for comfort The performances properly—or rather improperly—commenced in the small hours of the night previous by the discharge of a cannon in front of the college buildings, which, as the cannon was stupidly or wantonly pointed towards the college buildings, blew in several hundred panes of glass. We have not heard that anybody laughed at this piece of heavy wit.

"At four o'clock in the afternoon, the Invincibles took up their line of march, with scream of fife and roll of drum, down Pearl Street to the Square, where the flying artillery discharged a grand national salute of one gun; thence to the Exchange, where a halt was made and a refreshment of water partaken of by the company, and then to the Square in front of the American, where they were duly paraded, reviewed, exhorted, and reported upon, in presence of two or three thousand people.

"The scene presented was worth seeing. The windows of the American and Wheeler's Block had all been taken out, and were filled with bright female faces; the roofs of the same buildings were lined with spectators, and the top of the portico of the American was a condensed mass of loveliness and bright colors. The Town Hall windows, steps, doors, &c. were also filled. Every good look-out anywhere near the spot was occupied, and a dense mass of by-standers and lookers-on in carriages crowded the southern part of the Square.

"Of the cortege itself, the pencil of a Hogarth only could give an adequate idea. The valorous Colonel Brick was of course the centre of all eyes. He was fitly supported by his two aids. The three were in elegant uniforms, were handsomely mounted, rode well and with gallant bearing, and presented a particularly attractive appearance.

"Behind them appeared a scarlet robe, surmounted by a white wig of Brobdinagian dimensions and spectacles to match, which it is supposed contained in the interior the physical system of the Reverendissimus Boanerges Diogenes Lanternarius, Chaplain, the whole mounted upon the vertebrae of a solemn-looking donkey.

"The representative of the Church Militant was properly backed up by the Flying Artillery. Their banner announced that they were 'for the reduction of Sebastopol,' and it is safe to say that they will certainly take that fortress, if they get a chance. If the Russians hold out against those four ghostly steeds, tandem, with their bandy-legged and kettle-stomached riders,—that gun, so strikingly like a joint of old stove-pipe in its exterior, but which upon occasion could vomit forth your real smoke and sound and smell of unmistakable brimstone,—and those slashed and blood-stained artillerymen,—they will do more than anybody did on Wednesday.

"The T.L.N. Horn-et Band, with Sackbut, Psaltery, Dulcimer, and Shawm, Tanglang, Locofodeon, and Hugag, marched next. They reserved their efforts for special occasions, when they woke the echoes with strains of altogether unearthly music, composed for them expressly by Saufylur, the eminent self-taught New Zealand composer.

"Barnum's Baby-Show, on four wheels, in charge of the great showman himself, aided by that experienced nurse, Mrs. Gamp, in somewhat dilapidated attire, followed. The babies, from a span long to an indefinite length, of all shapes and sizes, black, white, and snuff-colored, twins, triplets, quartettes, and quincunxes, in calico and sackcloth, and in a state of nature, filled the vehicle, and were hung about it by the leg or neck or middle. A half-starved quadruped of osseous and slightly equine appearance drew the concern, and the shrieking axles drowned the cries of the innocents.

"Mr. Joseph Hiss and Mrs. Patterson of Massachusetts were not absent. Joseph's rubicund complexion, brassy and distinctly Know-Nothing look, and nasal organ well developed by his experience on the olfactory committee, were just what might have been expected. The 'make up' of Mrs. P., a bright brunette, was capital, and she looked the woman, if not the lady, to perfection. The two appeared in a handsome livery buggy, paid for, we suppose, by the State of Massachusetts.

"A wagon-load of two or three tattered and desperate looking individuals, labelled 'Recruits for the Crimea,' with a generous supply of old iron and brick-bats as material of war, was dragged along by the frame and most of the skin of what was once a horse.

"Towards the rear, but by no means least in consequence or in the amount of attention attracted, was the army hospital, drawn by two staid and well-fed oxen. In front appeared the snowy locks and 'fair round belly, with good cotton lined' of the worthy Dr. Esculapius Liverwort Tarand Cantchuget-urlegawa Opodeldoc, while by his side his assistant sawbones brayed in a huge iron mortar, with a weighty pestle, much noise, and indefatigable zeal, the drugs and dye-stuffs. Thigh-bones, shoulder-blades, vertebrae, and even skulls, hanging round the establishment, testified to the numerous and successful amputations performed by the skilful surgeon.

"Noticeable among the cavalry were Don Quixote de la U.V.M., Knight of the patent-leather gaiters, terrible in his bright rectangular cuirass of tin (once a tea-chest), and his glittering harpoon; his doughty squire, Sancho Panza; and a dashing young lady, whose tasteful riding-dress of black cambric, wealth of embroidered skirts and undersleeves, and bold riding, took not a little attention.

"Of the rank and file on foot it is useless to attempt a description. Beards of awful size, moustaches of every shade and length under a foot, phizzes of all colors and contortions, four-story hats with sky-scraping feathers, costumes ring-streaked, speckled, monstrous, and incredible, made up the motley crew. There was a Northern emigrant just returned from Kansas, with garments torn and water-soaked, and but half cleaned of the adhesive tar and feathers, watched closely by a burly Missourian, with any quantity of hair and fire-arms and bowie-knives. There were Rev. Antoinette Brown, and Neal Dow; there was a darky whose banner proclaimed his faith in Stowe and Seward and Parker, an aboriginal from the prairies, an ancient minstrel with a modern fiddle, and a modern minstrel with an ancient hurdy- gurdy. All these and more. Each man was a study in himself, and to all, Falstaff's description of his recruits would apply:—

"'My whole charge consists of corporals, lieutenants, gentlemen of companies, slaves as ragged as Lazarus in the painted cloth, where the glutton's dogs licked his sores; the cankers of a calm world and a long peace; ten times more dishonorable ragged than an old-faced ancient: and such have I, that you would think I had a hundred and fifty tattered prodigals lately come from swine-keeping, from eating draff and husks. A mad fellow met me on the way and told me I had unloaded all the gibbets and pressed the dead bodies. No eye hath seen such scarecrows.'

"The proceedings on the review were exciting. After the calling of the roll, the idol of his regiment, Col. Martin Van Buren Brick, discharged an eloquent and touching speech.

"From the report of Dr. Opodeldoc, which was thirty-six feet in length, we can of course give but a few extracts. He commenced by informing the Invincibles that his cures the year past had been more astounding than ever, and that his fame would continue to grow brighter and brighter, until eclipsed by the advent of some younger Dr. Esculapius Liverwort Tar Cant-ye-get-your-leg-away Opodeldoc, who in after years would shoot up like a meteor and reproduce his father's greatness; and went on as follows:—

"'The first academic that appeared after the last report was the desideratum graduatere, or graduating fever. Twenty-seven were taken down. Symptoms, morality in the head,—dignity in the walk, —hints about graduating,—remarkable tendency to swell,—literary movement of the superior and inferior maxillary bones, &c., &c. Strictures on bleeding were first applied; then treating homoeopathically similis similibus, applied roots extracted, roots Latin and Greek, infinitesimal extracts of calculus, mathematical formulas, psychological inductions, &c., &c. No avail. Finally applied huge sheep-skin plasters under the axilla, with a composition of printers' ink, paste, paper, ribbons, and writing-ink besmeared thereon, and all were despatched in one short day.

"'Sophomore Exhibition furnished many cases. One man hit by a Soph-bug, drove eye down into stomach, carrying with it brains and all inside of the head. In order to draw them back to their proper place, your Surgeon caused a leaf from Barnum's Autobiography to be placed on patient's head, thinking that to contain more true, genuine suction than anything yet discovered.

* * * * *

"'Nebraska cancers have appeared in our ranks, especially in Missouri division. Surgeon recommends 385 eighty-pounders be loaded to the muzzle, first with blank cartridges,—to wit, Frank Pierce and Stephen A. Douglas, Free-Soil sermons, Fern Leaves, Hot Corn, together with all the fancy literature of the day,—and cause the same to be fired upon the disputed territory; this would cause all the breakings out to be removed, and drive off everybody.'

"The close of the report was as follows. It affected many even to tears.

"'May you all remember your Surgeon, and may your thoracic duck ever continue to sail peacefully down the common carrotted arteries, under the keystone of the arch of the aorta, and not rush madly into the abominable cavity and eclipse the semi-lunar dandelions, nor, still worse, play the dickens with the pneumogastric nerve and auxiliary artery, reverse the doododen, upset the flamingo, irritate the high-old-glossus, and be for ever lost in the receptaculum chyli. No, no, but, &c. Yours feelingly,

'Dr. E.L.T.C.O., M.D.'

"Dr. O., we notice, has added a new branch, that of dentistry, to his former accomplishments. By his new system, his customers are not obliged to undergo the pain of the operations in person, but, by merely sending their heads to him, can have everything done with a great decrease of trouble. From a calf's head thus sent in, the Doctor, after cutting the gums with a hay-cutter, and filing between the teeth with a wood-saw, skilfully extracted with a pair of blacksmith tongs a very great number of molars and incisors.

"Miss Lucy Amazonia Crura Longa Lignea, thirteen feet high, and Mr. Rattleshanks Don Skyphax, a swain a foot taller, advanced from the ranks, and were made one by the chaplain. The bride promised to own the groom, but protested formally against his custody of her person, property, and progeny. The groom pledged himself to mend the unmentionables of his spouse, or to resign his own when required to rock the cradle, and spank the babies. He placed no ring upon her finger, but instead transferred his whiskers to her face, when the chaplain pronounced them 'wife and man,' and the happy pair stalked off, their heads on a level with the second-story windows.

Previous Part     1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11     Next Part
Home - Random Browse